Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why op agreed to her dh joining the fs in the first place. Isn't it obvious that the life would involve constant moving, giving up her career and some difficult posts? That said, warsaw sounds like a great post so not sure what the big deal is.

There are several of us that factor our families in assignments. I know 3 guys who are heading back to Washington within the next year for up to 5 years (you can do this), because of either custody issues or their wives needing a break from all of the travel. I am heading back for 1-3 years for similar reasons.

To add, the typical FSO family model used to be a married man with a SAHM spouse (by choice). That has changed or is changing and that's a good thing. There are positions in Washington or domestic spots even that one can take from time to time that are easier on families and working spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why op agreed to her dh joining the fs in the first place. Isn't it obvious that the life would involve constant moving, giving up her career and some difficult posts? That said, warsaw sounds like a great post so not sure what the big deal is.

There are several of us that factor our families in assignments. I know 3 guys who are heading back to Washington within the next year for up to 5 years (you can do this), because of either custody issues or their wives needing a break from all of the travel. I am heading back for 1-3 years for similar reasons.

To add, the typical FSO family model used to be a married man with a SAHM spouse (by choice). That has changed or is changing and that's a good thing. There are positions in Washington or domestic spots even that one can take from time to time that are easier on families and working spouses.

Agreed. But it sounds like ops husband did try to get back to Washington (top 3 bids) but didn't have any luck with that. And I'm guessing getting a new job to support them in DC isn't something that can be done immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why op agreed to her dh joining the fs in the first place. Isn't it obvious that the life would involve constant moving, giving up her career and some difficult posts? That said, warsaw sounds like a great post so not sure what the big deal is.

There are several of us that factor our families in assignments. I know 3 guys who are heading back to Washington within the next year for up to 5 years (you can do this), because of either custody issues or their wives needing a break from all of the travel. I am heading back for 1-3 years for similar reasons.

To add, the typical FSO family model used to be a married man with a SAHM spouse (by choice). That has changed or is changing and that's a good thing. There are positions in Washington or domestic spots even that one can take from time to time that are easier on families and working spouses.

Agreed. But it sounds like ops husband did try to get back to Washington (top 3 bids) but didn't have any luck with that. And I'm guessing getting a new job to support them in DC isn't something that can be done immediately.

I would say that's a bingo! But OP seems so self centered as not to recognize it.

[Anonymous]

Is the person who resurrected this old thread the actual OP of this thread? In the original post, she sounded entitled and spoiled, but seemed to understand the life she chose as an FSO spouse. In the resurrect, suddenly she wants to end an 18 year marriage for a three year stint in Warsaw. Warsaw isn't the third world...it's a vibrant, modern European capital city that has made huge strides in infrastructure development in the last 20 years, thanks to substantial EU funding. Warsaw is a cakewalk.

She can fly to her beloved Paris in 2.5hrs for around $200 anytime she wants. Or she can stay in the US and fly over for extended visits. Her kids are in college. She has no job. It's only three years.

If the resurrector and the OP really are the same person, and she isn't a troll, then she has lost her mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the person who resurrected this old thread the actual OP of this thread? In the original post, she sounded entitled and spoiled, but seemed to understand the life she chose as an FSO spouse. In the resurrect, suddenly she wants to end an 18 year marriage for a three year stint in Warsaw. Warsaw isn't the third world...it's a vibrant, modern European capital city that has made huge strides in infrastructure development in the last 20 years, thanks to substantial EU funding. Warsaw is a cakewalk.

She can fly to her beloved Paris in 2.5hrs for around $200 anytime she wants. Or she can stay in the US and fly over for extended visits. Her kids are in college. She has no job. It's only three years.

If the resurrector and the OP really are the same person, and she isn't a troll, then she has lost her mind.

She's one and the same. She didn't have much mind to begin with. Her husband deserves much better. I hope I can meet him prior to his wheels up.

[Anonymous]

Wheels up is July. You can have him. I'll keep the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't deserve shit, do it for you kids

Why, exactly, does OP "not deserve shit"? Because she's a woman?

Because she is behaving like a self-centered, entitled little twat, that's why!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't deserve shit, do it for you kids

Why, exactly, does OP "not deserve shit"? Because she's a woman?

Because she is behaving like a self-centered, entitled little twat, that's why!

+1[/


Give her a break, the OP is burned out and right now she is probably thinking how she'll survive another move, especially to someplace she doesn't want. After 18 years she feels she's paid her dues. She probably wants to put down some roots, built friendships, a community, a life and some continuity. instead of dealing with anticipation, anxiety, constant adjustments. Constant movie is not EASY, it is a major stressor to all relationships and she's had 18 years of it. Your easy answers doesn't help. This life involves huge sacrifices by all members of the family. She wants to go to at least a western country for a change, maybe she just can't deal with adjusting to anything less right now. I do not think she is selfish. She has had the responsibility of keeping the family together and intact during constant changes. That's a lot to shoulder as a trailing spouse with little (family, friends, community, familiarity) support generally. You have to provide the support and foundation for everybody.

But, I don't think divorce is the answer. He should do the tour and then comeback. I don't think the kids will look to kindly to them, having had to sacrifice as well by uprooting every few years and not having much to show than a falls apart family. That would be a hard pill to swallow for all the adjustments they have had to make, even considering the benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wheels up is July. You can have him. I'll keep the house. [/quote

OP you sound BTDT. You don't need a divorce. You're burned out, you need a come to jesus with your husband for your kids sake.

[Anonymous]

He was not assigned to any of his top three, and was assigned to number 4 - Warsaw. I had been telling him all along I would not accept a post outside the top 3. He has made his bed, and now has to lie in it. I am not going, and if he goes I just want a divorce. I am sick and tired of it. He will not get another job, even though I have repeatedly asked him to. Ugh!

so, were there posts that he did not bid on that you wanted on there? Did you put up a fight about Warsaw as #4? Its not his fault he didn't get his top 3. Seems like your punishing him for something he doesn't have a lot of control over.

[Anonymous]

To me this sounds like it has nothing to do with FSO life, hardship, schools, etc.

This has everything to do with not being heard or respected in a relationship. She was giving him one final chance to resurect a failing marriage and he chose work, again.

Good luck to you both. I hope you both find what you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me this sounds like it has nothing to do with FSO life, hardship, schools, etc.

This has everything to do with not being heard or respected in a relationship. She was giving him one final chance to resurect a failing marriage and he chose work, again.

Good luck to you both. I hope you both find what you're looking for.

The point where you express your wants and needs OP is when the list is bring put together. You sit down with your DH and work through the priorities - work, schools, etc. Simply saying you want Paris or Geneva because is what YOU want does not necessarily mean that is what is best for the family overall. You do not get to change your mind after the fact when you agreed on the posts on the lists. What were the priorities you and your DH discussed for posts OP. Were these taken into account? Dies Warsaw meet those in some way? If do, I say sorry you didn't get Paris but it looks like you got what you need. I mean, it's not like your going to Bangui or some such place. You will be in the heart of Europe, in the most happening country in Europe right now with opportunities to travel all over the place cheap I think you do not know what you really have OP. I am sorry for you and your poor husband who is doing the best he can for his family

[Anonymous]

So what ever happened here? Did DH go to Poland? Did DW go to? Divorce? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Anonymous]

looks like she would be half way through the assignment she was bitching about.

[Anonymous]

This isn't real. Nobody thinks Warsaw is anything but a dream post: I'm in a neighboring country now, and I'd love it if we made it to Poland. Poland is a gorgeous EU country, and Warsaw is gorgeous: expats we know who came from there or are there now all rave about it. The OP is unhinged.