Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP wasn't as careless as was assumed - maybe "Poland" was just a stand-in for some nearby place but she didn't want to out her husband and make him the topic of watercooler giggles. Maybe they (or at least, he) are happily serving in Prague, Berlin, Bratislava, etc. at present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he agrees to the cushy final assignment, will you agree to go back to work full time after he retires to help with your DD's tuition/loans and make up for his lost pay?

What kind of job and earning potential do you think people have after 18 years of not working? One of the many sacrifices families like this make is often a second income and career.

[Anonymous]

OP--I did not read the whole thread but give you a few thoughts:

I understand your burnout issue. I have several FS friends and this happens a lot even for couples in the service. I a couple who are both in the FS and currently serving not only in two countries, but on two different continents for 3 years. It wasn't their first choice, but they are mid-career (she's been in just under 20 years and he's been in about 7 years) and both postings are significant career boosters. But, it is hard to live on another continent from your spouse, but they took the postings because they give each partner a lot more stability for their career. It is reasonable to feel burned out by the hardship postings and the vagabond lifestyle and a desire to for once be able to take a comfortable posting. I don't blame you.

However there are some very significant issues. First financially, it would be a big mistake to give up the significant pay increase. I did read the part where the DCM position is no longer being considered, but if the later postings that are being considered have a significant financial differential, then you should consider it. First, there is the actual income increase, plus bonuses. Then in addition, the higher salary gets added in his high 3. If he does take one additional state-side posting after this to close out his career, all of the 3 years of that posting will be higher than the current 3 year posting plus step increases. If he takes a lower paid posting in a comfortable position, he'll have 3 years of lower pay (say $35K per year for 3 years, or around $100K) then he'll have his next posting stateside which will be paid at a lower rate, based on his rate for the current posting, which will end up by computation, closer to $40K per year lower or about $120K. Then in addition to the $220K of lost income from those 6 years, then his high-3 for retirement will be lower. Assuming that he's been in the service for long enough to get 65-66% of his high 3, if his high 3 are about $40K lower than it would be, that means that you're dealing with about $13-14K less per year after retirement. This adds up very quickly to a lot of lost career plus retirement earnings. Since many people find it harder to live on the lower incomes of retirement, $13-14K per year could be a huge hit.

Some things to consider, if you were to take a posting in Warsaw for example, do you work? If you don't, then you could schedule yourself some vacations where you can travel around Europe. The European transportation network is significantly stronger than the American one and for relatively little, you can travel within Europe pretty easily and get a lot of exposure to Europe. Alternatively, if you really did not like the posting, could you just stay here for 3 years until he returns stateside for his final posting? Being an empty nester, if you didn't already, you could get a job that just helps to help pay the mortgage and/or living expenses of living separately. It's 3 years and then he'll be back for your golden years.

I sympathize but I encourage you to allow you husband to take the posting and you just consider for yourself what will work best for you to get through that posting.

[Anonymous]

This thread is two years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is two years old.

Long PP just before you...my bad. This is what I get for reading DCUM while multi-tasking on two other things. Feh.

[Anonymous]

The OP followed DH to Warsaw. After a few tense weeks in the Polish capital things came to a head when, at garden party hosted by the Siamese Ambassador, OP - in a vodka fueled rage - launched a canape at her husband. It would have landed on his Brooks Brothers tie had the Prussian Consul not walked between them. Fortunately Herr Consul's monocle saved him from the almost certain loss of his eye.

Mortified by her behavior and near mortal wounding of the Prussian, OP passed out falling into the arms of a dashing young Military Attache from the Italian Legation. They started a passionate affair and everyone is happy.