Grown children--do you help them financially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and my parents bought me a car, house and paid for my education/rent etc. I love working with kids and having my house paid off lets me have a (low paying) job I love. Every day I know I'm making a difference and thanks to my parents generosity with the house I can continue working as a nanny. My parents don't pay for anything else, the house was my send off into the real world. I'm grateful and I work hard every day with kids I adore. If you want to call me and entitled diva princess, that's your choice but I am a hard working person who needed a little help. Now I can live comfortably and keep the job I love.

Not necessarily an entitled Diva but you are still living like a child. Many 16 yr olds have jobs and their parents pay for almost everything - that is the situation that you are in. It is strange to me that adults are happy to remain dependent and not grow up and take on adult responsibilities. To me that is a failure on your parent part, that they didn't raise you to be an independent adult. Your maturity is pretty much stunted and you are still still not able to manage adult responsibility or live independently.

+1. Wouldn't say you're a diva since you are working hard. But part of parenting is making kids realize that life requires money and sometimes you have to take certain jobs or forego certain jobs for financial reasons. I'm sure there are many here who would like to be writers living in Paris -- maybe they even majored in English and took steps towards that dream -- but when they realized it wasn't financially feasible, well that's how they became lawyers and doctors and pharma sales reps and insurance underwriters and those millions of other professions that aren't necessarily anyone's dream or true love.

How often do hear children on career day say I want to be a pharmacy sales rep or an insurance underwriter? It's so true. There are many jobs out there that are not dream jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and my parents bought me a car, house and paid for my education/rent etc. I love working with kids and having my house paid off lets me have a (low paying) job I love. Every day I know I'm making a difference and thanks to my parents generosity with the house I can continue working as a nanny. My parents don't pay for anything else, the house was my send off into the real world. I'm grateful and I work hard every day with kids I adore. If you want to call me and entitled diva princess, that's your choice but I am a hard working person who needed a little help. Now I can live comfortably and keep the job I love.

Read what you wrote! You are out of touch with the real world!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and my parents bought me a car, house and paid for my education/rent etc. I love working with kids and having my house paid off lets me have a (low paying) job I love. Every day I know I'm making a difference and thanks to my parents generosity with the house I can continue working as a nanny. My parents don't pay for anything else, the house was my send off into the real world. I'm grateful and I work hard every day with kids I adore. If you want to call me and entitled diva princess, that's your choice but I am a hard working person who needed a little help. Now I can live comfortably and keep the job I love.

Not necessarily an entitled Diva but you are still living like a child. Many 16 yr olds have jobs and their parents pay for almost everything - that is the situation that you are in. It is strange to me that adults are happy to remain dependent and not grow up and take on adult responsibilities. To me that is a failure on your parent part, that they didn't raise you to be an independent adult. Your maturity is pretty much stunted and you are still still not able to manage adult responsibility or live independently.

+1. Wouldn't say you're a diva since you are working hard. But part of parenting is making kids realize that life requires money and sometimes you have to take certain jobs or forego certain jobs for financial reasons. I'm sure there are many here who would like to be writers living in Paris -- maybe they even majored in English and took steps towards that dream -- but when they realized it wasn't financially feasible, well that's how they became lawyers and doctors and pharma sales reps and insurance underwriters and those millions of other professions that aren't necessarily anyone's dream or true love.

How often do hear children on career day say I want to be a pharmacy sales rep or an insurance underwriter? It's so true. There are many jobs out there that are not dream jobs.

+1. I don't think anyone grew up saying I want to be a mortgage broker or a bank manager or an actuary. But then they got older and realized no one was going to buy them a house or a car or pay for their kids' college so they decided the aforementioned were fine ways to make a solid living, as much as they may really have wanted to be a musician or food critic or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and my parents bought me a car, house and paid for my education/rent etc. I love working with kids and having my house paid off lets me have a (low paying) job I love. Every day I know I'm making a difference and thanks to my parents generosity with the house I can continue working as a nanny. My parents don't pay for anything else, the house was my send off into the real world. I'm grateful and I work hard every day with kids I adore. If you want to call me and entitled diva princess, that's your choice but I am a hard working person who needed a little help. Now I can live comfortably and keep the job I love.

Not necessarily an entitled Diva but you are still living like a child. Many 16 yr olds have jobs and their parents pay for almost everything - that is the situation that you are in. It is strange to me that adults are happy to remain dependent and not grow up and take on adult responsibilities. To me that is a failure on your parent part, that they didn't raise you to be an independent adult. Your maturity is pretty much stunted and you are still still not able to manage adult responsibility or live independently.

+1. Wouldn't say you're a diva since you are working hard. But part of parenting is making kids realize that life requires money and sometimes you have to take certain jobs or forego certain jobs for financial reasons. I'm sure there are many here who would like to be writers living in Paris -- maybe they even majored in English and took steps towards that dream -- but when they realized it wasn't financially feasible, well that's how they became lawyers and doctors and pharma sales reps and insurance underwriters and those millions of other professions that aren't necessarily anyone's dream or true love.

How often do hear children on career day say I want to be a pharmacy sales rep or an insurance underwriter? It's so true. There are many jobs out there that are not dream jobs.

+1. I don't think anyone grew up saying I want to be a mortgage broker or a bank manager or an actuary. But then they got older and realized no one was going to buy them a house or a car or pay for their kids' college so they decided the aforementioned were fine ways to make a solid living, as much as they may really have wanted to be a musician or food critic or whatever.

But what's wrong with that? Do you think it is better and more honorable to be the mortgage broker who doesn't really like his/her job, than to be the musician that you always wanted to be and that makes you happy and to live in the house that your parents paid for you? Maybe you really do, but I certainly don't. I think that it would be wonderful for the musician that s/he could fulfill her/his dream because the parents were in a position to help.

I will never be in a position to buy a house or provide any significant financial help to my children, but I will certainly try to help wherever I can.

[Anonymous]

So, what if our family has enough money to support multiple generations? People keep mentioning the "real world," but that is the real world. We have far, far more money than we need. PPs mention that kids become drug sales reps instead of following creative passions. So who is supposed to be our artists an teachers of the future? I grew up knowing that I would always have more money than I needed. and I've become a responsible adult, gainfully employed in a public interest field, and doing what I believe is valuable work. Shoud I have become a drug rep?

[Anonymous]

No - there is nothing that says that you should refuse significant parental help like housing or money that will allow you to pursue your dream career of being a nanny or artist or whatever and instead slave away as a mortgage broker. However, just realize that you are lucky and spoiled -- you are fortunate that your parents could spoil you like that to allow you to do anything you wanted bc most "normal" people would have to pick an occupation that pays enough to afford their own housing, cars etc.

I find that when people have things given to them - esp in this area where there is wealth - they downplay and say "no big deal - if my parents didn't give me a house, I could still have gotten it myself." They don't realize the sacrifice it takes to save up down payments etc. bc they never had to make that sacrifice themselves.

Most people do not appreciate their parents' money the same way they appreciate their own -- bc the effort to earn it was not their own. It's the same way when kids ask for some $20 item and you say no, they say/imply "what's the big deal, you're being cheap." However, when they have to spend $20 out of their own allowance for that same thing, they really think about whether they want or need it.