Grown children--do you help them financially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I do think parents who can afford should do is pay for health insurance.

For the people who said they moved here on their own....student loan expenses and rents have skyrocketed. I the 90s, you could easily rent a room in a group house or apartment for 400 or 500 a month. Now rooms in group houses in dc range from 1200 to 1700. Salaries have stagnated.

If the person is on the "open market"/unemployed, sure. If a fairly reasonable employer-sponsored plan is available, then I don't see why the "kid" shouldn't pay it out of their paycheck like everyone else does. We all have to make do with our earnings, and provide the necessities for ourselves.

Pp here. I agree. Im just saying that if your adult kid doesn't have a job or health insurance that is the smartest thing to subsidize. If your kid gets cancer, are you really going to not pitch in to pay for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I do think parents who can afford should do is pay for health insurance.

For the people who said they moved here on their own....student loan expenses and rents have skyrocketed. I the 90s, you could easily rent a room in a group house or apartment for 400 or 500 a month. Now rooms in group houses in dc range from 1200 to 1700. Salaries have stagnated.

If the person is on the "open market"/unemployed, sure. If a fairly reasonable employer-sponsored plan is available, then I don't see why the "kid" shouldn't pay it out of their paycheck like everyone else does. We all have to make do with our earnings, and provide the necessities for ourselves.

well, then you get into whether or not jobs are actually offering health care as a benefit. And whether the plan is at all decent. We had excellent plans 10 years ago. Now, we pay more and get less.

Health costs is another whole can of worms AND another shitty thing that we are stuck with that wasn't this way just a couple decades ago.

Seriously, our future blows.

[Anonymous]

My parents bought me my first car, paid my rent until I was 27, bought me a house when I was 30. I have a masters degree that they paid for and zero debt. I do not see this as a problems and will do the same for my children. If you can afford it and the kids are entitled assholes, why not help?

[Anonymous]

Haha I meant if this kids aren't entitled assholes haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents bought me my first car, paid my rent until I was 27, bought me a house when I was 30. I have a masters degree that they paid for and zero debt. I do not see this as a problems and will do the same for my children. If you can afford it and the kids are entitled assholes, why not help?

And how old are you now?

[Anonymous]

If it doesn't hurt you and they are working toward something, that's fabulous. Very few people can do that for their kids, but hey, more power to you as long as your kids AREN'T assholes. But that does put you in a very small, elite group who can do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know how expensive it is to live in DC. Do you help your grown child (22-30) with their monthly rent?

Context is everything. It depends.

[Anonymous]

What's the tipping point? When are you doing more harm than good?

I suppose if you see the kids blowing at $100 the bar you are giving too much. And it seems that kids need to have some tough years to help them find their way and be responsible (ages 20-30?). But what about later? What about responsible 40 year olds? When do you help them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents bought me my first car, paid my rent until I was 27, bought me a house when I was 30. I have a masters degree that they paid for and zero debt. I do not see this as a problems and will do the same for my children. If you can afford it and the kids are entitled assholes, why not help?

If you don't know, you are very stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it doesn't hurt you and they are working toward something, that's fabulous. Very few people can do that for their kids, but hey, more power to you as long as your kids AREN'T assholes. But that does put you in a very small, elite group who can do that.

But the kids tend to become entitled, asshole adults. How does that benefit society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents bought me my first car, paid my rent until I was 27, bought me a house when I was 30. I have a masters degree that they paid for and zero debt. I do not see this as a problems and will do the same for my children. If you can afford it and the kids are entitled assholes, why not help?

And how old are you now?

Exactly. This poster is still a child, not yet functioning independently. To be 30 and still unable to manage any adult responsibilities is pretty much the perfect example of a parenting failure. The goal is to raise your children to be a capable adults, not to still be fully dependent on your parents. This poster also likely has no idea how entitled she is given she doesn't really understand being an adult.

[Anonymous]

No, not unless they were in dire straits for some reason. Starting around 24 kids can begin to take some responsibility for themselves, paying for things they want. By 16 they needed to have a job and to start saving for college. By 18 they are adults and I expect them to have the capability to understand and manage their finances by that point. That doesn't mean I am against parents providing financial support for college (i.e. paying tuition) but outside of a specific financial arrangement the young adult should be managing their own responsibilities, and their own financial commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not unless they were in dire straits for some reason. Starting around 24 kids can begin to take some responsibility for themselves, paying for things they want. By 16 they needed to have a job and to start saving for college. By 18 they are adults and I expect them to have the capability to understand and manage their finances by that point. That doesn't mean I am against parents providing financial support for college (i.e. paying tuition) but outside of a specific financial arrangement the young adult should be managing their own responsibilities, and their own financial commitments.

Unlikely that this will happen to DCUM Special Snowflakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PP here. There is an interesting book called "The Millionaire Next Door." One thing it discusses is how you are actually crippling rather than helping them when you subsidize them. My cousin has a Starbucks card that is linked to her parents CC. When it dips too low it automatically replenishes itself from their CC. She drinks a latte daily, on her parents.

I don't think a latte a day is really supporting her. Some people are a bit too crazy about cutting-off the kids. FWIW - DH and I completely support ourselves, but my parents gave me a credit card to buy gifts every couple of months for our kids. We got to the toy store and buy presents from grandma and grandpa. It's easier than my parents buying and shipping, and the kids get what they want. They call my parents after the shopping trip to thank them. Sometimes parents just want to do nice things for their kids because they love them. Responsible adult children don't use this as a crutch.

I think this is stupid. Why would you want to buy your own kids presents on your parents' credit card? SMH...

[Anonymous]

My parents have never paid for my rent or anything like that, but in my 20s they helped me out quite a bit. They paid for college, helped me with moving costs when I went to grad school, paid for most of my wedding, my dad gave me his old car, and allowed they allowed me to be on their family cell phone plan until I got married (provided I paid for my portion of the bill).

But my grandparents basically did the same for my parents. They loaned them some money for their first house downpayment, paid for their college, my grandfather helped pay for his grandchildren's college education, and both grandparents let us live with them for a few months while we were moving for my father's work.

If you have the means, why wouldn't you? My parents never paid for any of my normal bills (rent, insurance, utilities, etc.) and I never felt entitled for them to help me out--it was a pleasant surprise when they did. It made things financially easier starting out, and I intend to take care of them when they are too old to do so themselves as well as provide as much as I am able for my own kids.