Wedding gift for cousin given circumstances....?

[Anonymous]

You do not need to pay for your plate, and anyone who says you do is rude.

[Anonymous]

I generally give around $100 for friends and $200-$300 for relatives, and I feel I probably usually err on the side of being overly generous. I am also a late 30s homeowner with a good job so I feel this is appropriate. For everyone else I think the $40-$50 range is totally appropriate. That is why they have so many gifts in that range on registries!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the people on this thread live in la la land.

$200 is crazy for a gift, unless it's for your child who is getting married.

A $40 gift is completely acceptable and normal. People want you there because they want to celebrate with close friends and family; not because they think you're going to give them a ton of money and stuff. (and if they are in the opposite camp, who gives two shits about them?).

You are in no way expected to pay for your plate.

WTF?? when my close cousin married I was a bridesmaid and son was ring buy. I gave $1000. For her shower I spent 700.

This is insane, some of you are cheap. I give 200 to any old person's wedding I attend. A cousin, far more!

If parents give their kids 200, they are cheap bastard. I would rather nothing at all.

You don't seem to realize what a very small bubble you live in. . . On second thought, I'd bet that you're very deliberate about keeping that bubble small.

I didnt start this, everyone does it. I am not going to be the cheap one who doesnt. It's not a small bubble. My cousin had 600 people at her wedding. (mine was much smaller).

600 people -with those gift expectations: the ultimate gift grab!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not need to pay for your plate, and anyone who says you do is rude.

If people expect you to pay for your plate, it sounds like they can't afford the party in the first place. So tacky to host and expect something in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"WTF?? when my close cousin married I was a bridesmaid and son was ring buy. I gave $1000. For her shower I spent 700."

Nouveau riche.

Trash with money.

being generous is now trashy???
being cheap is what then???

Being a show-off and making people uncomfortable by flaunting money s definitely low-class.

Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just whar one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

Wow. Just wow.

I had people (family members) give me $10 or $15 gifts for my wedding, and the only thing I cared about was that they were there. A few friends gave only the gifts of their presence -- flying out to see me get married. I knew it was tough on their budget to fly out and stay in a hotel, and I appreciated them being there so much more than any silly gift that I might not be using in 10 years.

Where are your priorities? People and memories are more important than money or things. I just can't get over people even thinking about how much guests spend on a wedding gift.

[Anonymous]

"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

[Anonymous]

OP, Sorry I didn't read this all but one way that we helped some of our family and friends that didn't have as much money was to connect people who would be interested in sharing a room (we actually had several in town friends who offered to host out of town friends/family for free). Perhaps you could reduce some of your cost by sharing a room?
I think a $50 gift is totally acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the people on this thread live in la la land.

$200 is crazy for a gift, unless it's for your child who is getting married.

A $40 gift is completely acceptable and normal. .

$200 for your own child's wedding!?!?!! Now that is cheap!!

OP I think you should give $100. My DH is from a cheaper area and I think their gifts average around $100, but around here gifts average $150-250. I just think weddings are special and are something that attendees budget for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Still not getting it....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

I immigrated to the U.S. at age 12 from Austria. I go to visit family twice a year. Most of my American friends do not have huge rings. Possibly you need to make some new friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.