Wedding gift for cousin given circumstances....?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

Looking for advice about what type of gift would be appropriate for my cousin's out of town wedding. I will be attending alone (with my immediate family, no date) and must fly there and am paying for the flight and to rent a hotel room, so it is getting pretty expensive. I work full-time but am in graduate school so not making much money and this is already a large expenditure. I've read that the common etiquette is to give a gift and pay for your plate- give at least $100 or so. In this circumstance, what would you do with limited finances? I want to celebrate them but am not in a place to give a gift + $100 on top of the plane tickets and hotel.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Do you have a talent? Can you paint them a picture? Or write their names in calligraphy? You could even take a Tom of photos and send the best 2 framed as a gift after the wedding.

Personally, I think that in your situation, your presence is the best gift.

[Anonymous]

How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

Are you Jewish? I find the they give larger cash gifts than most ethnicities.

I am a wasp and I think it is fine for you to spend around forty dollars. If you were older and had a six figure job, i would say around 100 for a close cousin or sixty for a not close cousin. Different cultures or families might expect more.

You absolutely do not need to pay for your plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

So you think the gift is more important than her presence??

[Anonymous]

When I asked my cousin where he registered for his out-of-town wedding that I could not attend, he replied that they did not register since they are asking everyone to travel for their wedding. I assume from that that they were not expecting gifts from anyone in attendance.

[Anonymous]

My cousins would want me there regardless of whether or not there was a gift involved. That said, I would rather stay at a red roof inn over the Hilton if it meant being able to give a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

So you think the gift is more important than her presence??

Her PRESENCE is more important than presents!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

So you think the gift is more important than her presence??

Her PRESENCE is more important than presents!!!

OP here. Thanks for the replies so far. I do think it is relevant that I am not bringing a date just in that a lesser monetary gift would be given... correct? I do not have much experience with this so maybe I am wrong. I do want to give a gift, whether it's something nicer from the registry or cash instead that was maybe $50. I do think it is important to be there, and I am excited to go. I don't think the cousin will care about the gift at all, but I am just trying to figure out what works in this case.

I am staying at the hotel where there is a block of rooms. I do not know the city and it will be easier to arrange getting around staying where more people are.

[Anonymous]

Fifty dollars is fine

[Anonymous]

$50 is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much it costs you to get to the wedding should not be connected to the gift, nor should the fact that you're not bringing a date. I would feel awful to give any of my cousins less than $200 for their weddings.

If you can't afford to go, then don't go and send your regrets with a proper gift.

Are you Jewish? I find the they give larger cash gifts than most ethnicities.

I am a wasp and I think it is fine for you to spend around forty dollars. If you were older and had a six figure job, i would say around 100 for a close cousin or sixty for a not close cousin. Different cultures or families might expect more.

You absolutely do not need to pay for your plate.

Wow, that is an insulting gift. Even when I was making $30k and in my early 20's I gave $200.

[Anonymous]

I say $50 per person in your party. If you were bringing a guest, then $100. If just yourself, then $50.

[Anonymous]

We had a very small wedding where almost all of our guests were from out of state. Not everyone brought a gift and that was just fine with us because we didn't get married for possessions.

[Anonymous]

Could you go in w/ your parents and give a gift? My own cousins did this for me when I got married; the four cousins, all siblings, got together and gave me a place setting of my dishes.