Wedding gift for cousin given circumstances....?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.

Hey, no worried, I am in fact going home. Just like a vast majority of my friends and acquaintance from Harvard and MIT. Something to think about, you assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.

Ditto. And please learn how to spell, Ms. Nouveau Riche!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.

Hey, no worried, I am in fact going home. Just like a vast majo
rity of my friends and acquaintance from Harvard and MIT. Something to think about, you assholes.

Where is home? We don't want to risk bumping into you. Perhaps you can encourage your home country to have better institutions of higher learning. How pathetic that you have to rely on the U.S. for your education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.

Hey, no worried, I am in fact going home. Just like a vast majority of my friends and acquaintance from Harvard and MIT. Something to think about, you assholes.

Trash with money. Just as I thought!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

I immigrated to the U.S. at age 12 from Austria. I go to visit family twice a year. Most of my American friends do not have huge rings. Possibly you need to make some new friends.

I don't need to have a friend doing X to observe a cultural trend X. I don't in fact have friends who compare their "rocks", yet I am aware it is a very common thing. Likewise, dressing one's girlfriends the same, which must be the stupidest and tackiest idea ever. But, then when you spend $500 on a wedding present you are "showing off" - though, to be honest, not really. Americans are very pleased to get expensive stuff, nothing beats getting something for free.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the Eurotrash that has set up camp here. You have heard a lot of lovely advice. Do what you can -any true gem of a person will appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

I immigrated to the U.S. at age 12 from Austria. I go to visit family twice a year. Most of my American friends do not have huge rings. Possibly you need to make some new friends.

I don't need to have a friend doing X to observe a cultural trend X. I don't in fact have friends who compare their "rocks", yet I am aware it is a very common thing. Likewise, dressing one's girlfriends the same, which must be the stupidest and tackiest idea ever. But, then when you spend $500 on a wedding present you are "showing off" - though, to be honest, not really. Americans are very pleased to get expensive stuff, nothing beats getting something for free.

PP, please do tell country of origin. Many of us have lived abroad for lengthy periods, are well traveled, etc. I'm sure we might be able to cobble together some salient criticism of your native land, and do it far more articulately without reverting to swearing. So, where is your land of milk and honey?

[Anonymous]

I am 40 with a comfortable with a comfortable le HHI, I usually give around $250 value gift off of registry, more if family.

HOWEVER, based on OP's circumstances, give what you ar comfortable giving, or see if you can join in a group gift or get their item at a discount vendor like MichaelCFina. Any person worth knowing shouldn't care or be concerned with the $$$ value of your gift, I wasn't. I was just happy people came and celebrated with me.

Now a great S/o thread would be the weirdest wedding present people received. I got some real odd ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nobody is uncomfortable because these gifts are the norm. I find it hilarious that in a supposedly one of the richest countries in the world. $200 or $500 is considered a lavish wedding gift. It has nothing to do with wealth, just what one is willing to spend on. On the other had, wedding themselves cost tens of thousands of dollars and are planned for months. How is that for low class and pathetic?"

The nouveau riche never get it.

No, you dont get it. I am European and my wedding cost maybe $3000. No, I didnt spend a year planning it. I got twice that much from cash gifts. it was very helpful at the time. Women in the USA expect engagement rings worth thousands of dollars. I still dont have a proper wedding ring and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Just because you are European does not mean every European behaves as you do. It's a large continent with many different cultural practices. Your bean counting is crass.

And expecting $10,000 ring and a boring, long, choreohtaphed wedding is not? Please. And thanks for the lecture on diveristy on Europe. You have been there, like, what... Twice?

Since it's so much better, please do go home. With your innate bitchiness and narrow-mindedness I highly doubt you will be missed on these shores.

Hey, no worried, I am in fact going home. Just like a vast majority of my friends and acquaintance from Harvard and MIT. Something to think about, you assholes.

Trash with money. Just as I thought!

Didn't take long to drop the H bomb!

[Anonymous]

It is clear we have some bridezillas on this thread. Geez, ladies (and I use that term loosely), grow up.

Op, give what you can comfortably afford. You are under no obligation to pay for your plate. You are the guest, not the host. Some areas if the country and some cultures seem to demand/elect more, but rules of etiquette dictate otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone- OP here. I think I will get a $40 or so gift, or perhaps split something with my parents. I do not think my family's monetary expectations are as high as some of the numbers listed on this thread but I know everyone is different.

I am definitely going because it is a family wedding and I really want to be there; honestly I will already be saving and using my credit card for just the tickets/hotel. So to those who say I should just not go if I can't give $100-200 I don't really think that's reasonable or what family is about. I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Good call, OP. Have a good one.

This thread is nuts. I got married 10 years ago in the south, had nearly 200 people at the wedding, and I don't think I got a single gift worth more than $100, unless you count my parents' contribution to the wedding itself (which i do!) The gifts we got were all over the map - from nothing to one or two pieces of nice crystal. And I'm not sure what the most I've ever spent on a wedding gift is - maybe a couple hundred on my sister's wedding present? Not sure. Most people with wedding registries intentionally include a wide range of price items. This: You're under no obligation to give a gift. Ever. It's a gift. You're certainly under no obligation to give more than you can reasonably afford. Your cousin presumably would appreciate your presence most of all!