This was a real post on my neighborhood listserv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

+1

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

Although I agree with you in theory, what was posting to the listserve supposed to do about it? It's not like the whole neighborhood was going to track down this guy and lecture him about how some kids are sensitive.

I'd also like to know where the kid got a pinecone, especially at this time of year, but that's for another post.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for including the delicious Keats tagline. I am dying.

- The moral arc of the universe is long, but bends towards pinecones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is in Bethesda,

Figures, good Lord, this is where I live.
The children of the bourgeoisie have no resiliency, and can make no mistakes. Bracing for an epidemic of "white collar' crime.

Let's hope there is some real leadership coming in the next generation from the Heartland Middle Class - a la Bill Clinton.

Okay, really? Clinton was a good president, but not sure I would hold him up as a role model for my children when it comes to personal conduct. Multiple affairs and a marriage maintained for business/political reasons. On the other hand he was never accused, at least that we know of, of pinecone assault.

[Anonymous]

This was posted on mine. It remains one of my all time favorites.

My Dear Neighbors:

I am so grateful for the countless phone calls I received in response to my posting about
needing emergency transportation to take my beloved Parrot to the doctor after he
swallowed an acupuncture needle that my M.D. had put and deliberately left, as part of the
treatment, in my ear. (My little Bird is always preening me and I should have worn a scarf or ear muffs
to cover the needles.)

All is well. A wonderful neighbor--name redacted, who has never even met me--drove me to the doctor
and waited. The dear little tyke got rid of the needle after they anesthetized him with gas for the X-Ray.
It made him nauseous and he threw it up, thank God, without its having pierced his organs and infected him.
But beforehand the poor little one suffered so much, crying and calling out.

Again, thank you, Everyone, for your kindhearted, rapid and numerous responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was posted on mine. It remains one of my all time favorites.

My Dear Neighbors:

I am so grateful for the countless phone calls I received in response to my posting about
needing emergency transportation to take my beloved Parrot to the doctor after he
swallowed an acupuncture needle that my M.D. had put and deliberately left, as part of the
treatment, in my ear. (My little Bird is always preening me and I should have worn a scarf or ear muffs
to cover the needles.)

All is well. A wonderful neighbor--name redacted, who has never even met me--drove me to the doctor
and waited. The dear little tyke got rid of the needle after they anesthetized him with gas for the X-Ray.
It made him nauseous and he threw it up, thank God, without its having pierced his organs and infected him.
But beforehand the poor little one suffered so much, crying and calling out.

Again, thank you, Everyone, for your kindhearted, rapid and numerous responses.

PUT A BIRD ON IT

[Anonymous]

My personal favorite from my neighborhood:

(inserted picture of floral couch) Does this belong to anyone or did anyone see who dumped it in this dumpster? We got this dumpster to get rid of stuff at our house and we have to pay for anything that is stacked higher than the sides. Someone dumped this couch in here today 5-1-13 while we were at work.

If anyone knows who did it, or if it was you please tell us. We had to pay quite a bit for it and now (name redacted) has to cut it up into pieces to try to make it fit. Next time we would be happy to share If someone asked.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

I agree. I personally would not have posted to a list serve, but I can see the mother's point of view, not sure what the BFD is here

[Anonymous]

Sure, I understand sensitive kids. I was one. But the same sensitive kid would likely want to die of shame that his mother went the listserv route with this. So...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is in very poor taste that you are posting this here. Have some respect for neighborhood list serves. There's a line that you don't cross- when someone posts a message with their and their child's name on it. They are doing it in good faith that their kind neighbors won't publicly shame them as you are doing here.

Sure, the message is stupid, but I look more poorly on you, OP. I also think that the website admin should not allow this kind of posting that is a kind of "public shaming" for other messages that were posted in good faith that they would not be circulated for widespread ridicule.

Is your kid still crying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is in very poor taste that you are posting this here. Have some respect for neighborhood list serves. There's a line that you don't cross- when someone posts a message with their and their child's name on it. They are doing it in good faith that their kind neighbors won't publicly shame them as you are doing here.

Sure, the message is stupid, but I look more poorly on you, OP. I also think that the website admin should not allow this kind of posting that is a kind of "public shaming" for other messages that were posted in good faith that they would not be circulated for widespread ridicule.

Is your kid still crying?

Leave pine cone mom alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is in very poor taste that you are posting this here. Have some respect for neighborhood list serves. There's a line that you don't cross- when someone posts a message with their and their child's name on it. They are doing it in good faith that their kind neighbors won't publicly shame them as you are doing here.

Sure, the message is stupid, but I look more poorly on you, OP. I also think that the website admin should not allow this kind of posting that is a kind of "public shaming" for other messages that were posted in good faith that they would not be circulated for widespread ridicule.

Is your kid still crying?

Leave pine cone mom alone!

Crazy Pinecone Lady sucks for not making her kid save it, so they could spend some time together turning into a DIY!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

[Anonymous]

OP here -- wow this really blew up since I last checked.

Thank you to the PP who wrote all the pithy pinecone pearls. I have been laughing out loud reading them.

As for those of you who had a problem with my posting this, thank you also for reminding me that there is a portion of the population that has no sense of humor!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

These two responses are way worse than the listerv post. It is offensive to gays, women, and boys, and isn't even funny or witty or mildly amusing.