This was a real post on my neighborhood listserv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

I agree. I personally would not have posted to a list serve, but I can see the mother's point of view, not sure what the BFD is here

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

I think you mean a pinecone purse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

I think you mean a pinecone purse

Sexism and gay bashing. Super funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

These two responses are way worse than the listerv post. It is offensive to gays, women, and boys, and isn't even funny or witty or mildly amusing.

I never said anything about gay. Are you making the assumption that all gays carry purses and wear red bottoms? Quelle horreur!!!! We're saying the kid is going to be a pansy; a real creepy momma's boy afraid of his own shadow. YOU connected purses and pumps to the gays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

I think you mean a pinecone purse

Sexism and gay bashing. Super funny.

Uuhh! That pinecone purse is hee-lar-ious!!

[Anonymous]

No, I didn't. Limp wrist is a notorious pejorative for gay men. Nice try defelcting your ugliness, though.

Regardless, the idea that boys are somehow less than for feeling shame says a lot about our ridiculous notions of manhood ( and comparing it to female qualities In a demeaning way is also sexist).

So...assholes.. Everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is going to be a limp wrist.

Carrying a gucci purse & wearing red bottoms!

These two responses are way worse than the listerv post. It is offensive to gays, women, and boys, and isn't even funny or witty or mildly amusing.

I never said anything about gay. Are you making the assumption that all gays carry purses and wear red bottoms? Quelle horreur!!!! We're saying the kid is going to be a pansy; a real creepy momma's boy afraid of his own shadow. YOU connected purses and pumps to the gays.

Np, but this one incident means the kid is going to be a creepy momma's boy??? Get real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

I agree. I personally would not have posted to a list serve, but I can see the mother's point of view, not sure what the BFD is here

Same here.

I agree too. I am nearly 40 years old and I still remember a couple of occasions when I was yelled at by strangers as a kid. I was devastated at the time. I don't think I would have posted to a list serv but I would have been upset on behalf of my kid.

[Anonymous]

You know the kid involved is already back home typing on his iPad2 whilst throwing back some organic & gluten free snacks. He don't care....he doesn't give a sh$#. Seriously, the mother is the one hung up on this one...

[Anonymous]

She never said the kid was yelled at!

Talk about projecting your own issues.

The man said a few words to her, said - not yelled. He never spoke to the kid.

My god, what a bunch of neurotics!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know the kid involved is already back home typing on his iPad2 whilst throwing back some organic & gluten free snacks. He don't care....he doesn't give a sh$#. Seriously, the mother is the one hung up on this one...

Word!

[Anonymous]

A six year old hit a car with a flying object. He should be scared.

[takoma]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

What else would you say if you said something you think needed saying, but you know that, unfortunately, someone was offended? I want to express my sympathy, but I'm not apologizing. Surely people know that sorry is not a synonym for apology. If not, I'm sorry to hear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is in Bethesda,

Figures, good Lord, this is where I live.
The children of the bourgeoisie have no resiliency, and can make no mistakes. Bracing for an epidemic of "white collar' crime.

Let's hope there is some real leadership coming in the next generation from the Heartland Middle Class - a la Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton!!!! A man who can't keep his hands off interns? Sorry, not a great icon for discipline and self-control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She never said the kid was yelled at!

Talk about projecting your own issues.

The man said a few words to her, said - not yelled. He never spoke to the kid.

My god, what a bunch of neurotics!

THANK YOU!! It's like people glance over the post and then just go off on their tangents.