This was a real post on my neighborhood listserv

[Anonymous]

If you give a man a pinecone, he'll hit you with it today. If you teach him how to harvest his own organic, gluten-free, free-range pinecones, he'll pelt you for life.

[Anonymous]

So where did the kid get the pinecone? Don't pinecones typically come off the trees in fall? Do you suppose he collected the pinecones last fall and stashed them in his carseat, just waiting for this opportunity to bean someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So where did the kid get the pinecone? Don't pinecones typically come off the trees in fall? Do you suppose he collected the pinecones last fall and stashed them in his carseat, just waiting for this opportunity to bean someone?

The Devil put the pinecone in his hand.

[Anonymous]

Now is the pinecone of Mom's disconent

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now is the pinecone of Mom's disconent

My favorite so far.

[Anonymous]

Be the pinecone you wish to see in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

+1

[Anonymous]

I came, I saw, I pineconed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagined response:

Dear Annie,

I was devastated to hear about the incident this morning. Poor Julian! I'm so glad you alerted the neighborhood so that we can be on the lookout for this man. Did you get his license plate number? What has the world become that our children can't even be in public places, without people saying hateful things. Actually, I just feel sorry for that man, can you imagine going through life filled with that much hate? You and Julian should take the time you need to grieve before you begin healing.

I was planning to email you this week to warn you about a troubling incident at the Gentle Friends Coop. You know I've always been a big supporter of Gentle Friends, and Maisie has blossomed there. But last week, I was sitting on a bench watching her play, and a little boy came up to her and said "YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL!" Can you imagine? I spoke to the director immediately, and she said it was "developmentally normal"! Well, we walked out the door and we're never going back. Maisie hasn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks. I thought she had been exposed to gluten, but now I know it was the trauma of being bullied. I'm trying to forgive myself for not attending all the Coop sessions. Now I know!

This parenting thing can be so hard sometimes! Hope I see you at yoga, it's a great stress reliever!

Kate

I think I love you.

[Anonymous]

A woman is like a pinecone - you can't tell how strong she is until you throw her out of your car window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is in Bethesda,

Figures, good Lord, this is where I live.
The children of the bourgeoisie have no resiliency, and can make no mistakes. Bracing for an epidemic of "white collar' crime.

Let's hope there is some real leadership coming in the next generation from the Heartland Middle Class - a la Bill Clinton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

I know a boy like this as well, so I do have a bit of sympathy. While I wouldn't have posted it on the listserve, I can see why she would have wanted to let her son have the chance to respond to being yelled at/ talked to/ whatever.

I also have a totally batshit crazy neighbor who likes to yell at the women in our building for random things and then walks away without letting you respond- It really does drive me nuts. She once went off on me for something in the laundry room and when I said "I'd be more than willing to have a conversation about this if you'd let me speak" she said "I'm not going to talk to you, I find you to be unreasonable" and slammed a door in my face.

[Anonymous]

Another Bethesda story - once we had a couple to dinner with their young child, who was about 3. My fiancee (now DH) had white carpeting in the dining room. (I know, I know...remember what it was like to be single??) The kid, whom we had been warned was a "handful" by other friends, picked up something (forget what it was) and it appeared he was going to drop it on the carpet, soiling it. My fiancee said, "NO!" very sharply -- again, as we were afraid the parents would do nothing -- and the kid started crying. It was like he had never heard the word NO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is in very poor taste that you are posting this here. Have some respect for neighborhood list serves. There's a line that you don't cross- when someone posts a message with their and their child's name on it. They are doing it in good faith that their kind neighbors won't publicly shame them as you are doing here.

Sure, the message is stupid, but I look more poorly on you, OP. I also think that the website admin should not allow this kind of posting that is a kind of "public shaming" for other messages that were posted in good faith that they would not be circulated for widespread ridicule.

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Disagree. The mother needs to learn a lesson. I hope she sees this post and reads the responses. Society will be better off. -- Another Bethesda Mom