s/o straight men sleeping with men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking seriously - if you try something once. one time. once. and aren't into it. that is not gay.

and for the gay brother (thanks for speaking for all gays btw ) no one is perpetuating that it's bad to be gay. But rather the opposite. That we think it's all good - which is why we try it - and find out it's not for us. You know, same way a gay teen tries it with a girl once, and discovers its not for him.

Good grief. every try something and don't like it? Seriously, tell me what's the difference.

PP with the gay brother. He did not purport to speak for ALL gays. He spoke for himself and I posted it.

You are saying it is the opposite? I disagree. People are arguing to the teeth they are not "gay" although they committed one or more homosexual acts.
What's wrong with being called gay? People are going out of their way to deflect the label - like something is wrong with it.

Frankly, I do not care what people do in the privacy of their bedroom. Just be upfront about it.

People are arguing with being called gay because they currently do not fantasize about other men, love the scent and feel of a woman, can't wait to bone their wives and do not secretly wish she was some dude - they don't look at other men and think they're hot, but can fully appreciate a sexy woman walking down the sidewalk with her ass swaying slightly and her tits bouncing. That's why they're arguing about it. Clearly they have no problem with it if they've tried it and they wouldn't have a problem calling themselves gay if they wanted to be with men in mind and body. But they don't. How is that difficult to understand?

Why are these men oh so hetero? You can dream about a lady all day every day. The sec. you take one from the other team, your gay.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like they're gay dudes who get off on women. They're on that side of the gay spectrum okay with a pootnanny every now and again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're gay dudes who get off on women. They're on that side of the gay spectrum okay with a pootnanny every now and again.

yeah, kind of like they're straight dudes who get off on men???? how is that different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking seriously - if you try something once. one time. once. and aren't into it. that is not gay.

and for the gay brother (thanks for speaking for all gays btw ) no one is perpetuating that it's bad to be gay. But rather the opposite. That we think it's all good - which is why we try it - and find out it's not for us. You know, same way a gay teen tries it with a girl once, and discovers its not for him.

Good grief. every try something and don't like it? Seriously, tell me what's the difference.

PP with the gay brother. He did not purport to speak for ALL gays. He spoke for himself and I posted it.

You are saying it is the opposite? I disagree. People are arguing to the teeth they are not "gay" although they committed one or more homosexual acts.
What's wrong with being called gay? People are going out of their way to deflect the label - like something is wrong with it.

Frankly, I do not care what people do in the privacy of their bedroom. Just be upfront about it.

People are arguing with being called gay because they currently do not fantasize about other men, love the scent and feel of a woman, can't wait to bone their wives and do not secretly wish she was some dude - they don't look at other men and think they're hot, but can fully appreciate a sexy woman walking down the sidewalk with her ass swaying slightly and her tits bouncing. That's why they're arguing about it. Clearly they have no problem with it if they've tried it and they wouldn't have a problem calling themselves gay if they wanted to be with men in mind and body. But they don't. How is that difficult to understand?

Look you obviously messed around with dudes in your past and now regret it. Fine.

But you have to know that at the point when you did those things....you were not being "straight man." There are some things you cannot just ignore or talk your way out of. This being one of them.

[Anonymous]

PP here.

Interesting that we are being called "bigots" but the experimenters are the ones going postal about being called "gay."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So would someone who is gay today but had heterosexual relationships in the past have his gayness questioned because of his prior heterosexual involvements?

The truth pisses you off. Gay trumps everything else. Once you're gay you stay. You're reverse psychology is illogical and WRONG. Ask any gay man today who's out as gay if they had hetero relationships. They'll say yes and they'll say they're gay. No one questions that. But, they do question the reverse. Sorry. Life isn't fair. You're parents didn't teach you that?

It's like the one drop rule. If you have any black blood in the family tree, you're black!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

I don't think anyone making the non-gay argument is a bigot or has problems with the 'label', it's just not the correct label. My kids have special needs and I feel this issue keenly. I have no problem with people knowing what my kids' 'labels' because that's how their disabilities are best described. There are overlapping symptoms between different 'labels' (think ADHD and ASD) that may lead a person to think my child has a different label than the one diagnoses but that would be incorrect. In the same way, homosexual experience doesn't necessarily indicate sexual preference. "Gay" describes someone's preference, not their experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

Your BIL is spot-on about a few homosexual experiences not being enough to establish one's sexual preference.

[Anonymous]

I prefer a DH or BF that wouldn't have a gay experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

I don't think anyone making the non-gay argument is a bigot or has problems with the 'label', it's just not the correct label. My kids have special needs and I feel this issue keenly. I have no problem with people knowing what my kids' 'labels' because that's how their disabilities are best described. There are overlapping symptoms between different 'labels' (think ADHD and ASD) that may lead a person to think my child has a different label than the one diagnoses but that would be incorrect. In the same way, homosexual experience doesn't necessarily indicate sexual preference. "Gay" describes someone's preference, not their experience.

You have a gay BIL. Yeah, sure!
Funny how a convenient gay "fill in the black" pops up when you're losing an argument! Okay, back to reality. The very second a man is involved with another man and is sexually mature, he is gay. So teens wacking off together, guys patrolling truck stops on the way home to their wives, whatever, are gay. If you do have a brother in law he needs to be bitch slapped for not standing up for his own!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer a DH or BF that wouldn't have a gay experience.

+1. Gay experience, not matter how remote = gay to me. Bisexual male = gay. Any man sleeping with a man (MSM) = gay. The only one who needs to be strictly dickly in my relationship is me- the DW! And also I'm not scared for my DH to suddenly be gay. Hasta la vista! There's too many straight men, as in no homosexuality under their belt since we've got to quality that simple term now, for me to have to accept a secret gay man in my life.

[Anonymous]

Got nothin' but love for gay men, just not in my bedroom. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Thank you both PPs why does it seem like so many people are trying to overjustify their "experiences". You are BI!!! Geesh accept yourself.

SIgned another strickly dickly woman, with a STRAIGHT man haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So would someone who is gay today but had heterosexual relationships in the past have his gayness questioned because of his prior heterosexual involvements?

The truth pisses you off. Gay trumps everything else. Once you're gay you stay. You're reverse psychology is illogical and WRONG. Ask any gay man today who's out as gay if they had hetero relationships. They'll say yes and they'll say they're gay. No one questions that. But, they do question the reverse. Sorry. Life isn't fair. You're parents didn't teach you that?

It's like the one drop rule. If you have any black blood in the family tree, you're black!

Right on, sister girl! I'm blonde haired and blue eyed. Raised white by a white family, but could never explain my ghetto booty... until low and behold my great grandfather 8 generations back was black. And I like me some collard greens and chitlins too. Um hmmm. Also, like me some black sausages too! Oh, forgot this is the non-explitic forum. My bad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

I don't think anyone making the non-gay argument is a bigot or has problems with the 'label', it's just not the correct label. My kids have special needs and I feel this issue keenly. I have no problem with people knowing what my kids' 'labels' because that's how their disabilities are best described. There are overlapping symptoms between different 'labels' (think ADHD and ASD) that may lead a person to think my child has a different label than the one diagnoses but that would be incorrect. In the same way, homosexual experience doesn't necessarily indicate sexual preference. "Gay" describes someone's preference, not their experience.

I am the PP you are responding to. I have a DC with SN, so I somewhat understand your analogy and I appreciate your measured reasoned response. But maybe you could help me with one piece of what you said because this thread has confused me. We hear all the time that LGBT are "born" that way - that is who they are. I have internalized that concept and whenever I had to defend my brother or advocated for friends, that was my lead arguement - that is who they are - it is a basic part of their identity and personality. My brother thinks that also. In this thread, I am reading words like "preference" which implies choice. That is why I am struggling with the whole concept. I hope no one jumps on me because I am really trying to understand. Isn't the concept that someone is "born" gay (and that is their being) in conflict with saying that "although I chose to have a few homosexual experiences, I am not gay?" Seems like it is a nature/nurture type dicussion. Hope I did not offend.