Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

[Anonymous]

I am a 30-something white guy. I would be disappointed if my kids brought home people who had world views very different from mine and my wife's (ie religious or conservative). Race would be secondary, but I would be skeptical of an AA boyfriend/girlfriend. I wouldn't say so, and the guy's/girl's personality would really determine my support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my AA son dated or married a white woman Id feel like I failed as a mother. He is in a majority white school though so on some level it is a recipe for disaster. I don't want him growing up believing that "white" is best. I also do not believe he would ever truly be accepted or respected by his in laws. Only tolerated.

White woman here with an AA brother-in-law. We love him. We loved him before we met him because my sister loved him, and we loved him even more once he joined our family in person and we got to know him ourselves. Let's make a deal: I won't assume that black folks are all uneducated with criminal tendencies, and you don't assume that all white folks are incapable of accepting and respecting you and yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my AA son dated or married a white woman Id feel like I failed as a mother. He is in a majority white school though so on some level it is a recipe for disaster. I don't want him growing up believing that "white" is best. I also do not believe he would ever truly be accepted or respected by his in laws. Only tolerated.

White woman here with an AA brother-in-law. We love him. We loved him before we met him because my sister loved him, and we loved him even more once he joined our family in person and we got to know him ourselves. Let's make a deal: I won't assume that black folks are all uneducated with criminal tendencies, and you don't assume that all white folks are incapable of accepting and respecting you and yours.

Wow...your defensive and insulting statement is actually quite off-putting. No where in the pp's post did she insult white people...why did you feel the need to do this re: black people? It just does to show that even "tolerant" folks are prejudiced one way or another. I feel sorry for your AA BIL..does he know you make inflammatory statements like this? I'm guessing no. Your post just proved why I would never want my black son marrying a white woman; you can keep your superficial acceptance because he's "one of the good ones".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the second AA mom and a NP. Though I wholeheartedly agree with the first AA mom poster. I didn't want to answer for her. My "failure as a mom" opinion is my own.

I'm the first AA Mom and I agree with your viewpoint as well. I also believe that my son will be tolerated, not truly accepted and I don't want him having to jump through hoops for acceptance.

Me three. I'm an AA mom and would also feel as a failure and that my son is rejecting me.

Because it's all about you? Wow... It seems like you're the one who wouldn't accept your son, and that's just sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my AA son dated or married a white woman Id feel like I failed as a mother. He is in a majority white school though so on some level it is a recipe for disaster. I don't want him growing up believing that "white" is best. I also do not believe he would ever truly be accepted or respected by his in laws. Only tolerated.

White woman here with an AA brother-in-law. We love him. We loved him before we met him because my sister loved him, and we loved him even more once he joined our family in person and we got to know him ourselves. Let's make a deal: I won't assume that black folks are all uneducated with criminal tendencies, and you don't assume that all white folks are incapable of accepting and respecting you and yours.

Wow...your defensive and insulting statement is actually quite off-putting. No where in the pp's post did she insult white people...why did you feel the need to do this re: black people? It just does to show that even "tolerant" folks are prejudiced one way or another. I feel sorry for your AA BIL..does he know you make inflammatory statements like this? I'm guessing no. Your post just proved why I would never want my black son marrying a white woman; you can keep your superficial acceptance because he's "one of the good ones".

Actually, the AA pp does insult white people in stating that white people, as inlaws, can't accept or respect her son. IMO, that's a pretty low opinion. Yes, there are one white people who are this way, but not all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the second AA mom and a NP. Though I wholeheartedly agree with the first AA mom poster. I didn't want to answer for her. My "failure as a mom" opinion is my own.

I'm the first AA Mom and I agree with your viewpoint as well. I also believe that my son will be tolerated, not truly accepted and I don't want him having to jump through hoops for acceptance.

Me three. I'm an AA mom and would also feel as a failure and that my son is rejecting me.

Because it's all about you? Wow... It seems like you're the one who wouldn't accept your son, and that's just sad.

The most racist things I've heard comes from AA.

[Anonymous]

I think the last 2 AA poster's represent the reverse racism which is alive and out of control with certain ghettos elements. I say ghetto because only a ghetto bitch would think that about the whites. (FYI if you don't think that you are not ghetto) . Just like I would call a women a white trash trailer bitch if she thought that her daughter or son marrying a black spouse was bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the last 2 AA poster's represent the reverse racism which is alive and out of control with certain ghettos elements. I say ghetto because only a ghetto bitch would think that about the whites. (FYI if you don't think that you are not ghetto) . Just like I would call a women a white trash trailer bitch if she thought that her daughter or son marrying a black spouse was bad.

I'm one of the black posters. A few things:

-There is no such thing as reverse racism. Racism is racism.
-None of the opinions expressed even remotely resembles racism. To start your education, go here: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism
-Immediately resorting to name-calling because of someone's opinion, actually makes you appear racist or at the very least prejudiced.
-What is a "ghetto element"?
-What is "white trash trailer"...Why the need to call it "white"...is the automatic default that trash is black?

So, yeah, your post did not to change my mind and in fact you re-enforced why I feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my AA son dated or married a white woman Id feel like I failed as a mother. He is in a majority white school though so on some level it is a recipe for disaster. I don't want him growing up believing that "white" is best. I also do not believe he would ever truly be accepted or respected by his in laws. Only tolerated.

White woman here with an AA brother-in-law. We love him. We loved him before we met him because my sister loved him, and we loved him even more once he joined our family in person and we got to know him ourselves. Let's make a deal: I won't assume that black folks are all uneducated with criminal tendencies, and you don't assume that all white folks are incapable of accepting and respecting you and yours.

Wow...your defensive and insulting statement is actually quite off-putting. No where in the pp's post did she insult white people...why did you feel the need to do this re: black people? It just does to show that even "tolerant" folks are prejudiced one way or another. I feel sorry for your AA BIL..does he know you make inflammatory statements like this? I'm guessing no. Your post just proved why I would never want my black son marrying a white woman; you can keep your superficial acceptance because he's "one of the good ones".

Yet it's ok for the AA pp to state that no white person can be truly accepting and respectful... merely tolerant. What do you think white people think of you, if not the above? We keep running into AAs who assume we must hold that or some similarly distasteful opinion. That we must see our family member as essentially different somehow, when in fact, it's the larger black community (like pp, not his own friends and family-- that we know of) who is pushing him out for having fallen in love with a white woman and become part of a white extended family. Who knows, perhaps his own mother sees his choices as a "failure", on her part, or his. She has enough manners not to say so, though. I hope pp will be blessed with similar restraint if her own son ever disappoints her by joining a family like mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the last 2 AA poster's represent the reverse racism which is alive and out of control with certain ghettos elements. I say ghetto because only a ghetto bitch would think that about the whites. (FYI if you don't think that you are not ghetto) . Just like I would call a women a white trash trailer bitch if she thought that her daughter or son marrying a black spouse was bad.

These 2 AA posters ruined the hot dads thread. I think using the ghetto term is harsh. But I believe you're just baiting these two, and I'm sure one if not both will respond in the next few minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you go asian you can do equation

LOL - I love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you go asian you can do equation

LOL - I love it

I've never heard this one before. Did you come up with it yourself? If so, just so you know, I'm stealing it. It'll be the next big tshirt craze, at least at MIT.

[Anonymous]

Wow..lol! I love DCUM but these responses confirm that my AA son should not date or marry a white woman.

The level of self righteousness from some members of the white majority is dangerous for him. But don't worry, when your daughter comes after my son, and she will, I hope to have educated him on this matter and it will be a non-issue because he won't be interested.

On a side note, I believe that AA men who marry white women have low self esteem. I try to make daily deposits in son's esteem bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the second AA mom and a NP. Though I wholeheartedly agree with the first AA mom poster. I didn't want to answer for her. My "failure as a mom" opinion is my own.

I'm the first AA Mom and I agree with your viewpoint as well. I also believe that my son will be tolerated, not truly accepted and I don't want him having to jump through hoops for acceptance.

Me three. I'm an AA mom and would also feel as a failure and that my son is rejecting me.

Because it's all about you? Wow... It seems like you're the one who wouldn't accept your son, and that's just sad.

The most racist things I've heard comes from AA.

I'm white, and I get it. But I'm from the DC area, actually a neighborhood with a lot of AA people, so I understand the logic/background. You obviously just don't get it, but nobody is asking you too. Just stop fronting like you are a "DC - Urban Mom" because you obviously are not. Just know you don't know.

"and if you don't know, now you know. . ."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow..lol! I love DCUM but these responses confirm that my AA son should not date or marry a white woman.

The level of self righteousness from some members of the white majority is dangerous for him. But don't worry, when your daughter comes after my son, and she will, I hope to have educated him on this matter and it will be a non-issue because he won't be interested.

You hope to have taught your son that all members of a certain race share certain characteristics and faults? Seems to me there's a word for that...