Did I act like a jerk in this situation?

[Anonymous]

PP here (10:50)-- I say this as someone who has flown pregnant many times with and without DH. In fact, on the way back home from our "babymoon" in Hawaii, DH and I parted ways at a layover so he could fly to a court hearing. I took his luggage back with me. I was 4 months pregnant. No big deal.

Yes, it is NICE to be able to sit with DH, but would I ask someone who had a better seat to switch? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

OK, but wouldn't it have been nice of the pregnant lady OP to have let the man have the extra leg room--in the seat he was assigned? It's not like the switch would have had no cost to him. If the seats were identical, yes, it would have been best for him to switch--then, the only cost was him moving, while the couple would have had 2 extra hours of togetherness. But this scenario asks the neighbor to sacrifice his comfort for...the comfort of another man. Not as compelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does being pregnant mean you need to sit next to your DH? How pregnant are you; if you aren't comfortable flying alone then perhaps you shouldn't be flying.

Can you articulate why you felt you needed to sit next to your husband anymore than any other married couple?

OP here. It was my first time flying pregnant, and I felt nervous - nervous about crashing, nervous about take-off and landing, hormones are going crazy when pregnant, etc.

I never said that I am more entitled to sit next to my DH than a regular married couple. I do not feel that way. And if the other two people in my row had been traveling together, regardless of marital status, age, etc., DH and I would not have asked someone to switch seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

OK, but wouldn't it have been nice of the pregnant lady OP to have let the man have the extra leg room--in the seat he was assigned? It's not like the switch would have had no cost to him. If the seats were identical, yes, it would have been best for him to switch--then, the only cost was him moving, while the couple would have had 2 extra hours of togetherness. But this scenario asks the neighbor to sacrifice his comfort for...the comfort of another man. Not as compelling.

Have you seen those 'extra legroom' seats? Seriously, it's like 2 inches. There is hardly any difference. It's not like it hugely impacts a person's comfort.

[Anonymous]

WTF?? I flew all over the country during my first pregnancy--Alaska, etc. to meet my consultant DH when he was workign out of town. I knew once kids started happening time was limited.

I don't get what her being 'pregnant' had to do with any of it. If you paid extra for your seat--tough. I will often move my seat so families can sit together...but if I am going to be moving to a middle seat stuck between two smelling obese people from a nice aisle seat on a cross-country flight I am not so sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does being pregnant mean you need to sit next to your DH? How pregnant are you; if you aren't comfortable flying alone then perhaps you shouldn't be flying.

Can you articulate why you felt you needed to sit next to your husband anymore than any other married couple?

OP here. It was my first time flying pregnant, and I felt nervous - nervous about crashing, nervous about take-off and landing, hormones are going crazy when pregnant, etc.

I never said that I am more entitled to sit next to my DH than a regular married couple. I do not feel that way. And if the other two people in my row had been traveling together, regardless of marital status, age, etc., DH and I would not have asked someone to switch seats.

Your husband has superpower to prevent plane crash and land the plane with mind control? wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF?? I flew all over the country during my first pregnancy--Alaska, etc. to meet my consultant DH when he was workign out of town. I knew once kids started happening time was limited.

I don't get what her being 'pregnant' had to do with any of it. If you paid extra for your seat--tough. I will often move my seat so families can sit together...but if I am going to be moving to a middle seat stuck between two smelling obese people from a nice aisle seat on a cross-country flight I am not so sure.

Btw-- I always give up my seat on Metro (even amtrak) to pregnant women and elderly people. This wasn't an instance where the pregnant lady didn't have a seat==or needed to be near a bathroom because she was suffering extreme vomiting/ms. This was for the 'dude'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does being pregnant mean you need to sit next to your DH? How pregnant are you; if you aren't comfortable flying alone then perhaps you shouldn't be flying.

Can you articulate why you felt you needed to sit next to your husband anymore than any other married couple?

OP here. It was my first time flying pregnant, and I felt nervous - nervous about crashing, nervous about take-off and landing, hormones are going crazy when pregnant, etc.

I never said that I am more entitled to sit next to my DH than a regular married couple. I do not feel that way. And if the other two people in my row had been traveling together, regardless of marital status, age, etc., DH and I would not have asked someone to switch seats.

Your husband has superpower to prevent plane crash and land the plane with mind control? wow.

Oh, jerk pp with the poor grasp of English - nice to see you again.

[Anonymous]

Look, OP, I am honestly not trying to be mean here, but you need to toughen up a bit. When you have the baby, there's going to be all kinds of things that are going to happen that will make you feel nervous that you may have to handle on your own - taking the baby to the doctor, staying alone with overnight from time to time. Rather than focusing on the other passenger's behavior, take this as an opportunity to personal growth and practice overcoming your fears.

[Anonymous]

The other thing OP is that if this was United Airlines (which has the economy plus seating), the flight attendants are usually VERY militant about preventing people from moving up to Economy Plus without either paying or having the elite status to get those seats. I've heard them making the announcements not to even try to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does being pregnant mean you need to sit next to your DH? How pregnant are you; if you aren't comfortable flying alone then perhaps you shouldn't be flying.

Can you articulate why you felt you needed to sit next to your husband anymore than any other married couple?

OP here. It was my first time flying pregnant, and I felt nervous - nervous about crashing, nervous about take-off and landing, hormones are going crazy when pregnant, etc.

I never said that I am more entitled to sit next to my DH than a regular married couple. I do not feel that way. And if the other two people in my row had been traveling together, regardless of marital status, age, etc., DH and I would not have asked someone to switch seats.

But is a "regular married couple" more entitled to sit together than the guy by himself is to sit in the seat he was assigned?

The classy thing for you to do would have been to just let it go. The guy was not being a jerk in declining your request.

[Anonymous]

What about what he did makes you think he's a jerk? That you didn't get what you wanted? That your preference didn't take precedence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In order to answer tge question many are aaking about whether I paid extra for the seat, i have to reveal that i was the pregnant lady in this scenario. I framed the post differently to avoid the nastiness and ridicule about me being nervous as a FTM on my first flight pregnant, and wanting to sit next to DH.
So, i dont know if the guy paid extra for the seat but I didn't -- i iust "lucked into it," as a PP said. So perhaps he did, too.

Also, as soon as we realized that we were not seated totether, we tried to change it at both check-in AND at the gate, and both times we were advised to just ask a fellow passenger to switch.

Obviously, i feel that the guy was not required to change seats, but that it would have been the classy and kind thing to do. I certainly would have done it if i had been asked.

Why didn't you get assigned seats when you bought the tickets?

NP here. There are a lot of angry and misinformed people posting on this thread. Like the OP, I'm pregnant. I also have one child. My family and I buy Economy Plus whenever possible - or I suppose I should say "bought Economy Plus" because I will do everything I can to avoid flying on United in the future.

To the PP above: please read the Travel forum of DCUM. You will see threads in which people complain about airlines reassigning seats. This happens all the time. I'm sure OP and her husband purchased seats together. My family and I purchase seats together. Airlines change planes assigned to specific flights, and you don't know about it until you go to check in and they've put you, your husband, and your child in three separate parts of the plane. In middle seats - so good luck getting passengers to switch. We recently had this happen to us when we had purchased Economy Plus in advance. They simply bumped us out of Economy Plus and separated the three of us in coach, in middle seats. It was an absolute nightmare to deal with. In the end the gate agent was able to put us all back into Economy Plus (there WERE seats left but United somehow had decided to bump us) and luckily DC was finally seated next to me. Husband was a couple of rows back.

OP, honestly, I'm not sure if I would have switched in your specific situation. If it had been your child you were separated from, I would have in a heartbeat as long as my own child was able to sit next to DH or me. I'm very sorry this happened to you. Please be aware that it can be even more unpleasant when you have a child. Airline travel has become almost unbearable, and purchasing seats together does not guarantee you will sit together, even if you have a small child.

And while I agree that there was a lot of nastiness in this thread, you should see the Travel forum thread in which many posters scream "special snowflake" and other lovely DCUM buzzwords at parents who were upset that their small children (like three-year-olds) were separated from them. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/250499.page

[Anonymous]

I remember being made to stand on metro from DC to Vienna when I was HUGELY pregnant and ill. Finally a little old lady said to me, "Dearie, I am getting off on the next stop if you want my seat". Not one able bodied adult offered me their seat. I always remember this and always go beyond the call to make accomodations for old people and pregnant ladies.

That said, I do not think OP has any basis to be unhappy with the man who refused to move. It's not like he made her stand in the aisle while he comfortably sat. Even as a former pregnant lady with medical problems, I wouldn't expect someone else to inconvenience themselves so I could sit near my husband. I think it was OK that she asked, and it was also OK that the man said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, OP, I am honestly not trying to be mean here, but you need to toughen up a bit. When you have the baby, there's going to be all kinds of things that are going to happen that will make you feel nervous that you may have to handle on your own - taking the baby to the doctor, staying alone with overnight from time to time. Rather than focusing on the other passenger's behavior, take this as an opportunity to personal growth and practice overcoming your fears.

Good advice, delivered very nicely.