Did I act like a jerk in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Okay, you most recent posters...you need to read and understand the whole thread before posting. The DH was in a row with a couple traveling together, so there was no chance of OP moving without separating a pair. OP and DH did book seats together, and did NOT pay extra for the premium seat. Somehow their seat assignments got messed up. They did ask for seats together, but the gate told them to just ask a passenger on the plane to switch.

Doesn't change a thing. They were turned down. Guy who turned them down was in the right. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was that important to sit together, his wife could have moved back. I'm sure the person I the husbands row would have swapped.

I would have said "no" as well. The leg room is important to me.

Exactly. If they really wanted to be together, I'm pretty sure the person in the husband's row would have been happy to take a seat with more leg room for free. Asking someone who paid for that to give it up is not cool, IMO, pregnant or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the comments. The woman moving back with her DH wasn't an option because that would have split up the two people sitting next to him, who were also traveling together.

So I assume you were traveling alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it was that important to sit together, his wife could have moved back. I'm sure the person I the husbands row would have swapped.

I would have said "no" as well. The leg room is important to me.

Exactly. If they really wanted to be together, I'm pretty sure the person in the husband's row would have been happy to take a seat with more leg room for free. Asking someone who paid for that to give it up is not cool, IMO, pregnant or not.

The DH was in a row with a couple traveling together, so there was no chance of OP moving without separating a pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'm 6'4", and I did not pay extra for an aisle seat. I switched, but I was kind of annoyed about it. Was I a sucker or a nice guy?

No, you're not a sucker, but you didn't have to switch, either. If Grandma has a disability the airline can handle it. On the other hand, she might have been a difficult seat companion; I loathe sitting next to people who tell me how frightened they are.

[Anonymous]

I would have switched seats and the fact that she is pregnant is irrelevant, but I also dread not sitting next to my husband on a plane. We try to plan ahead, but its not always possible with the way lots of airlines book seats these days. As a general rule if I cannot be assured that we are sitting next to each other I would rather wait to the next flight (even if I had to pay a fee).

I'm not afraid of flying, but I cannot bear the thought of knowing that the plane is going to crash and we are not together. I cannot bear the thought of someone else going through it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was on a flight recently. I was sitting in coach, in an aisle seat, in one of the rows with seats that have just a tad more leg room (they're called 'premium' or economy plus or something like that). A pregnant woman was sitting next to me. Turns out that her husband was a few rows back; for some reason they didn't have seats together. The husband, who was also in an aisle seat, said to me something like, 'excuse me, would you mind switching seats with me so that i can sit with my wife? this is her first flight pregnant.' I pointed to my legs and said apologetically, "this seat has extra leg room...." The husband said, 'oh okay' and went back to his seat. What do you think? Was it kind of jerky to me not to move? The flight was about 2 hours.

My DH pays extra on Southwest and sets an alarm to get online ASAP so that we get first crack at the emergency row seats, which have extra leg room. He would not relinquish those seats for a pregnant women or her concerned husband. Does that make him a jerk? Not in my book. But I have also been pregnant with twins and on a 6 hour flight with delays. She got through it fine and so did her husband. No harm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have chosen charity, the greater good, and you chose self over selflessness.

Next time you are faced with such a situation, try to push yourself to greater charity.

Do you drive a Prius with one of those "coexist" stickers on it?

HAAAAAA!! I drive a Prius with a coexist sticker and I wouldn't move. SHE should have moved to be with her husband.

[Anonymous]

NP here. If OP is talking about United, which I think is the only carrier that uses the term "economy plus," those extra few inches in legroom most definitely DO make a difference. Anyone who is claiming it is not a big deal to give up that seat is either a sock puppet or a little person. Generally you get these seats one of 2 ways: 1) you pay extra; or 2) you've earned status on the airline by giving them lots of business in the past. It's possible to luck into it if the flight is fully booked and not enough people fall into category 1 or 2, but I think this is the exception rather than the rule. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the gate attendant intentionally gave OP a better seat b/c she was pregnant. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

If there is a jerk in this situation, OP, it is decidedly you. You may be pregnant and I understand that that can be stressful, but you cannot begin to presume what is going on in someone else's head or life. Perhaps the man wants to stay in his seat as badly as you want your DH to move. Perhaps he has an illness that makes him extremely uncomfortable in cramped spaces. Or maybe he's a single dad who is trying to prepare for a very important meeting but he was up all night with a sick child and now he really just needs 2 hours of comfort to catch a few Zs. It doesn't matter. The point is that YOUR needs and YOUR pregnancy and YOUR anxiety do not take precedence over someone else's rights. This is especially true when you are talking about a condition (pregnancy with some anxiety about flying) that many many other people go through every day without expecting special accommodations.

You say you don't feel entitled to the seat but in fact you clearly do, if you are saying this man was somehow "un-classy" to not give it up. Personally I think it's pretty un-classy to judge this man when you don't know the first thing about him.

[Anonymous]

A note for those joining this post already in progress and may be confused:

The "OP" of this thread is actually the pregnant woman, NOT the person who refused to give up the seat. She deliberately posted as that person because .... I'm not sure why.

Ok, public service announcement is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you pay extra for the seat? Seems like no. I'd have switched. Then again, she could have moved back also.

So if you didn't pay extra - you could have been nicer.

Seems to me if she was sitting int he middle, she could have moved back to the husband's row and asked to swap with the middle-sitting person there, who probably would have been grateful for more leg room.

On the other hand, if she was huge, maybe SHE needed the extra space.

[Anonymous]

I may be one of the outliers but I'm going to say yes.

I would have switched. Its not a big deal, especially for such a short flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently was assigned an aisle seat on a cross-country flight. When I got to my seat, there was a college-aged girl sitting in it. I told her politely that I thought she was in my seat, and she asked if we could switch so she could sit next to her grandmother in the middle seat, who was scared of flying. She had a middle seat a few rows back. I'm 6'4", and I did not pay extra for an aisle seat. I switched, but I was kind of annoyed about it. Was I a sucker or a nice guy?

Yep!

[Anonymous]

People select seats for specific reasons. There might be issues affecting the person that aren't obvious when you meet them. I once switched my aisle seat with the person sitting next to me, a colleague. He's super tall, and needed to be able to stretch his legs out into the aisle. He was very grateful and I was glad we made the switch for his sake on that overnight flight. But I happen to be claustrophobic, and I'd misjudged the effect of being cramped into a window seat with an aisle blocked by the legs of a super tall person. I don't know what I'd do in a similar situation in the future. It's a hard call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When did you men become such delicate little flowers?

Men have been more fragile than women -- shorter-lived, for example -- ever since women quit dying in childbirth. For example, many middle-aged and older men have circulatory issues that make it dangerous for them to sit long in a cramped position.

Well then I suggest the world's men stfu and just let the women take over already.