Advantages of Having An Only

[Anonymous]

What is so hard for some of you to understand? Some of us simply do not want multiple children. It's no slant against your family, it's nothing personal. We just personally do not want 2-3 kids. You don't have to come here and convince us how great it is. For you, it probably is. For people who don't want it, it never will sound or seem wonderful, and we're simply not interested!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm taking my only to Europe this year. We do a lot of things together. My husband and I are going on a two week trip to India and my parents are watching my daughter.

I don't think grandparents would watch multiples, and many people with multiple kids can't afford those types of vacations.

Yes, i hear you. we are taking our only to Alaska. He is seven and has been to Canada, Ethiopia, Orlando Disney, Costa Rica, and in-country places. Because these places are on his parents itinerary, they are also on our onlies itinerary by the time he reaches twelve: china, hong kong, Senegal, Panama, Ghana, yellowstone, grand canyon and mount Rushmore. We would have neither the money or energy to do this with multiple children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During this heat wave I am so glad I don't have an only.

My 4.5 and 7 year old boys have been playing fantastically with no fights. They get long great. Older one said last night--I am soooo glad I have a brother.

We just returned from two vacations where they had each other to chase around the beach, etc.

Less work for mom and dad and they are never bored.

Are you learning impaired? What is the name of the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During this heat wave I am so glad I don't have an only.

My 4.5 and 7 year old boys have been playing fantastically with no fights. They get long great. Older one said last night--I am soooo glad I have a brother.

We just returned from two vacations where they had each other to chase around the beach, etc.

Less work for mom and dad and they are never bored.

Yes. Your kids play together while an only child goes to Europe. I see it now! I'm going to get started on my second right away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being parents of an only is a breeze, as is evident from the PPs. Being an only child certainly has its ups and downs. I'm the only one to deal with parents as they get older, help with their expenses and long term decisions, my kids don't have aunts, uncles or cousins on my side, I could go on and on.

I do wish I had siblings. Being an only has informed my decision that I want multiple kids.

I also worry about what would happen to my parents if something happened to me.

My husband is the middle child of three. With help from his mother, he handled all his father's arrangements when he died unexpectedly, heart attack. When his mother was diagnosed with a debilitating and terminal illness, it was my big strapping husband who nursed her. He took her to all her doctor's appointments, fed and bathed her. His trifling brother showed up at the funeral. And his selfish spoiled sister would fly in When she thought dear mom was at death door. It did not stop either one of them for taking their inheritance share. But they were no help. P,ease don't assume that siblings will be there for each other or you the parents. Life does not give us guarantees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awesome thread! I love having one for all the reasons already stated.

And aside from all the selfish reasons, I also think I'm doing something positive for the planet.

Well, maybe. But what the planet really needs are more people that the moms on this board would create: relatively affluent, intelligent, educated and curious. The kinds of people who will be able to think up solutions to an overpopulated planet. We need to reduce the population, but would make most sense by reducing population in impoverished, uneducated, overpopulated areas. Actually, the educated elite should be having MORE children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During this heat wave I am so glad I don't have an only.

My 4.5 and 7 year old boys have been playing fantastically with no fights. They get long great. Older one said last night--I am soooo glad I have a brother.

We just returned from two vacations where they had each other to chase around the beach, etc.

Less work for mom and dad and they are never bored.

Yes. Your kids play together while an only child goes to Europe. I see it now! I'm going to get started on my second right away!

Ummm----my kids go to Europe. They both had passports within a month of their births. It is a wild assumption to assume anyone with more than one kid cant' afford trips to Europe.

(Hush---they also have their college almost paid off and the youngest hasn't even started kindergarten.)

You know what else? If I ask them where they want to go on vacation---it isn't Europe---they'll take Legoland in the US anyday. Thankfully-- we have enough resources to do 'our trip' and 'their trip' each year.


ITs great to have a sibling at those 'boring' adult sight seeing trips in Europe.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 and love them all to death. But I lament that I spend more time doing things FOR my children than WITH my children. My first was an only for 5 years and I know the difference. I don't really spend much time doing things with my children anymore, but spend TONS of time cooking, cleaning up, driving, watching plays, watching sports, watching recitals, going to dr, dentist appts, buying, washing, sorting and purging outgrown clothes, managing toys, planning and executing birthday parties, hosting play dates, volunteering for school/activity events, etc. This is what fills my time. The amount of time spent curled up on the sofa watching a movie or reading a book or playing a game or making a craft? Very, very minimal compared to the time spent doing the other stuff. And even when I manage to start to do somthing like this, it is too often interrupted by needing to go/do something FOR another child or they start arguing or whatever... I do feel that having one allows you to really enjoy being WITH your child, which is really why all of us became parents, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During this heat wave I am so glad I don't have an only.

My 4.5 and 7 year old boys have been playing fantastically with no fights. They get long great. Older one said last night--I am soooo glad I have a brother.

We just returned from two vacations where they had each other to chase around the beach, etc.

Less work for mom and dad and they are never bored.

Yes. Your kids play together while an only child goes to Europe. I see it now! I'm going to get started on my second right away!

Ummm----my kids go to Europe. They both had passports within a month of their births. It is a wild assumption to assume anyone with more than one kid cant' afford trips to Europe.

(Hush---they also have their college almost paid off and the youngest hasn't even started kindergarten.)

You know what else? If I ask them where they want to go on vacation---it isn't Europe---they'll take Legoland in the US anyday. Thankfully-- we have enough resources to do 'our trip' and 'their trip' each year.


ITs great to have a sibling at those 'boring' adult sight seeing trips in Europe.

Honey, we get it. You love having multiple children AND you're wealthy. Good for you! But not relevant to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being parents of an only is a breeze, as is evident from the PPs. Being an only child certainly has its ups and downs. I'm the only one to deal with parents as they get older, help with their expenses and long term decisions, my kids don't have aunts, uncles or cousins on my side, I could go on and on.

I do wish I had siblings. Being an only has informed my decision that I want multiple kids.

I also worry about what would happen to my parents if something happened to me.

My husband is the middle child of three. With help from his mother, he handled all his father's arrangements when he died unexpectedly, heart attack. When his mother was diagnosed with a debilitating and terminal illness, it was my big strapping husband who nursed her. He took her to all her doctor's appointments, fed and bathed her. His trifling brother showed up at the funeral. And his selfish spoiled sister would fly in When she thought dear mom was at death door. It did not stop either one of them for taking their inheritance share. But they were no help. P,ease don't assume that siblings will be there for each other or you the parents. Life does not give us guarantees.

Well, not having siblings certainly does guarantee that you won't have siblings that COULD be friends and COULD help out.

[Anonymous]

I love having an only as I physically feel getting less and less dependent on my jerk of a husband! Yay! I fathom the idea of getting a divorce some day, or having a completely separate life!

[Anonymous]

always a good fight on this forum

in this case, SUCH stupidity

Here's my story. Read and learn.

As an only, we lived at the beach. We had a condo on the ocean, and a home on the bay my father built. We traveled to Europe, up and down the East Coast, to Canada, to the island, and to California. I attended private school. For special events, we shopped at Saks. I had my own condo at 24 and my own townhouse at 28.

As the mother of two, we rarely vacation, as private school tuition eats up quite a bit of change. Our current home is nice - older - but it is in this condition b/c my husband is handy. So he renovated/updated parts of the house himself. I work. (My mother did but that's b/c we had a family business. So she could take off whenever she wanted!) We are moving to an area with better public schools b/c we won't be able to afford private high for our kids. I drive a car that's 7 years old, and when we buy our next one, it will be used. Again, my husband, who's handy, does all the maintenance. With one, we could do more obviously. I don't, however, regret having a second, as it was our choice to do so.

But we do make sacrifices - some of us more than others. And considering how I was raised, it's been a tad bit hard for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child asks me why she doesn't have a sibling, I'm going to say, "We're happy with our family the way it is." Which is the core truth, regardless of any adult concerns about having enough resources, whether financial or emotional.

Just tell her you stopped at perfection!

Fool-proof approach: pick a kid she can't stand (classmate, cousin, neighbor, bully, etc.), and tell her that kid could have been her sibling; that we don't get to choose siblings personalities; and no one can guarantee she'd get the dream sibling she's probably fantasizing about; and that's it's irreversible: once the sibling appears, there's no return policy.

Works like a charm. Kids would rather be onlies than stuck for life with someone they can't stand.

Ha. I love this. Will have to try to remember this for the next few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:always a good fight on this forum

in this case, SUCH stupidity

Here's my story. Read and learn.

As an only, we lived at the beach. We had a condo on the ocean, and a home on the bay my father built. We traveled to Europe, up and down the East Coast, to Canada, to the island, and to California. I attended private school. For special events, we shopped at Saks. I had my own condo at 24 and my own townhouse at 28.

As the mother of two, we rarely vacation, as private school tuition eats up quite a bit of change. Our current home is nice - older - but it is in this condition b/c my husband is handy. So he renovated/updated parts of the house himself. I work. (My mother did but that's b/c we had a family business. So she could take off whenever she wanted!) We are moving to an area with better public schools b/c we won't be able to afford private high for our kids. I drive a car that's 7 years old, and when we buy our next one, it will be used. Again, my husband, who's handy, does all the maintenance. With one, we could do more obviously. I don't, however, regret having a second, as it was our choice to do so.

But we do make sacrifices - some of us more than others. And considering how I was raised, it's been a tad bit hard for me!

Sucks for you, Princess. I grew up the youngest of 3. Middle Class. I was taught the value of hard work---as was my DH who came from even more modest means. We were taught 'brands', 'materialism', etc mean nothing. They are just 'things'. Now DH and I have extremely lucrative careers and more $ than we know what to do with--but we refuse to raise our kids in a manner that you describe. Gifts are confined to Christmans and Birthdays. Kids do chores. Our only real extravangances are vacations and whole foods. We purposely chose a strong public school district so as not to surround our kids with private school crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:always a good fight on this forum

in this case, SUCH stupidity

Here's my story. Read and learn.

As an only, we lived at the beach. We had a condo on the ocean, and a home on the bay my father built. We traveled to Europe, up and down the East Coast, to Canada, to the island, and to California. I attended private school. For special events, we shopped at Saks. I had my own condo at 24 and my own townhouse at 28.

As the mother of two, we rarely vacation, as private school tuition eats up quite a bit of change. Our current home is nice - older - but it is in this condition b/c my husband is handy. So he renovated/updated parts of the house himself. I work. (My mother did but that's b/c we had a family business. So she could take off whenever she wanted!) We are moving to an area with better public schools b/c we won't be able to afford private high for our kids. I drive a car that's 7 years old, and when we buy our next one, it will be used. Again, my husband, who's handy, does all the maintenance. With one, we could do more obviously. I don't, however, regret having a second, as it was our choice to do so.

But we do make sacrifices - some of us more than others. And considering how I was raised, it's been a tad bit hard for me!

Sucks for you, Princess. I grew up the youngest of 3. Middle Class. I was taught the value of hard work---as was my DH who came from even more modest means. We were taught 'brands', 'materialism', etc mean nothing. They are just 'things'. Now DH and I have extremely lucrative careers and more $ than we know what to do with--but we refuse to raise our kids in a manner that you describe. Gifts are confined to Christmans and Birthdays. Kids do chores. Our only real extravangances are vacations and whole foods. We purposely chose a strong public school district so as not to surround our kids with private school crowd.

You are boring