Advantages of Having An Only

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Mom of two, but insanely jealous of those with one. I adore both of my children, but they spend so much time fighting, and I spend so much time just DEALING with them, that I'm hardly getting a chance to ENJOY them. My friend with just one is always out doing fun stuff with her daughter - art shows and dance classes and whatnot. I don't regret my second child but desperately regret having two.

really?

Jealous?

I'm an only, and I love the chaos that comes with two kids! One moment they're fighting, and the next they're best friends.

I had a great childhood and being an only does teach you to enjoy your own company! But I was also raised around tons of cousins. So that gave me the balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom of an only. I'm pretty sure I can manage to save for ONE kid's college education. I am positive I couldn't do it for two.

+1

[Anonymous]

Here's why I love having an only:
I can give him my undivided love and attention and not feel the least bit guilty that I'm taking time away from someone else.

We can all travel without it being cost prohibitive.

We have enough money to afford dinners out and vacations, private school if necessary. This would not be the case if we had two.

We don't have to constantly mediate disputes over toys. We do a lot of playdates with neighborhood kids, and I hate dealing with this aspect.

We can sign him up for any classes etc. that he is interested in without worrying about time/money.

Our house is the perfect size for two adults and a kid.

[Anonymous]

I come from a big family, but we grew up in an idyllic setting, and neither parent had a full time job (dad prof, mom sah & volunteered/political activist). My life is so very different - stopping at one is the only way to have kids and have my own life. So at root, it is about me - but I'm ok with that, I don't think sibs determine anything in the abstract.

[Anonymous]

We live downtown and when we go out as three, I feel like the perfect family. My daughter is exploring the city and my husband and I are seeing everything as new. I feel like another child would be too much. Instead of fun outtings - we would be chasing two toddlers (or a baby and a toddler).

Three is JUST RIGHT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an only. My mom was oldest of 4, dad the oldest of 9 so they were very worried that I would be "spoiled" and they wanted that full-of-kids house feeling. They ended up being the fun parents and would invite everyone over all the time. I used to come home and there would be someone's sister playing in my yard.

They always had me invite a friend when we went to dinner or away on trips (which made their lives easier too). It was great. I feel like I never was lonely and that our house was very kid-centric, despite being an only.

I love this. This is the type of dynamic I'm trying to create for my son.

Me too for my daughter. And it gives me hope that I can do it and DD will thrive. (I so want a second but my DH does not.)

[Anonymous]

A lot of the moms I know are now on their second babies, too -- either just had them or are pregnant. I feel no jealousy at all. I do think that it's the case that some women have a second and realize how horrible it is so they try to convince everyone else it's great/necessary to have another one. Ha -- can't fool me! I love having one!

[Anonymous]

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2002530,00.html

[Anonymous]

Awesome thread! I love having one for all the reasons already stated.

And aside from all the selfish reasons, I also think I'm doing something positive for the planet.

[Anonymous]

Agreed - it's just so easy now. My DD is 4 and she is wonderful. We travel, we explore....just love it. No drama, no crying (although I'm sure it'll come back again!).

Her friends love coming to our house (she loves it too), so there are usually lots of kids around.

It's perfect, for me.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for this thread. I needed it. Like the above poster I don't know that a second is in the cards for us either and I've been worried/sad about it.

[Anonymous]

A lot of it is my personality.

My one child has a happy, relaxed, attentive mother.

If I had had two or more, the kids likely would have had an irritable, stressed, annoyed, sour-faced mom for much of their lives.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I'm happy to hear a lot of you like this thread. It's uplifting for me, too!

[Anonymous]

Me too. Thank you OP for posting this. We also have an only and I'm very close to my sibling, and always wanted another. For us, it's infertility that's preventing us from a second (and money for treatments or adoption). I often get sad and jealous of the families with more than one kid.

This is a great reminder to me to "be grateful for what you have" and count my blessings. I'm able to read through this and focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

A couple (that have already been mentioned) but quality one-on-one time with a parent while simultaneously giving other parent a "free time" to do what he/she wants.

When DS is invited to a birthday party, one of us takes him while the other one gets time to do whatever they want (for me it's mani/pedi).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is my personality.

My one child has a happy, relaxed, attentive mother.

If I had had two or more, the kids likely would have had an irritable, stressed, annoyed, sour-faced mom for much of their lives.

I have 3 and I agree with this -- I am often irritable, stressed, annoyed, and sour-faced. I always longed for a big family but the truth is that I don't really have the personality for dealing with that much chaos and conflict. Definitely don't regret my kids, we have a LOT of good times too, and we are planning on one more so we don't mind the annoyances *that* much, BUT I am sometimes jealous of my friend who has only one. They get to do a lot of stuff that is either impossible or cost prohibitive for a larger family.