No help with #2... Now what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should have thought about this before she had another baby. .

I second this one
And I guess I saw a very similar thread on here a couple years ago...about a mother who was denied a visa and the OP of that thread was so sorry for herself (which is understandable) and so angry at the consular officers (which is less understandable).
And then, OP of this thread mentioned that her mother was denied the visa when her first was born...so why did she hope she wouldn't be refused again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have thought about this before she had another baby. .

I second this one
And I guess I saw a very similar thread on here a couple years ago...about a mother who was denied a visa and the OP of that thread was so sorry for herself (which is understandable) and so angry at the consular officers (which is less understandable).
And then, OP of this thread mentioned that her mother was denied the visa when her first was born...so why did she hope she wouldn't be refused again?

You can be denied a Visa, then reapply and be given one later. It does happen often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have thought about this before she had another baby. .

I second this one
And I guess I saw a very similar thread on here a couple years ago...about a mother who was denied a visa and the OP of that thread was so sorry for herself (which is understandable) and so angry at the consular officers (which is less understandable).
And then, OP of this thread mentioned that her mother was denied the visa when her first was born...so why did she hope she wouldn't be refused again?

Yes, I'm the OP of that thread and here too.

So if you get NO as an answer you'll never try anything again, ever?

At least this time around the consular agent was nice and very respectful to my mom... she talked to my mom in private using the cabin phone instead of yelling from the cabin microphone and said she was sorry. Unlikely the other agent who mocked my mom on her face.

Anyway, the "hope" comes from the fact that you're allowed to apply as many times as you wish, you just have to keep paying every time you want to try again. I had several friends getting married, having kids or just inviting relatives over for leisure and tourism, and it's kind of funny to watch them all getting to finally get a visa after trying 4 or 5 times... It's like they know we'll keep paying and trying so they just keep denying to make us pay more and more... very frustrating...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be fine.

When I had my second child, my oldest was 21 months. Husband was in the military and had to deploy when second child was 2 weeks. So you are already better off than I was by one week. He was was gone 6 months. How many months will your husband be gone before he will get to come home again? If less than six months, you have it easy!

I had no "mothers helper". I had no cleaning lady. I did it all my self. And we were not in an area where there was "peapod" or other grocery delivery. Honestly, your situation sounds like a piece of cake.

Too bad I'm not you, right? You sound so awesome, do you want a badge?

I'm not looking for a badge, just pointing out that your situation really isn't so bad. You're title is very misleading because you actually DO have help. Quite a bit, actually. Your husband will be home 3 out of 7 days, you have a cleaning crew, and you have a mother's helper which you indicate will come over at least twice a week. That means you have help at least 6 out of 7 days a week--a far cry from "no help."

[Anonymous]

Oh wow........ You again?!!!! I totally remember that thread too... Hahahahaha!!!!! I guess you didn't whine enough last time!! That thread was EPIC!!

Yeah seriously please don't have a 3rd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have thought about this before she had another baby. .

I second this one
And I guess I saw a very similar thread on here a couple years ago...about a mother who was denied a visa and the OP of that thread was so sorry for herself (which is understandable) and so angry at the consular officers (which is less understandable).
And then, OP of this thread mentioned that her mother was denied the visa when her first was born...so why did she hope she wouldn't be refused again?

You can be denied a Visa, then reapply and be given one later. It does happen often.

Actually, if you're refused a visitor visa once, it's very likely to be refused again unless something dramatically changed in the applicant's situation. It's all about proving why you are definitely returning to your own country once your visa is up. If OP's mother can't prove that, they'll keep rejecting her visa application.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow........ You again?!!!! I totally remember that thread too... Hahahahaha!!!!! I guess you didn't whine enough last time!! That thread was EPIC!!

Yeah seriously please don't have a 3rd.

Wow! you're disgusting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have thought about this before she had another baby. .

I second this one
And I guess I saw a very similar thread on here a couple years ago...about a mother who was denied a visa and the OP of that thread was so sorry for herself (which is understandable) and so angry at the consular officers (which is less understandable).
And then, OP of this thread mentioned that her mother was denied the visa when her first was born...so why did she hope she wouldn't be refused again?

You can be denied a Visa, then reapply and be given one later. It does happen often.

Actually, if you're refused a visitor visa once, it's very likely to be refused again unless something dramatically changed in the applicant's situation. It's all about proving why you are definitely returning to your own country once your visa is up. If OP's mother can't prove that, they'll keep rejecting her visa application.

OP here. My friend was getting married and her mom tried 4 times in a period of 35 days and she got it on the 4th try.
Same thing happened to another friend but she wanted her mom here to be with the kids for a surgery. Again, after trying for the 4th time she got it. I wonder how much is luck, how much is the mood of the agent and how much is about real regulations...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you can't handle one kid, why did you have two? And why do you have no friends here? Why don't you just go back to wherever you came from since you seem unwilling to become part of society?

Not the OP, but what a horrible, nasty shrew you are. Go crawl back into your hole now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH only took one week off for DC#2. DC#1 was in daycare so it was really not an issue. Can you try to find a part-time nanny share for the older child or hire a mother's helper? You should post at the career center at your local college. I have a friend who did this with great success.

OP here.

We do have a mother's helper. She'll come during the witching hour (after school for her, 4-7pm for us) to take DC1 to the park, feed DC dinner and eventually give DC a bath.

Right now she comes once a week - that's when I deep clean the house. It works well, I talked to her and she's willing to come 4 days a week when DC2 comes along.

I'll give the pre-school some thought. I didn't want to start now or around the due date because it will be a lot of transition for DC1 to go through. We're also potty training so there's some changes happening already. This is all so overwhelming... I was so sure my mom would get her visa this time around

I don't feel any sympathy for you. There is no way that you can care for a baby and also feed/bath your other child? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH only took one week off for DC#2. DC#1 was in daycare so it was really not an issue. Can you try to find a part-time nanny share for the older child or hire a mother's helper? You should post at the career center at your local college. I have a friend who did this with great success.

OP here.

We do have a mother's helper. She'll come during the witching hour (after school for her, 4-7pm for us) to take DC1 to the park, feed DC dinner and eventually give DC a bath.

Right now she comes once a week - that's when I deep clean the house. It works well, I talked to her and she's willing to come 4 days a week when DC2 comes along.

I'll give the pre-school some thought. I didn't want to start now or around the due date because it will be a lot of transition for DC1 to go through. We're also potty training so there's some changes happening already. This is all so overwhelming... I was so sure my mom would get her visa this time around

I don't feel any sympathy for you. There is no way that you can care for a baby and also feed/bath your other child? Come on.

So, you're welcome to go respond to another thread. I was asking for HELP. If you can't help what are you doing here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

You sound like a wretched person and a terrible nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

And then you go home. Moms never get to leave.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime principle applies to having children. If you can't take care of them, don't have them. Simple.

Since when is asking for ideas equate to not being able to "take care of them"? I hope you never have to ask for help in any form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

Oh shut up!

OP here. I'm a former nanny and you're a bitch. I've cared for multiples along with older siblings but I never had to cook, clean, feed them and be on the clock 24/7. My charges never had sibling jealousy and I was not recovering from a C-section while carrying for them. I didn't have to do groceries, pay bills, take them to constant doctors appointments and the best part of all is that I could go HOME after I was done with them.

You're a horrible excuse of a human being and I hope your bosses don't find out. Poor children!

Sounds like you were a pretty shitty nanny if you can't even handle your own kids after all that experience. You have anger issues too, lady.

[b]WTH are you talking about? Have you tried dealing with your charges 24/7 while breastfeeding and recovering from major abdominal surgery with no break? Yeah, I didn't think so.


Uhhhhhhh the husband is home for 4 weeks... Besides, this lady sounds too high maintenance to breastfeed.

Right because asking for help means that you are high maintenance. I wonder who all these perfect moms are who do everything with no help, advice, or assistance from anyone, ever. Somehow I doubt that they really exist.

[Anonymous]

Wonder if OP is the author of the jealous sister thread... She sounds nuts. No wonder no one wants to help you!!!!! I'm happy you have no help, you don't deserve any.