No help with #2... Now what?

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, guys... it helps me to feel better knowing we're on the right path. I started looking at preschool options and there's a nice small one walking distance from our home, I think it would be great for DC2 to have a few hours of time with kids his age while I spend time with the baby and the walk might help with distracting all of us.

I really appreciate your words... my mom is traveling back home from the capital today and I'll call her tonight to talk a bit. The poor thing was devastated when I called yesterday. I hope she's feeling better today. *sigh*

[Anonymous]

DVDs for the toddler. Co-sleep with the infant this time around.

[Anonymous]

We bought a great play kitchen for DD#2, age 26mo. It arrived in her room the night I went into labor from 'baby sister'. Then we had a closet of presents for DD#1 to occupy her during those first few days. It worked wonderfully! Totally kept Dd#1 occupied--and she is really high energy and can be difficult.

[Anonymous]

You will be fine.

When I had my second child, my oldest was 21 months. Husband was in the military and had to deploy when second child was 2 weeks. So you are already better off than I was by one week. He was was gone 6 months. How many months will your husband be gone before he will get to come home again? If less than six months, you have it easy!

I had no "mothers helper". I had no cleaning lady. I did it all my self. And we were not in an area where there was "peapod" or other grocery delivery. Honestly, your situation sounds like a piece of cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get that you're upset about your mother's visa issues, but it is true that it's not really that challenging to manage two kids without help. That's kind of what having two kids is all about! My mother was sick when my first child was born and had died by the time I had my second, so I didn't have much help either time. My husband stayed home 2 weeks the first time around and probably 2 days the second time around. My older child stayed in daycare, which helped a ton, but I was doing all the cooking etc, and we managed just fine. We could have paid for other help but I never really understood the point if you're trying to BF. The keys for me were just simple meals, cleaning service, low expectations for everything. Good luck.

Yes it is challenging having two small kids with no help. You cannot relate to that because your oldest child was in daycare...that's help.

Op if you have a mothers helper you'll be fine. Tired, but fine. I'm sorry that your mother won't be able to visit.


Signed,

2 Kids- 20 months apart, No nanny, babysitter, daycare, family, or anything else.

[Anonymous]

my sister just had her 3rd baby - no help at all, and she went into labour really sick (on antibiotics) with the first two with fevers at home....it's been 7days but she's surving and she doesn't have the cleaning lady/mothers helper etc like you do! i think you'll survive!!!

[Anonymous]

You will be fine! It is overwhelming before you have the child. Once the baby comes it is much easier than you thought.

[Anonymous]

OP, I posted earlier, but just wanted to chime in to say that at least in our case, by the time the baby was 2.5 months things really settled down. Toddler is mostly accustomed to baby (even if not happy about her a lot of the time) and you get into a routine. The hardest parts for me was the first month when I was up every 2 horus breastfeeding/recovering from c-section and then I had no energy to deal with toddler who needed a lot---attention, trips, etc. I just.wanted.to.sleep. and instead had a toddler freaking out because I had a baby hanging off my breast all the time. He would try to push her off me and start wailing and throwing stuff. However, this period passed and now things are much more routine.

to the very unsympathetic posters--it's not helpful. She's going to be an essentially single mom to two young kids for 4 days/nights every week, with no break from the kids at all. She's away from her husband and her mom. Yes, other people have done it on their own too---although I wonder how many of the posters saying they had "no help" really were entirely on their own--no partner--for most of the week, every week, starting 3 weeks PP with #2. Yes, its do=able, but tiring and hard.

[Anonymous]

This thread is bumming me out. There sure are a lot of dick women out here. Sorry so many of you raised your kids with no help, but fuck, maybe you didn't have any help because you're assholes and nobody wanted to help you.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

[Anonymous]

* twice a week... *grocery shopping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you can't handle one kid, why did you have two? And why do you have no friends here? Why don't you just go back to wherever you came from since you seem unwilling to become part of society?

What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bumming me out. There sure are a lot of dick women out here. Sorry so many of you raised your kids with no help, but fuck, maybe you didn't have any help because you're assholes and nobody wanted to help you.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

When has anyone asked a nanny to recover from childbirth, care for/nurse a newborn, sleep with a newborn, mind a toddler, and cook and clean? DO people keep their surrogates on to breastfeed and raise kids, too? It's not a phenomenon I'm aware of. You sound like you are totally lacking in compassion - what a horrific nanny you must be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Women seem to have no problem expecting a nanny to do this. We manage just fine... You sound like a drama queen. I work 60 hrs a week with infant twins and also sleep over twice a night, plus do the brochure and housekeeping. Get a grip, lady.

And then you go home. Moms never get to leave.