Do you really want hand-me-down baby clothes from a friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm of the opinion that accepting and wanting hand me downs for your children is a very American thing. One American friend of mine brought over a huge bag of hand me downs to her Indian friend's home. The Indian friend, who was from an affluent family, was completely offended, got angry with my American friend, and told her, "Pick up that bag of old clothes and get it out of my house." My American friend left sobbing. I think lots of people who don't accept hand me downs are people from certain cultures where that's frowned upon.

It must be DCUM, there's someone else bashing and making generalizations about Indian people. Give it up, bitch.

I have to agree with this. I'm married to a SA guy. They have something against used stuff.

I'm Indian and my kid wears all hand me downs, so take your "they" and shove it up your @$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you're not going to use them, then please don't take them and donate them, that's AWFUL. That's terrible - I'm sure people have other friends that would happily take them.

Why one earth would you say donating baby clothes is awful??

I can afford to buy my kids' clothes as can all my friends and siblings. If your circle is also financially sound, why would you not want your nicer quality or gently worn baby clothes to go to someone who is poor or who really would benefit from not having to buy nice baby clothes?

You sound like my mother in law.

Unfortunately your reading comprehension is off--re-read the pp's post. She is saying don't take them if you are just going to donate them, as the friend who is giving them to you could give them to someone else who would use them.

I read it.

She was very clear that she thinks it is awful to donate the clothes to needy strangers. She sounded horrified by the very idea.

I guess the nice clothes are for her kind of people and the poors can get the torn and dirty clothes.

I took it as PP saying don't take the clothes if you have no intention of using them as the donor could have other friends or family that can use them. The sad truth is when you donate them to goodwill you involve a middle man and people still purchase the clothes. Rarely does it go to a needy family for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love hand-me-downs if they are without condition. If I feel like I'm going to need to remember what came from whom and give it back, it's more stressful than it's worth. So if you offer them and say, just pass on or donate whatever you don't want or when you are done--awesome. If you say, I'd love to lend you some of my favorite baby outfits--no thanks.

Yeah, I have a couple incidences now where friends have "loaned" me things. Although the way she put it was, "before you give it away, give us the right of first refusal." Which for a baby swing is easy enough, for clothes trickier, although she said she doesn't expect the same clothes back, just that if they decide to have a second maybe they'd get some other clothes/gear in kind. It's a bit confusing because who knows, we could end up having second kids at the same time! But I definitely appreciate getting second hand stuff, this couple in particular had a preemie so they have a bunch of little clothes so I don't feel like I need to get any newborn sizes now.

[Anonymous]

At first I accepted hand me downs, but then I stopped because children's clothes are not that expensive, the clothes people were handing me were worn out and not my taste, and the emotionality was too much -- people felt like these clothes had so much meaning. So, I just bought them new and then resold them. Some of the clothes were pretty worn out once they had been washed all those times ...

[Anonymous]

I did consign things from Target and carters. I brought three bags to the consignment shop and they were sold out the next day. I had bought things with coupons from dept stores and they were not expensive also. They were in excellent condition. (I asked them at the store and they said, sure!") So I got back about 30%.

[Anonymous]

I am picky about clothing but also don't want to spend a fortune since they outgrow everything so quickly. I think I'd probably LOVE them if it was cute stuff but there's a lot of hideous stuff out there too that I know I'd never use.

I've had some luck on Ebay though it can be cost prohibitive with shipping costs. I haven't been to the consignment store yet. I don't care if someone else's kid wore it, that's what a washing machine is for.

[Anonymous]

I asked my ex husband if he wanted our son's outgrown clothes to go to his stepson. His wife really seemed happy to get them.

A military friend just told me about Schoola. You send in the handmedowns, and the organization sells the clothes on its website. A portion of the sale goes to the school of your choice. I'm going to try it

[Anonymous]

I'm feel so fortunate that DS is the 7th grandchild on DH's side (5 of whom are also boys) so we've gotten all the family hand me downs and have hardly had to buy anything so far! Some of it's a little worse for wear but most is totally useable.

[Anonymous]

If you have any doubt, OP, there are plenty of charities for people in true need of hand-me-downs. Affluent-to-affluent hand-me-downs serve very little public good.

Signed,
an arguably affluent mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm of the opinion that accepting and wanting hand me downs for your children is a very American thing. One American friend of mine brought over a huge bag of hand me downs to her Indian friend's home. The Indian friend, who was from an affluent family, was completely offended, got angry with my American friend, and told her, "Pick up that bag of old clothes and get it out of my house." My American friend left sobbing. I think lots of people who don't accept hand me downs are people from certain cultures where that's frowned upon.

It must be DCUM, there's someone else bashing and making generalizations about Indian people. Give it up, bitch.

I have to agree with this. I'm married to a SA guy. They have something against used stuff.

Sorry sweetie, I'm South Asian, too, and and am all for hand me downs. Hell, half of what I had growing up was hand me downs. Maybe your husband is just rich and snobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my ex husband if he wanted our son's outgrown clothes to go to his stepson. His wife really seemed happy to get them.

A military friend just told me about Schoola. You send in the handmedowns, and the organization sells the clothes on its website. A portion of the sale goes to the school of your choice. I'm going to try it

That's really generous of you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did consign things from Target and carters. I brought three bags to the consignment shop and they were sold out the next day. I had bought things with coupons from dept stores and they were not expensive also. They were in excellent condition. (I asked them at the store and they said, sure!") So I got back about 30%.

Do you mind sharing what store, if you are local?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I took hand me downs and just weeded out anything we didn't want (stained clothes, clothes with holes, things that were sized weirdly) and donated those.

+1. Same here. Though my friend gave me a huge bag of used any clothes and say to bring whatever that I didn't pick back to her. I thought it was strange since she's done with having kids and no one in her family or close friends are having kids. But I will honor that!

Please don't donate stained or torn clothing.

Why not? If it's not good enough to give away/sell in a thrift store, then it gets sold to a textile recycler who will sell it to someone to stuff car seats or for other purposes. I'd rather this happen, than the clothes be stuck in a landfill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you're not going to use them, then please don't take them and donate them, that's AWFUL. That's terrible - I'm sure people have other friends that would happily take them.

Why one earth would you say donating baby clothes is awful??

I can afford to buy my kids' clothes as can all my friends and siblings. If your circle is also financially sound, why would you not want your nicer quality or gently worn baby clothes to go to someone who is poor or who really would benefit from not having to buy nice baby clothes?

You sound like my mother in law.

Unfortunately your reading comprehension is off--re-read the pp's post. She is saying don't take them if you are just going to donate them, as the friend who is giving them to you could give them to someone else who would use them.

I read it.

She was very clear that she thinks it is awful to donate the clothes to needy strangers. She sounded horrified by the very idea.

I guess the nice clothes are for her kind of people and the poors can get the torn and dirty clothes.

I took it as PP saying don't take the clothes if you have no intention of using them as the donor could have other friends or family that can use them. The sad truth is when you donate them to goodwill you involve a middle man and people still purchase the clothes. Rarely does it go to a needy family for free.

I am the PP you are arguing over and this (bolded) is clearly what I meant. I'm not sure how the other PP interpreted it in any other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm of the opinion that accepting and wanting hand me downs for your children is a very American thing. One American friend of mine brought over a huge bag of hand me downs to her Indian friend's home. The Indian friend, who was from an affluent family, was completely offended, got angry with my American friend, and told her, "Pick up that bag of old clothes and get it out of my house." My American friend left sobbing. I think lots of people who don't accept hand me downs are people from certain cultures where that's frowned upon.

It must be DCUM, there's someone else bashing and making generalizations about Indian people. Give it up, bitch.

I have to agree with this. I'm married to a SA guy. They have something against used stuff.

I'm Indian and my kid wears all hand me downs, so take your "they" and shove it up your @$$.

+1 Hell - all of my kid's Indian clothes have been through four cousins before her.