Do you really want hand-me-down baby clothes from a friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked to learn how many people do hand me downs. Maybe because I'm one of the first of my friends to have a baby, but no one has offered me any. Probably for the best, though. I'm kinda picky about his clothes -- I like him to look cute (in my eyes) at all times and a lot of times gifts from others just don't make the cut. I end up donating pretty much all clothes I didn't pick out myself.

I was in the same boat as the above poster. I felt left out of the whole hand me down thing once he got older and we saw other friends children getting hand-me-downs but not I wanted the clothes. I felt like no one was ever thinking of my kids. It was a silly thought of mine because in reality we had no close friends or family that had a son that they could have shared clothes with us.

I've also always enjoyed buying them what they look good in but I do (at times) get a little bummed that I have to buy everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you accept the fact that some people just don't want hand-me-downs? THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION ON THOSE WHO WANT THEM. This has NOTHING to do with those who want them. This is how WE FEEL. We don't demand that you justify why you want hand-me-downs. Why do we have to justify our feelings to you?

My guess is it's because someone referred to hand me downs as "taking leftovers" which doesn't exactly have a nice, neutral conotation. It does reek of some form of "better than you" judgement by someone with a closet full of full-price Janie & Jack.

I prefer to have my DD in new clothes. I think I posted on a thread a while back that I grew up in a family that wasn't poor, but certainly wasn't rich. Going to school at a fairly wealthy high school, I did have self esteem issues that my clothes were from the Marshalls of the world while my classmates had name-brand clothes. It's silly, but generally I do like her in new clothes.

That being said, I've gladly accepted hand-me-downs and then culled out the pieces that I love the best, that aren't too worn. I've also found great deals on eBay on clothes that are new or have been worn once. So, I make exceptions to my own general preference. I love people who like hand me downs since I hate to think that I pay for nice clothes and then they have nowhere to go.

Was your DD in daycare or with nanny? It's harder to keep clothes nice when DC is in daycare. At our house, nice clothes are reserved for weekends and special occasions.

I'm the PP, and DD is in daycare. It is harder to be really on top of stains and spills since I care about not ruining them. She has her share of Carter's and OshKosh but also a lot of gymboree and hanna andersson. Not high end clothing, but definitely nicer than Target brands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, people who only like new clothing, do you guys have little girls or little boys? I have a 3 year old son, and while I have purhased him some cute baby gap stuff in addition to target, I'm always happy to take hand me downs of any sort. He's super hard on clothes, is always getting dirty, and often wipes his nose on his sleeve. I like him to look good as much as the next mom, but it only seems to last 15 minutes or so after I get him dressed in the morning.

I have two girls. I'm expecting a thrid, if it's a boy, I'll get new clothes for him too, but less Hanna Anderson & moe Target (he'll also wear some of the gender neutral stuff his sisters wore.) The girls get higher end clothes because they both have to wear them so they must last longer (but there is some Target, Carters, etc mixed in there as well.

As far a a carbon footprint goes, someone has to do the initial buying, right? After the kids are done, off to goodwill go the kids clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, people who only like new clothing, do you guys have little girls or little boys? I have a 3 year old son, and while I have purhased him some cute baby gap stuff in addition to target, I'm always happy to take hand me downs of any sort. He's super hard on clothes, is always getting dirty, and often wipes his nose on his sleeve. I like him to look good as much as the next mom, but it only seems to last 15 minutes or so after I get him dressed in the morning.

I have a girl, but all kids are hard on clothes, which is the primary reason I don't like hand me downs. I don't wear used clothes from a second hand store myself and theres very little chance anyone previously wearing those had a poopsplosion or use the sleeves as a tissue. I dont like the thought of my kid wearing clothes that some kid previously had a ton of accidents in. And after washing each item of my daughter's every week, they tend to look quite worn after a while (god knows how they look after 2 or 3 kids). And add to that the fact that 90% of American girl clothes are not my taste (with all their sparkles and pink and purple and frills and unicorns), and I would be hard pressed to be excited to receive hand me downs. For the record, my daughter is in daycare all day 5 days a week, and I am not rich, but I am good at getting jcrew crewcuts, Ralph Lauren, gap, petit bateau, and other nicer brands for target prices. You just have to be smart about shopping, and stock up during the big sales etc.

[Anonymous]

I love hand-me-downs if they're in good condition. I don't want stained things, but other than that, they're great! I got some wonderful things this way.

When I give hand-me-downs, I make a point of saying that they should keep whatever they like and donate whatever they don't want, no hard feelings either way!

[Anonymous]

I love getting hand me downs! Why pay for all that stuff? Sure, there are always some duds included, but most of what we've gotten is totally useable. We just buy a few super cute outfits per size and are done. Money saved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, giving left overs is really not a big deal. One exception may be new moms who want everything to be just right. But, she will soon get over that. Just tell her to pass it on to another family if she does not want them. So she feels no obligation.

My SIL gave me a big batch of used baby stuff when my DD was born. I thought it looked like junk. But I end up using some and other wise it would not have occurred to me to buy them. Also saved tons of money. BRU & BBB are not cheap.

There are other (cheaper) places to buy baby clothes than BRU and BBB. I don't think I've ever bought Carters clothes from those stores. The Carters store, Kohls, or even Macys, always have constant coupons, so I never end up paying full price for any baby clothes that I buy. I can usually get them pretty cheap from these stores. You can also get great stuff from Gap Kids on their 30% off sales.

[Anonymous]

not for my first kid. I enjoyed buying my own stuff and shopping for baby. If someone had given me a big bag of stuff I would have felt like I needed to uses it and felt gulty for buying more clothing.

I also can't stand when things start to look worn so if the hand me downs had been through the ringer then no I would not want them.

A friend recently gave my sister a bag of bibs. They were all in terrible shape and overly used. I think people give stuff like this away so they don't feel guilty for tossing them.

That said I love hand me down/previousy used big items like swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer adn so forth.

[Anonymous]

Hell, do you have boy clothes or girl clothes? If she doesn't want them, can I call dibs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

Yes, because the things that you buy at Target -- made in sweatshops in India and China and spending weeks packed in container ships to get to the Target warehouse -- are so much more sanitary.

[Anonymous]

I'm of the opinion that accepting and wanting hand me downs for your children is a very American thing. One American friend of mine brought over a huge bag of hand me downs to her Indian friend's home. The Indian friend, who was from an affluent family, was completely offended, got angry with my American friend, and told her, "Pick up that bag of old clothes and get it out of my house." My American friend left sobbing. I think lots of people who don't accept hand me downs are people from certain cultures where that's frowned upon.

[Anonymous]

I have a six-month-old daughter and aside from one "dressier" outfit, I have not yet bought her a single item of clothing. My girlfriends all have boxes of stuff and let me sort through and pull out what I want. Nothing is dirty or stained or ripped. It's all name-brand stuff that we wouldn't be able to have otherwise. We live on a tight budget and are trying to set aside a bit of money each month for college. I love seeing cute brand new things in the stores but I have to ask myself if it really is worth the tradeoff. For our family, it's not and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As I'm sorting through their stuff I put the initial of their last name on the tag (takes 1 second) and I'm incredibly grateful to be lucky enought to have such wonderful friends. They always offer and on occassion when I need something specific, I don't feel bad asking and they are always great to look for it. For our older DS we have bought some stuff new and have given them to our friends with instructions that they should pass them on when they are finished since we're not having any more kids. We all shared maternity clothes too. Maternity suits and work clothes cost a ridiculous amount of money to be worn for such a short time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love getting hand me downs! Why pay for all that stuff? Sure, there are always some duds included, but most of what we've gotten is totally useable. We just buy a few super cute outfits per size and are done. Money saved!

This - exactly.

[Anonymous]

How about people who expect the hand-me-downs back after your kid has outgrown them? I'd rather avoid the whole shebang.

Besides, I like buying clothes for my kids. My kids new clothes will one day clothe those less fortunate (or more frugal).

[Anonymous]

Yes I take hand me down my baby where size 9 to 12 months