Do you really want hand-me-down baby clothes from a friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love hand me downs, but I have no problem politely saying that I was all set with clothes if I don't need or want them.

I am the poster that said she hates hand me downs. Would the person feel offended if I didn't accept the clothes?

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked to learn how many people do hand me downs. Maybe because I'm one of the first of my friends to have a baby, but no one has offered me any. Probably for the best, though. I'm kinda picky about his clothes -- I like him to look cute (in my eyes) at all times and a lot of times gifts from others just don't make the cut. I end up donating pretty much all clothes I didn't pick out myself.

[Anonymous]

I love hand-me-downs, but would not be at all offended if someone turned them down. Please, PP who hates them, don't worry about saying no---if your friend is like me she'll offer them to the next friend, who might adore them! I do the same thing another PP said---offer with the caveat that I know they may already be set, so they have an easy out if they don't want them.

But personally---our son wears 90% hand-me-downs (which doesn't mean I keep everything I get, but I probably keep half of it) and I LOVE that we are able to spend that money on things that might not otherwise be as accessible for us as a family. He flies through sizes anyway, so it's a perfect solution. I do take some hand-me-downs that are in good shape but not our style to consignment shops where they give credit---and then pick out things that are missing from his wardrobe or more to my taste.

[Anonymous]

Hand-me-downs are great. My kids have always worn mostly hand-me-downs or secondhand clothes from consignment stores and sales. And they look cute in whatever they wear!

[Anonymous]

Not a fan. We only got hand me downs from one family and they said that they were going to donate but offered to us first, so we just went ahead and donated them. I have very specific taste when it comes to baby clothes, and the things I don't like are things that others seem to really like-animals, trucks, frilly things for girls, etc.. And yes, I like name brands but I shop sales to get them. I've even considered selling DS's clothes and buying new for future children. Perhaps it's because I got a lot of hand me downs growing up, but I don't see anything wrong with each child getting their own clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love hand me downs, but I have no problem politely saying that I was all set with clothes if I don't need or want them.

I am the poster that said she hates hand me downs. Would the person feel offended if I didn't accept the clothes?

I really don't think so. There are tons of reasons why a person wouldn't want hand me downs (already have clothes, love to shop, in my case-a grandma with an over buying habit). I offer to be friendly, but I would never be offended if someone said now. And I'm just as happy to give the clothes to a women's shelter as to a friend.

[Anonymous]

If your friend is anything like me it never occured to me to get second hand anything for my first, a girl. I now have our second, a voy, and he literally hasn't received anything new and even wears his sister's PJs to bed....once I realized that we could not sustain the cost of new clothes for both kids all the ti e I stopped buying anything new....and all the stuff I have came from good friends who are so happy their stuff is going tomgood use!

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with receiving hand me downs for my third child, who is a different gender. I know how quickly these babies grow, and they can only fit into most clothes for around 3 months or so! I would not have felt this way with my first child, but by the third I am more practical.

[Anonymous]

I loved hand me downs (both from a cost saving perspective and from an environmental perspective) but would also prefer to not have to keep track of who to return them too.

I've passed a few things on and I always say "please pass them on or donate them if you can't use them" and I would never feel offended if someone turned down my offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the input. The clothes are in great to excellent condition. My DCs are only 2.5 and 9 months, so the clothes aren't that old, and are not worn out. I did tell her that I would not expect the clothes returned to me. Hmm...I don't know if I should follow up and say something like what a PP suggested ("if you have enough or are overwhelmed with other hand-me-downs, just let me know and I'll donate them instead"), or just not say anything....and if she wanted the clothes, maybe she would bring it up again.

I think that 99% of parents out there are very happy to get hand-me-downs, especially ones in excellent condition. I know when I was pregnant, there were people who I thought might have hand-me-downs for me but they felt awkward offering them and I felt awkward asking.

I wouldn't wait for her to bring it up again. She might figure that you forgot or gave them to someone else and if she does want them, she probaby feels too awkward to ask you for them (especially since you're not that close and if she thinks she'll be putting you on the spot if you don't have the clothes for her anymore). I would go the route you mentioned from a PP of offering them one more time, but giving her an out so she has an easy way to politely decline your offer if she's not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

It's not like it's a complete stranger though, it's your friend's child? And they are babies! And you wash them! This is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

It's not like it's a complete stranger though, it's your friend's child? And they are babies! And you wash them! This is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

(NP) so what if you know where they are coming from. I agree, I prefer buying clothing for my kids to hand-me-downs. But I have of course passed clothes from my oldest dd to my youngest--because I picked the clothes. I like my kids to look good.

We can accept that you want to accept leftovers from others; no need to say it's "silly" for us not to feel the same as you do.

[Anonymous]

You offered if she really wants them she will follow through

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

It's not like it's a complete stranger though, it's your friend's child? And they are babies! And you wash them! This is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

(NP) so what if you know where they are coming from. I agree, I prefer buying clothing for my kids to hand-me-downs. But I have of course passed clothes from my oldest dd to my youngest--because I picked the clothes. I like my kids to look good.

We can accept that you want to accept leftovers from others; no need to say it's "silly" for us not to feel the same as you do.

This board is so depressing - I should have been a lawyer and married a lawyer, and then I would have enough money to buy baby gap and designer clothes for my children. Instead I get by on hand me downs and GASP! department store clothes. My kids must be dressed so fugly compared to yours, PP. You probably wouldn't want to me my friend because my kids are dressed so poorly.

[Anonymous]

Some of you act like ALL hand-me-downs are ugly. Can't you mix and match the best of the donated stuff with some of the things you purchased to make your "cute" outfits?

I appreciate anything given or donated. Like other PPs I also wouldn't want conditions imposed or a "loan." Life is too stressful as it is to keep those kind of records.