How would you react to a stranger shooshing your child at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

So your 3 yr old never raised his voice in public? Never had an "over excited" moment? Never tried to engage strangers in social interaction (even if he did it in an inappropriate way?) Why do you characterize this boy as running wild? He was loud several times, but running wild?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

So your 3 yr old never raised his voice in public? Never had an "over excited" moment? Never tried to engage strangers in social interaction (even if he did it in an inappropriate way?) Why do you characterize this boy as running wild? He was loud several times, but running wild?

I don't blame other people's responses to my child's behavior. chuckie cheese? yes, birthday parties, yes. restaurant with people trying to enjoy their christmas eve breakfast in peace? no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The crying at age 3 over "Sh" is odd. Is there something wrong with the kid?

Troll, STFU. Sorry, I don't usually get snarky on here, but I've had enough of these cruel and ridiculous posts. OP, please ignore the posters who are clearly trying to get a rise out of you and everybody (and I guess it's working). To call your child a "monkey" and "brat" for acting like a typical happy, friendly three year old in IHOP? Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

Mommy, why do you hate us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

So your 3 yr old never raised his voice in public? Never had an "over excited" moment? Never tried to engage strangers in social interaction (even if he did it in an inappropriate way?) Why do you characterize this boy as running wild? He was loud several times, but running wild?

I don't blame other people's responses to my child's behavior. chuckie cheese? yes, birthday parties, yes. restaurant with people trying to enjoy their christmas eve breakfast in peace? no.

LOL - it was an IHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which I would more liken to Chuckie Cheese than a "restaurant with people trying to enjoy their christmas eve breakfast in peace."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit, my kid wasn't sitting perfectly quiet, but this was a very noisy place and he would occassionally get loud. Each time, we told him to be quiet and he would be good for a while, but he's three and so we have typical toddler issues (in addition to my 15 months old stealing some attention). Anyway, this was 9 am, busy IHOP type place on a Friday, tons of other kids and noise, etc. My DS turned around and loudly yelled "hi" to the older couple behind him and they "shooshed" him in such an exaggerated way that he started crying. DH and I were kind of at a loss for what to do. Actually, DH was pretty angry and got into it with them a little bit, and I was just shocked at the whole situation. My son is super friendly and social and I think he was shocked that his enthusiastic greeting was so abruptly shut down.

Has that happened to you? How would you have reacted? DS was pretty upset and I went over to him and gave him a hug and said "people don't like it when you're loud so they shooshed you, but it's alright. Let's just have our pancakes."

the child didn't "say" hi....per the OP - LOUDLY YELLED "hi". big difference.

OP here again. When I said we have typical toddler issues I mean he will be told to use a softer voice but will forget after a while and get loud again, at which point he will be reminded again. Maybe i could be doing a better job reigning him in, but I was definitely actively trying. He only addressed those people once. Quit making it sound like he was in their face all breakfast. Anyway, I'm not saying they had no right to be upset, just that they were over the top mean to my child. I wish that they would have relayed their comments to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

So your 3 yr old never raised his voice in public? Never had an "over excited" moment? Never tried to engage strangers in social interaction (even if he did it in an inappropriate way?) Why do you characterize this boy as running wild? He was loud several times, but running wild?

I don't blame other people's responses to my child's behavior. chuckie cheese? yes, birthday parties, yes. restaurant with people trying to enjoy their christmas eve breakfast in peace? no.

Ooo. Now I feel sorry for you, if you think that IHOP is a "restaurant" no wonder you keep your kids chained up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit, my kid wasn't sitting perfectly quiet, but this was a very noisy place and he would occassionally get loud. Each time, we told him to be quiet and he would be good for a while, but he's three and so we have typical toddler issues (in addition to my 15 months old stealing some attention). Anyway, this was 9 am, busy IHOP type place on a Friday, tons of other kids and noise, etc. My DS turned around and loudly yelled "hi" to the older couple behind him and they "shooshed" him in such an exaggerated way that he started crying. DH and I were kind of at a loss for what to do. Actually, DH was pretty angry and got into it with them a little bit, and I was just shocked at the whole situation. My son is super friendly and social and I think he was shocked that his enthusiastic greeting was so abruptly shut down.

Has that happened to you? How would you have reacted? DS was pretty upset and I went over to him and gave him a hug and said "people don't like it when you're loud so they shooshed you, but it's alright. Let's just have our pancakes."

the child didn't "say" hi....per the OP - LOUDLY YELLED "hi". big difference.

OP here again. When I said we have typical toddler issues I mean he will be told to use a softer voice but will forget after a while and get loud again, at which point he will be reminded again. Maybe i could be doing a better job reigning him in, but I was definitely actively trying. He only addressed those people once. Quit making it sound like he was in their face all breakfast. Anyway, I'm not saying they had no right to be upset, just that they were over the top mean to my child. I wish that they would have relayed their comments to me.

ooooh. now i get it. it should have gone something like this:

Ma'am/Sir, will you please take a break from filling your face & please refrain your dearest child from interrupting my breakfast? i most sincerely appreciate it. thank you ever so much. have a wonderful and blessed holiday season. in fact, let me pick up your tab, while i'm at it. Meerrrry Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crying at age 3 over "Sh" is odd. Is there something wrong with the kid?

Troll, STFU. Sorry, I don't usually get snarky on here, but I've had enough of these cruel and ridiculous posts. OP, please ignore the posters who are clearly trying to get a rise out of you and everybody (and I guess it's working). To call your child a "monkey" and "brat" for acting like a typical happy, friendly three year old in IHOP? Unbelievable.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Or I have one - how about they show some self restraint as adults and just ignored the antics of a three year old? How 'bout that one? Or, don't venture out in public if they are so easily offended? How 'bout they STFU and leave the family alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you handled it correctly. My 3yo son loves to engage people and 99 percent of the time, they love to chat with him. Occasionally there are grumps who hate happy people (adults or children) and live in their tiny insulated bubble. Perhaps they were just perfect little people as children.

Are these really the only two possibilities: love to chat with your 3yo or hate happy people? How about: having a bad day and don't want to chat with a 3yo? Or: having an important conversation with your SO/friend/child and don't want to be interrupted to chat with a 3yo? Or: love 3yo's but I have one at home who chats constantly and I just want to read the paper right now?

If your 3yo says hi to me I will say hi back (not scream at him) but I may not want to chat with him right now. That doesn't make me a grump or living in a bubble; it just means that YOUR child is not at the center of MY world.

AMEN!

Ditto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, did the scenario play out exactly how you describe it, or are you leaving out other key elements? If things happened just as you said and all your kid did was say hi rather enthusiastically, then I would agree that the other people overreacted, esp. in an IHOP.

However, if there were other annoyances that you didn't mention, then their reaction would be more understandable (not saying they would be in the right or wrong, just that it would be easier to see where they're coming from). Did your child spend most of the meal kicking their seats, or hanging over the sides into their booth, or doing any number of things that could've pushed them over the edge?

Absolutely not. At no time prior to that did he invade their space. They weren't even directly behind, kind of at a diagonal behind them. He did make noise at our booth a couple times - like a spontaneous loud word or something but we had him be quiet right away. He never got up from his seat. He never even looked at them before. Maybe they could hear them throughout their meal but it was so noisy anyway that I don't see how his occasional loud noises would be any different. Maybe they were and I am sorry that they were bothered but my gut was that they were wrong to be repromancing him. Especially since we were trying to keep him behaved the whole time.

I never thought people here would have such strong opinions on how terribly ill-mannered my family is. Thanks for everyone's input though. Well except the posters who were calling my son names while hypocritically criticizing OUR manners.

OP, I'm the poster of this question to you and I realized after that it might've sounded like I was accusing you of not telling the whole story. I wasn't- I just was wondering if there was more going on behind the scenes than perhaps even you were aware of. Anyway, since your child wasn't doing anything else to them, I definitely would've been surprised at their reaction. I have a baby and a 2.5 year old so I understand how kids are. The only time I would say something to a child is if they were invading my space somehow- like the kicking or whatnot, but I would direct it to the parents, not to a 3 year old.

I know you must've been in shock, but I don't think DH should've gotten into it with them. I think you handled it perfectly though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or I have one - how about they show some self restraint as adults and just ignored the antics of a three year old? How 'bout that one? Or, don't venture out in public if they are so easily offended? How 'bout they STFU and leave the family alone?

My first thought as well. But based on the reactions in this thread, I think some people would have been upset their adorable child was being ignored by the grumpy old people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit, my kid wasn't sitting perfectly quiet, but this was a very noisy place and he would occassionally get loud. Each time, we told him to be quiet and he would be good for a while, but he's three and so we have typical toddler issues (in addition to my 15 months old stealing some attention). Anyway, this was 9 am, busy IHOP type place on a Friday, tons of other kids and noise, etc. My DS turned around and loudly yelled "hi" to the older couple behind him and they "shooshed" him in such an exaggerated way that he started crying. DH and I were kind of at a loss for what to do. Actually, DH was pretty angry and got into it with them a little bit, and I was just shocked at the whole situation. My son is super friendly and social and I think he was shocked that his enthusiastic greeting was so abruptly shut down.

Has that happened to you? How would you have reacted? DS was pretty upset and I went over to him and gave him a hug and said "people don't like it when you're loud so they shooshed you, but it's alright. Let's just have our pancakes."

the child didn't "say" hi....per the OP - LOUDLY YELLED "hi". big difference.

OP here again. When I said we have typical toddler issues I mean he will be told to use a softer voice but will forget after a while and get loud again, at which point he will be reminded again. Maybe i could be doing a better job reigning him in, but I was definitely actively trying. He only addressed those people once. Quit making it sound like he was in their face all breakfast. Anyway, I'm not saying they had no right to be upset, just that they were over the top mean to my child. I wish that they would have relayed their comments to me.

ooooh. now i get it. it should have gone something like this:

Ma'am/Sir, will you please take a break from filling your face & please refrain your dearest child from interrupting my breakfast? i most sincerely appreciate it. thank you ever so much. have a wonderful and blessed holiday season. in fact, let me pick up your tab, while i'm at it. Meerrrry Christmas!

Somebody needs a hug. Bad. You poor, poor thing.

[Anonymous]

13:08 you're a piece of work! You must be a miserable human being and I feel bad for your children. You have done nothing but rake spiteful aim at my wonderful 3 YEAR OLD by calling him names and belittling my parenting. So to you, my response would have gone something like this "I appreciate your horror and disgust at a bright sunny hello of my child, but if you even look in his direction again, I will personally shove this plate of pancakes up your tired old nasty miserable ass. Merry Christmas to you too bitch." I feel sorry fir you well mannered children. I wouldn't be surprised if they are will contribute to the "worst thing my parents ever said to me thread" in a few years.