How would you react to a stranger shooshing your child at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Well I think your child probably learned a valuable lesson - I think he would be less likely to bother other diners when eating out now that he was so thoroughly traumatized by the reaction of the couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The crying at age 3 over "Sh" is odd. Is there something wrong with the kid?

Would you be asking this question if the child were a 3-year-old girl and not a 3-year-old boy? Sorry, some of us actually do have sons with feelings. They still like trucks, Star Wars, and roughhousing, but they have feelings, too.

Regardless, you are a moron to ask whether a 3-year-old child has something "wrong" with him/her when a perfect stranger is nasty to him/her in response to his/her saying "hi." Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

Really? Saying hi is "running wild"?? I have to say your post made me laugh out loud. What's next?! SMILING?!? Put that child in a time out until he's in college!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

i'm with the OP all the way. sounds like totally normal toddler behavior in a venue that is family-friendly... i think OP acted totally appropriately.

over the wknd at the botanical gardens, my 2 yr old was looking at a flashcard-type display that was at her level, where the child can pick up a flashcard and see what's beneath - then, if they let go, the card falls back down and makes a banging noise. again, note that these cards are at a TWO YEAR OLD's level. an older woman came up to my husband and said "that noise she's making is annoying" and my husband responded with "this is the area for children to play. i think you can handle the noise"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i'm with the OP all the way. sounds like totally normal toddler behavior in a venue that is family-friendly... i think OP acted totally appropriately.

over the wknd at the botanical gardens, my 2 yr old was looking at a flashcard-type display that was at her level, where the child can pick up a flashcard and see what's beneath - then, if they let go, the card falls back down and makes a banging noise. again, note that these cards are at a TWO YEAR OLD's level. an older woman came up to my husband and said "that noise she's making is annoying" and my husband responded with "this is the area for children to play. i think you can handle the noise"

Yay. Shee-it. No wonder old people are lonely. They can't stand to be around anybody.

[Anonymous]

A 3 year old isn't a "toddler." Assuming that the kid didn't turn 3 yesterday, he's 3 and change.

Unless there's a developmental delay in play, we rightly expect a little more from 3-4 year olds than we do from 18 mo. old "toddlers" who "toddle."

Doesn't make the couple's reaction right or wrong, but quit calling a 3+ year old a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! HA! Phew. OK, that seriously cracked me up. Three. Years. Old. I'm sorry, you sound like a total tyrant. This three year old child wasn't running wild. At no time did OP say he was running wild. He was eating at a family friendly restaurant. But please by all means, suck the life out of your incredibly well behaved children. No one's going to stop you.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all six pages of responses, but could it have been that the older couple heard you trying get your son to be quiet and thought they were helping you by reinforcing your message? They may have miss calculated how strongly their message would be received. I know if I’m in a similar situation and I’ve overheard the parents telling their kids to be quiet, or not to run around, if the kid interacts with me, say runs into me or talks to me in a load voice, I try to parrot back what their parents have been telling them. I think kids take a message from a stranger as having a lot more weight than just hearing it over and over from their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit, my kid wasn't sitting perfectly quiet, but this was a very noisy place and he would occassionally get loud. Each time, we told him to be quiet and he would be good for a while, but he's three and so we have typical toddler issues (in addition to my 15 months old stealing some attention). Anyway, this was 9 am, busy IHOP type place on a Friday, tons of other kids and noise, etc. My DS turned around and loudly yelled "hi" to the older couple behind him and they "shooshed" him in such an exaggerated way that he started crying. DH and I were kind of at a loss for what to do. Actually, DH was pretty angry and got into it with them a little bit, and I was just shocked at the whole situation. My son is super friendly and social and I think he was shocked that his enthusiastic greeting was so abruptly shut down.

Has that happened to you? How would you have reacted? DS was pretty upset and I went over to him and gave him a hug and said "people don't like it when you're loud so they shooshed you, but it's alright. Let's just have our pancakes."

the child didn't "say" hi....per the OP - LOUDLY YELLED "hi". big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all six pages of responses, but could it have been that the older couple heard you trying get your son to be quiet and thought they were helping you by reinforcing your message? They may have miss calculated how strongly their message would be received. I know if I’m in a similar situation and I’ve overheard the parents telling their kids to be quiet, or not to run around, if the kid interacts with me, say runs into me or talks to me in a load voice, I try to parrot back what their parents have been telling them. I think kids take a message from a stranger as having a lot more weight than just hearing it over and over from their parents.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you handled it correctly. My 3yo son loves to engage people and 99 percent of the time, they love to chat with him. Occasionally there are grumps who hate happy people (adults or children) and live in their tiny insulated bubble. Perhaps they were just perfect little people as children.

Are these really the only two possibilities: love to chat with your 3yo or hate happy people? How about: having a bad day and don't want to chat with a 3yo? Or: having an important conversation with your SO/friend/child and don't want to be interrupted to chat with a 3yo? Or: love 3yo's but I have one at home who chats constantly and I just want to read the paper right now?

If your 3yo says hi to me I will say hi back (not scream at him) but I may not want to chat with him right now. That doesn't make me a grump or living in a bubble; it just means that YOUR child is not at the center of MY world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you handled it correctly. My 3yo son loves to engage people and 99 percent of the time, they love to chat with him. Occasionally there are grumps who hate happy people (adults or children) and live in their tiny insulated bubble. Perhaps they were just perfect little people as children.

Are these really the only two possibilities: love to chat with your 3yo or hate happy people? How about: having a bad day and don't want to chat with a 3yo? Or: having an important conversation with your SO/friend/child and don't want to be interrupted to chat with a 3yo? Or: love 3yo's but I have one at home who chats constantly and I just want to read the paper right now?

If your 3yo says hi to me I will say hi back (not scream at him) but I may not want to chat with him right now. That doesn't make me a grump or living in a bubble; it just means that YOUR child is not at the center of MY world.

AMEN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seriously is freaking me out how many people think a 3 year old has bad manners for saying "hi" in a loud voice.

I hope you don't live in my area, because I don't want your kids in my school.

because they will be better behaved and outshine your brats?

I'm sure your 3 year old is always a model of perfect behavior. Get over yourself.

She doesn't have kids. I'd bet money on it.

Incorrect. I teach my children to have manners at home and then when we are out, they know how to behave & what is expected of them. I don't just let them run wild and expect others to deal with them. I also make sure they are well rested, I don't take them out when they are cranky/tired/whiny/sick, etc.

I still don't believe you really have children. Either that - or I plan to see the following in about 15 years "Help, I've raised a serial killer. Anyone have advice?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all six pages of responses, but could it have been that the older couple heard you trying get your son to be quiet and thought they were helping you by reinforcing your message? They may have miss calculated how strongly their message would be received. I know if I’m in a similar situation and I’ve overheard the parents telling their kids to be quiet, or not to run around, if the kid interacts with me, say runs into me or talks to me in a load voice, I try to parrot back what their parents have been telling them. I think kids take a message from a stranger as having a lot more weight than just hearing it over and over from their parents.

Bingo!

They could have been polite about it, though.