How would you react to a stranger shooshing your child at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is shocking that everyone is coming down so hard on OP. This is a child we're talking about here, in a family-friendly restaurant, having a nice time and being happy about pancakes. How in the world has this degenerated into their lack of parenting skills because some old farts were mean to their son? To all of you PPs, have your children never made a peep in a restaurant?! What is the matter with you people to be so obnoxiously judgmental? Do me a favor and wear a sign around your neck so when I encounter you in a restaurant I know that it's perfectly acceptable to talk to your kid in whatever way I deem appropriate.

I haven't posted yet, but I simply don't believe the OP that her child was merely loud once or twice, and turned around and just said hi. Perhaps it's the dramatic way she characterizes the other couple's actions - an exaggerated shush = being mean? Please. And her repeated, "but I WAS dealing with it!!" Umm - apparently not very well.

I may be completely wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if her child was misbehaving more and was louder than she has let on, that her efforts to quiet him were less than strenuous and/or unsuccessful, and the other couple's reaction was less vehement than she indicated.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say something, but if your child yelled at me I would be pretty irritated. I'm usually pretty chatty with kids if they behave, but yelling is always rude.
Sure the old people could have dealt better with it, but they probably did with their own kids.
Even if ihop is not a fancy restaurant, but it is a restaurant where kids should behave.
Do you teach your kids that ihop is ok to scream, but not at other places. I think kids should always have manners, even at wendy's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say something, but if your child yelled at me I would be pretty irritated. I'm usually pretty chatty with kids if they behave, but yelling is always rude.
Sure the old people could have dealt better with it, but they probably did with their own kids.
Even if ihop is not a fancy restaurant, but it is a restaurant where kids should behave.
Do you teach your kids that ihop is ok to scream, but not at other places. I think kids should always have manners, even at wendy's.

Look out, PP. you do not appreciate her Sunny Hello from her WONDERFUL three year old child. "She may just personally shove this plate of pancakes up your tired old nasty miserable ass. Merry Christmas to you too bitch." for disagreeing with her.

Incoming!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anyway, I'm not saying they had no right to be upset, just that they were over the top mean to my child.

Exaggerated shush = over the top mean? OP, you need to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit, my kid wasn't sitting perfectly quiet, but this was a very noisy place and he would occassionally get loud. Each time, we told him to be quiet and he would be good for a while, but he's three and so we have typical toddler issues (in addition to my 15 months old stealing some attention). Anyway, this was 9 am, busy IHOP type place on a Friday, tons of other kids and noise, etc. My DS turned around and loudly yelled "hi" to the older couple behind him and they "shooshed" him in such an exaggerated way that he started crying. DH and I were kind of at a loss for what to do. Actually, DH was pretty angry and got into it with them a little bit, and I was just shocked at the whole situation. My son is super friendly and social and I think he was shocked that his enthusiastic greeting was so abruptly shut down.

Has that happened to you? How would you have reacted? DS was pretty upset and I went over to him and gave him a hug and said "people don't like it when you're loud so they shooshed you, but it's alright. Let's just have our pancakes."

Okay so, I read through all the posts, and this one is off topic. Some people are saying it was Friday Night, others are saying it WAS an iHop, which it wasn't.
Why do I bring this up? Because I am pregnant and when I read this I thought "yum...pancakes....but I don't like iHop...." then saw that it wasn't iHop which made me wonder where it was. The Pancake House? I haven't been there in forever....strawberry pancakes...yum...BUT then I read a few posts that said it was at night, and I thought to myself, oh my gosh, a pancake place that isn't iHop that is open at night!?! Do tell! I was a little upset when I went to read the original post about it being at 9am. Now, I am going to make panckes.

Sorry OP, trying to bring you a little humor through all of this. I have a 19 month old who says Hi to people too.

[Anonymous]

To all you PPs who think OP is such a bad parent - do you not have any protective instincts at all? Do you not care about your child's feelings? It sounds like the kid got a little excited at breakfast. This old couple made him cry. Wouldn't you as a parent be irritated?! Take out all the PC bull crap about how kids are supposed to behave and be "seen not heard" and have manners, blah blah blah. This old couple could have just let it go, but they had to go head to head with a three year old and made him cry. As a parent, that would piss me off.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm kind of exhausted here of relaying what happened. Yes, he was loud onoccassion. No, he did not bother them except that one loud "hiiiiiiii". Yes we were trying to keep him quiet with reminders to be quieter and distractions. It was a packed IHOP people! It was already loud and that's why we went there and not to a "nice" breakfast place. I do teach my child manners. What can I say, if you don't have any issues with your three year old in public, congratulations. I'm still working on it. I don't expect anyone to humor my child. Ignoring him would have been fine. Making him cry because he greeted you loudly, not so cool. For what it's worth, if they had said something to me, I would have apologized. Not sure what else to say, except that if hou think I'm hiding the fact that my kid was actually doing something worse than what I've described, then you're wrong, but whatever, it's not like I can doll the footage.

[Anonymous]

Pregnant lady: it was IHOP, 9:30 or so. I originally wanted to be more anonymous by saying it's IHOP type place. Sorry. Oh, you should try pancake house though. It's amazing!

[Anonymous]

As someone who likes and knows how to deal with kids, if a child had interrupted my conversation when I was talking about something serious/important (or if I just didn't want to deal with him right then), I would have said, "Hi, Sweetie - we are talking about grown up stuff right now. You should talk to your mom and dad instead." That would have said "leave us alone" and put the responsibility back on the parents without being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say something, but if your child yelled at me I would be pretty irritated. I'm usually pretty chatty with kids if they behave, but yelling is always rude.
Sure the old people could have dealt better with it, but they probably did with their own kids.
Even if ihop is not a fancy restaurant, but it is a restaurant where kids should behave.
Do you teach your kids that ihop is ok to scream, but not at other places. I think kids should always have manners, even at wendy's.

Look out, PP. you do not appreciate her Sunny Hello from her WONDERFUL three year old child. "She may just personally shove this plate of pancakes up your tired old nasty miserable ass. Merry Christmas to you too bitch." for disagreeing with her.

Incoming!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no not for disagreeing with me. For repeatedly calling my kid names. What a sick person you are.

[Anonymous]

I think the "children should be seen but not heard" went out in 1950 - which is why we have such a problem with old, grumpy people to begin with.

As for the posters who have issue with the OP.....I'm sure if someone made your child cry (in an IHOP, in a pancake house, or a freaking Ruths Chris), you'd be protective and tell the old couple to piss off. If not, you're pretty crappy parents.

Or, you're the crazy parent of the perfect 3 year old who is absolutely silent and perfect at all times.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am with you...UNTIL you get to the part where you say that shooshing is "over the top mean" to use your words. That is just ridiculous. Your child's feelings were hurt that he got publically and "meanly" shooshed. That doesn't feel good as a parent but it's also not a big deal. Your kid was a normal kid, and it's also normal to help kids learn what appropriate public interaction is. And above all, even if "mean", chewing out those people in front of your child is a very poor lesson. Sometimes it's better to take the high road and model proper behavior than to "get into it" with people whose approach isn't ideal. They had their meal interrupted, you had yours, that's being out in public and you just have to deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the "children should be seen but not heard" went out in 1950 - which is why we have such a problem with old, grumpy people to begin with.

As for the posters who have issue with the OP.....I'm sure if someone made your child cry (in an IHOP, in a pancake house, or a freaking Ruths Chris), you'd be protective and tell the old couple to piss off. If not, you're pretty crappy parents.

Or, you're the crazy parent of the perfect 3 year old who is absolutely silent and perfect at all times.

We're going to have to agree to disagree on the bolded. I don't expect a quiet 3 year old and kudos to OP for choosing a child-appropriate place to go out. However, telling an old couple to piss off if you disagree with a shoosh in response to yelling is not good parenting in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am with you...UNTIL you get to the part where you say that shooshing is "over the top mean" to use your words. That is just ridiculous. Your child's feelings were hurt that he got publically and "meanly" shooshed. That doesn't feel good as a parent but it's also not a big deal. Your kid was a normal kid, and it's also normal to help kids learn what appropriate public interaction is. And above all, even if "mean", chewing out those people in front of your child is a very poor lesson. Sometimes it's better to take the high road and model proper behavior than to "get into it" with people whose approach isn't ideal. They had their meal interrupted, you had yours, that's being out in public and you just have to deal.

Ding, Ding, Ding. No more calls, we have a winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnant lady: it was IHOP, 9:30 or so. I originally wanted to be more anonymous by saying it's IHOP type place. Sorry. Oh, you should try pancake house though. It's amazing!

Ack! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I just couldn't get pancakes out of my head after this post, hahahaha!

I'm trying to stay out of this, pregnancy hormones and all, but if a 3 year old says hi to me, loudly or not, I just say "Well Hello there, how are you"? Usually they just turn around and giggle or go on to something else. No big deal. I think I'd sit there with saucer eyes if someone shhhh'd my kid after saying Hi, but just move on and keep eating. I'd bring it up about a dozen times in the car, though, hahaha!

Anywho, I once had a 3 or 4 year old say Hello to me when I was pregnant, and I said Hello back. He then asked if I had a magic bean in my belly. I asked why, and he said because in his books magic beans would grow and grow bigger and bigger, and I might have swallowed one. His parent's were mortified, I laughed and said he might be right, and I'll have to check on that. He turned around with a smile, like he solved a puzzle, and that was that. His parents were so upset and kept scolding him. They came up to me later and said sorry about a dozen times, I said it was fine. Sorry, off topic again but I just remembered that and thought it was funny.