What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will go first.

- No sleepovers. I have held 1/2 sleepovers...(kids wear PJ's, have fun but get picked up at 11:00 pm).

- No dating in HS.

- No carpools for my kids. We did offer rides and ran carpools for our friend's children if they asked for it but never for mine.

I'm curious about the no dating in HS thing. How do you prevent your 16 year old, for example, from having a boyfriend? She is out of the house at school for a large part of the day, and then presumably is allowed out with friends at least occasionally. How do you prevent her from having a romantic interest, which is so natural and normal at that age?

My kids were high achieving and liked being in a very demanding and rigorous academic program (4th -12th grade). However, they had very little free time for romance. Between ECs, sports, volunteer work, field trips and academics, my kids had an insanely long school day. Weekends was usually competitions, tournaments, travelling, homework, test prep, catching up on sleep, socializing with friends, leisure time and family time. Also, students in their cohort were as busy as them - so there was no one who was really dating. Maybe one or two couple. I am sure romantic interest and crushes did happen but there was no time to act upon them.

Did you go to school with your kids? Did you go with them to socialize with friends? You have no idea of they acted upon romantic interests.

Yes, I did. I was very involved in the school so I knew what was happening at the school. Plus, dropping them, picking them up, being at home with them, tutoring them. They were socializing mainly with same gender friends within their programs and the parents were also those that prioritized education. I know it is hard for you to believe but there is a group of immigrant kids (you know those who play the violin, win robotics, hackathons and Math competitions, program apps, have perfect GPA and ace SAT, win spelling bees and science competitions, write research papers and start non-profits) - who just have a different aim in life. Also, they are leaning on parents for logistical support and so they are always under the watchful eyes of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Conservative? Trump supporter?

Her and her parents both are trump supporters, but our family is independent. She comes from Georgia.

NP. I'd MUCH rather my son dated and had sex with someone than dated someone who is a trump supporter.

DP.
STFU. You all voted for Trump - twice. He is a reflection of who you are as a people and who you will tolerate because it serves your purpose. And you all (especially the White women) are complicit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is actually hilarious. I don’t know a single person who owns a gun (and I’m a republican). I also don’t know a single person who owns a pitbull. And I would say the vast majority of people I know don’t do sleepovers.

I love how people hate when Americans stereotype non-americans and they just do the same exact thing.

And for the first time I am hearing that non-American teenagers tell their parents everything and never lie 🙂.

Sir, there are more guns in America than people, I guarantee you know someone who owns one.

[Anonymous]

Do not show up at a potluck with a bottle of soda or a small amount food. I come from a culture where everyone comes with huge amounts of food to share at a potluck, and they don't take their own leftovers back.

[Anonymous]

Opening birthday presents in front of guests during the party. Just no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is actually hilarious. I don’t know a single person who owns a gun (and I’m a republican). I also don’t know a single person who owns a pitbull. And I would say the vast majority of people I know don’t do sleepovers.

I love how people hate when Americans stereotype non-americans and they just do the same exact thing.

And for the first time I am hearing that non-American teenagers tell their parents everything and never lie 🙂.

Sir, there are more guns in America than people, I guarantee you know someone who owns one.

People just don't have guns. They have arsenals. AK-47 and grenades. They are prepping for a different kind of hunting, IYKWIM.

[Anonymous]

Here are some things that we do that is different from most American families. Hopefully, kids are watching this and will follow these traditions.

- We are a no-shoes indoors family.
- We wear masks when we are unwell.
- We don't make our babies sleep in a seperate room from the parents.
- Postpartum care of new moms and their babies is the responsibility of the family. And people do budget money for this.

[Anonymous]

We don't get together with family or friends for Thanksgiving. Often, we'll take a trip somewhere. Or just go out to a nice restaurant in town that evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

DP. I think socialization, family dynamics and home culture also plays a part in how and when children become sexually active. Most gen-z are moving away from hook-up culture and I think this is also due to the culture and worldview that immigrants are bringing to the table. Hooking up as seen as trashy and poor people's behavior. Especially in the affluent and educated circles.

Not in the rich South/ Texas or the poor South/ Texas. It’s all about hooking in the guy fast.

Now I agree it’s trashy as a teen and lots to lose, but somehow everyone’s rich Moms are setting them up with other rich mom kids. It’s truly bizarre.

Of course they never really leave home or most certainly return fully hooked up after their SEC sorority/frat college life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opening birthday presents in front of guests during the party. Just no!

We went to a Turkish wedding and they started opening the gifts on stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Opening birthday presents in front of guests during the party. Just no!

We went to a Turkish wedding and they started opening the gifts on stage.

No, they didn't. You should have read up on this. This kind of information is readily available on the internet.

This is their tradition of the family and close friends publically giving gold to the newlywed as a show of support to them from the family. It’s actually a high-energy event called the Takı Töreni (Jewelry Ceremony). I think it is very sweet. They also give gold coins that they pin on the couple or put it in their bags. Just showering them with wealth and support

Gifts given by other guests (like household goods etc) are not opened. They are kept at a side table.

In many Asian cultures, gold jewelry is given to the newlyweds by relatives so that they start off with amassing some wealth/capital. In my culture, any jewelry given to the bride throughout her life as gift, inheritance, generational wealth, prize, winnings or through her own earnings belongs only to her and is not part of the marital property,.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Conservative? Trump supporter?

Her and her parents both are trump supporters, but our family is independent. She comes from Georgia.

NP. I'd MUCH rather my son dated and had sex with someone than dated someone who is a trump supporter.

DP.
STFU. You all voted for Trump - twice. He is a reflection of who you are as a people and who you will tolerate because it serves your purpose. And you all (especially the White women) are complicit.

Huh? I've (a white woman) NEVER voted for Trump. We didn't "all" vote for him. He doesn't serve my purpose.

[Anonymous]

These things aren't exclusively American. You know that, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will go first.

- No sleepovers. I have held 1/2 sleepovers...(kids wear PJ's, have fun but get picked up at 11:00 pm).

- No dating in HS.

- No carpools for my kids. We did offer rides and ran carpools for our friend's children if they asked for it but never for mine.

I'm curious about the no dating in HS thing. How do you prevent your 16 year old, for example, from having a boyfriend? She is out of the house at school for a large part of the day, and then presumably is allowed out with friends at least occasionally. How do you prevent her from having a romantic interest, which is so natural and normal at that age?

My kids were high achieving and liked being in a very demanding and rigorous academic program (4th -12th grade). However, they had very little free time for romance. Between ECs, sports, volunteer work, field trips and academics, my kids had an insanely long school day. Weekends was usually competitions, tournaments, travelling, homework, test prep, catching up on sleep, socializing with friends, leisure time and family time. Also, students in their cohort were as busy as them - so there was no one who was really dating. Maybe one or two couple. I am sure romantic interest and crushes did happen but there was no time to act upon them.

EC, sports, fields trips, etc are all great ways to spend time with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will go first.

- No sleepovers. I have held 1/2 sleepovers...(kids wear PJ's, have fun but get picked up at 11:00 pm).

- No dating in HS.

- No carpools for my kids. We did offer rides and ran carpools for our friend's children if they asked for it but never for mine.

I'm curious about the no dating in HS thing. How do you prevent your 16 year old, for example, from having a boyfriend? She is out of the house at school for a large part of the day, and then presumably is allowed out with friends at least occasionally. How do you prevent her from having a romantic interest, which is so natural and normal at that age?

My kids were high achieving and liked being in a very demanding and rigorous academic program (4th -12th grade). However, they had very little free time for romance. Between ECs, sports, volunteer work, field trips and academics, my kids had an insanely long school day. Weekends was usually competitions, tournaments, travelling, homework, test prep, catching up on sleep, socializing with friends, leisure time and family time. Also, students in their cohort were as busy as them - so there was no one who was really dating. Maybe one or two couple. I am sure romantic interest and crushes did happen but there was no time to act upon them.

EC, sports, fields trips, etc are all great ways to spend time with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Like running water, kids will find a way