What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

This is the funniest post I’ve ever seen on DCUM.

Gentle reader:

Your college son with a girlfriend is absolutely having sex. And that’s normal.

Some parents are just truly naive. And some want to stay that way it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Why do you live here and allow your children to go to school here if you think American families are dangerous?

Good question. Why are you here?
Probably for economic reasons. I can't imagine anyone yearns to come here for the liberal freedom to own a gun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Conservative? Trump supporter?

Her and her parents both are trump supporters, but our family is independent. She comes from Georgia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Oh, they're the freakiest. Probably the Jesus Loophole.

[Anonymous]

I would hate to think my kids weren’t having sex in college. What a waste!

My kids are both in healthy monogamous relationships and I would be sad if they missed out on this very important part of life at an age when it is so vital and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hate to think my kids weren’t having sex in college. What a waste!

My kids are both in healthy monogamous relationships and I would be sad if they missed out on this very important part of life at an age when it is so vital and fun.

Exactly! OP do you want your kids to be miserable? Do you hate sex and find it a chore or for making babies only?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Why do you live here and allow your children to go to school here if you think American families are dangerous?

+1 why on earth would you choose to move and make your home somewhere you don’t feel safe and don’t like the people?
Either the place you came from was a true hellhole and America is okay by comparison, or you’re just here to harvest some wealth before retiring in luxury in your esteemed home country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

Distracted and terrible driving, poorly maintained car, negligence to check if kids were wearing seatbelts, allowing rudeness, inappropriate behavior and trash talking in the car - we saw this behavior when I was also in the car of one parent who gave us a lift one time. So, that was my one exposure and then DH and I decided that we would not let our kids do carpool with someone else. I am perfectly fine driving other people's kids around if I am asked. I will happily do the carpooling, wait for them for pickup and drop off, let them wait for their parents at my house, provide meals and free childcare etc at my house, host events at my own house...all of this so that I can let my kids have fun and have friends...but I do not trust others with my children.

You are raising your children to be paranoid freaks. I’m 1/2 “American” and in my other home country children are much more free to play, explore, become independent in a healthy way while still having the whimsy of childhood. This is what I have tried to instill as well as less materialism, importance of family, learning for the love of it not just a career path, greater sense of community. We are also very strict about guns. I will ask other parents if they have guns and how they are stored, and we talked to our children about what to do if a friend ever decided to “show them daddy’s gun” or something.

[Anonymous]

Some of these are not strictly American but my no list:

Veg all summer in front of screens

Video games or TV unsupervised

Use rude language or roll eyes at me

Be rude to adults

Eat candy and sweets every single day

Pint size ice cream cones

BB gun

Wear shoes in house

Rude behavior like making fart noises

Trampoline parties

Sleepovers

Paint ball

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these are not strictly American but my no list:

Veg all summer in front of screens

Video games or TV unsupervised

Use rude language or roll eyes at me

Be rude to adults

Eat candy and sweets every single day

Pint size ice cream cones

BB gun

Wear shoes in house

Rude behavior like making fart noises

Trampoline parties

Sleepovers

Paint ball

Pull my finger!

[Anonymous]

Motorcycles
Tattoos
Drinking and driving
Private plane trips (yes a few moco kids have died in private planes)
AP classes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would hate to think my kids weren’t having sex in college. What a waste!

My kids are both in healthy monogamous relationships and I would be sad if they missed out on this very important part of life at an age when it is so vital and fun.

Exactly! OP do you want your kids to be miserable? Do you hate sex and find it a chore or for making babies only?

LOL. I would be whole-heartedly behind the American obsession with wanting their kids to have premarital sex, IF - it made Americans good at sex, it made Americans have healthy sexually active marriages (most don't have), if it would save their marriages and if they liked their spouse.

But with 50% divorce rates...what did all the premarital hooking up gain you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would hate to think my kids weren’t having sex in college. What a waste!

My kids are both in healthy monogamous relationships and I would be sad if they missed out on this very important part of life at an age when it is so vital and fun.

Exactly! OP do you want your kids to be miserable? Do you hate sex and find it a chore or for making babies only?

LOL. I would be whole-heartedly behind the American obsession with wanting their kids to have premarital sex, IF - it made Americans good at sex, it made Americans have healthy sexually active marriages (most don't have), if it would save their marriages and if they liked their spouse.

But with 50% divorce rates...what did all the premarital hooking up gain you?

If you come from a culture where you will never divorce once married, why not have fun while you’re not married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Motorcycles
Tattoos
Drinking and driving
Private plane trips (yes a few moco kids have died in private planes)
AP classes

Ummmm since when is drinking and driving an american thing? It’s definitely illegal here and it’s not like anyone is promoting this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would hate to think my kids weren’t having sex in college. What a waste!

My kids are both in healthy monogamous relationships and I would be sad if they missed out on this very important part of life at an age when it is so vital and fun.

Exactly! OP do you want your kids to be miserable? Do you hate sex and find it a chore or for making babies only?

LOL. I would be whole-heartedly behind the American obsession with wanting their kids to have premarital sex, IF - it made Americans good at sex, it made Americans have healthy sexually active marriages (most don't have), if it would save their marriages and if they liked their spouse.

But with 50% divorce rates...what did all the premarital hooking up gain you?

Yes, it’s definitely the people who have had zero experience going into marriage who are the very best at sex. Are you kidding?

And staying in a marriage because you feel like divorce is wrong has nothing to do with sex.