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Help husband and I settle a huge argument over where to move!
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Anonymous
| If you buy a house that needs work in the areas that you prefer, who will do the fixing up? If t's your husband, that mght make him resentful or he mght just refuse to do it and you'll be stuck in a house that still needs work years later. |
Anonymous
No, it hasn't always been the case. Ever since the federal government subsidized the highway system and cheap mortgages, the middle and upper-middle class left downtowns for the white-picket fence American Dream. The decline was accelerated after the MLK riots. Even now, the scars from that era are finally being healed on H Street. So no, it has not always been the case, but as the suburbs have grown, lifestyles have become increasingly dependent on single-occupancy vehicles. At some point, gas and tolls (much less maintainence and insurance) will be much more expensive relative to other household expenses, When considering where to live, location and access to transportation options will be stronger considerations than they are today. |
Anonymous
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DH and I went thru this when we were looking - MD versus VA, inside the beltway versus outside. Most of his college friends are in MD and most of my friends were in VA. We thought about moving further out, in case I had decided to stay at home, but he was against a longer commute so we could have a bigger house. He also knew me well enough to know if I continued to work once we had kids, I would hate a long commute. Fast forward to the tiny house in MD that we were always working on.
- DH loves that I tell him that he was right. Being more centrally located gave me more options when I changed jobs. I've done the commute to DC, commute to Tysons, and luckily a reverse commute staying in MD. Had we moved either to VA or outer suburbs either way, it would have limited where I could work and still have a decent commute. - We rarely see DH's friends. Men just don't really plan playdates. When they do get together it ends up being a guys come over and watch the game or go out on the town. There are friends that live 5 minutes away that haven't seen our kids in years. We have one close friend that we do babysitting swaps with but that will depend on how comfortable each of you are with watching the other person kids. - I envy all of our friends that seem to have family in the area. For an area of tranplants, it feels like most of my friends here have family in the area that help with the kids. I think you need to take advantage of that if you can. You may be able to have date nights once a month, or go to the football games and/or sporting events, or even a weekend away when the kids get older. Doing all those things with a babysitter - I am not one to really trust strangers that way, and the cost can get very expensive. You think to go to the football game - 5 hours of babysitting plus the cost of going. I'm with everyone else that is saying the compromise area is Vienna or McLean - close enough to your family to be able to take advantage of it, not that far from his friends, and centrally located should you decide to go back to work. In the meanwhile, your husband would have an enviable commute when he has to go into the office. The only exception is if you really want the big house and are the type of people to entertain regularly - you have relatives that come stay with you and like to throw together parties of 10 people etc. We aren't those people - at most we have one couple, maybe two over with kids and our families. It would be overwhelming in our house to have 8 kids running around all the adults. We also don't do the big birthday parties at our house for the kids other than the ones that involve our family. |
Anonymous
Wow, then I feel way ahead of the curve! When DH and I decided to buy a house years ago and move from our one bedroom in DC, our criteria was very close in and within walking distance to a metro. I knew we would never be able to afford it (and was fine with that, I wanted to buy a town house or an apt.) and DH said we would. He was right, we did, and I am so glad we did. I promised myself when I was young that if we ever found ourselves commuting for an hour we would have to move. I just can't do it. We are pretty much planning on staying in our house until we leave the area, if that ever happens. Yes, it's small, but we are adapting. |
Anonymous
| How often do people who live in Ashburn get to the Kennedy Center, the Smithsonian museums or a DC restaurant for a special occasion? |
Anonymous
| In 1964, my parents' friends couldn't believe that they were moving to the sticks. McLean. LOL. My dad had a 30 minute commute, which was considered unbearable back then. |
Anonymous
Probably however often they care to. For some people, these things are important to do very regularly, for others, not so much. Plus, if you can believe it, there ARE cultural activities in the 'burbs. I can't speak for Ashburn, since I live nowhere near there, but if you live in that other outer slum that's been mentioned here, Gaithersburg, you could quite easily travel to Strathmore, or the Blackrock Center in Germantown. Or you could attend a concert or performance at Harvard on the Pike. There are also non-chain restaurants in the 'burbs. City living is not everyone's goal. I understand this is the DC URBAN moms message board, so I expect it is important for many or most of the posters here, but there are other people who are quite happy to live further out. |
Anonymous
I used to be in a carpool and it wasn't convenient. I can't always drop what I'm doing at work to run out the door right at 5:30 to catch a carpool. I don't drive to work often, but when I do it takes and hour and a half. I either drive to the Vienna metro and park, or take the bus to the Pentagon, then catch the subway. I do not live near an express bus stop. In either case it takes longer than 45 minutes. Not everyone lives in your exact location with the convenience of flexible hours. |
Anonymous
It goes back and forth. I got a great deal on a very large condo in DC during the early-mid 90s. The townhouses were also pretty reasonably priced at the time. Everyone was fleeing DC for the burbs. The poor public school system in DC pushes families out of the city. Commercial real estate and taxes were more attractive to businesses so you saw more jobs created in the suburbs. Tysons/Dulles Corrider, Columbia, up 270 and other areas beyond the close in burbs now have a good portion of the jobs. The desire for new houses or different layouts also drives people out of the inner areas. Affordability also comes into play. Some people are willing to spend 800K but not on a very small house or small yard. They see more value for the dollar by moving out. While I agree that Gaithersburg is where people go for more reasonable priced yet nice houses, the rich do flock to Great Falls and Potomac. Heck, I was surprised at the size of the houses in Darnestown which is west of Gaithersburg. I think its safer from a re-sale point buying closer in or next to a major artery but you should still look at the trends of the neighborhood against the trends in other areas. To use Gaithersburg as an example, the houses in the Kentlands have held onto their prices pretty well. The planned community and surrounding businesses have been pretty successful. Clarksburg on the other hand fell through the bottom and probably is not coming up anytime soon. Gaithersburg is going through what Rockville did 10 years ago. Some areas such as the ones that feed into the Wootten district or the Kentlands (feeds Quince Orchard) are very desirable and there are others north of 270 that are lower income housing. |
Anonymous
| 10:52, if you live in Ashburn, you might as well live in Fredericksburg in terms of the cultural opportunity. Other than the job market, why would you pay even the reduced Ashburn prices rather than living in a really cheap location if you don't ever go to DC? |
Anonymous
10:52 here, and I can't really answer your question because I would never, ever in a million years live in Ashburn. But I could see reasons - proximity to work (not necessarily in DC), proxmity to family/friends, good schools (I have no idea if the schools in Ashburn are good, but some schools in outer burbs are), nice community feel...really, cultural opportunity is not at the forefront of everyone's mind. I can be educated and read books and live in Ashburn, I can enjoy music and live in Ashburn...if I'm someone who NEEDS proximity to theater and museums and 4 star restaurants, clearly Ashburn would be a poor choice, but so would anywhere that isn't a large city. |
Anonymous
| I think OP should move to Oakton. It has more land and house for the money then McLean or Vienna, and the schools are good. |
Anonymous
| where is oakton? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you and your husband just have two very different perspectives... a HUGE difference. I'm not sure how you will find common ground.
We a small house in a close-in, near-Metro neighborhood in Arlington. I absolutely love living here. We've had some bad renovation projects (lots of time and frustration) and some things we've just accepted- but it is totally worth it. Ours was extremely affordable compared to other options close by- and I like having a small house because it means less cleaning, less clutter, and lower bills. I walk everywhere and like having a whole downtown section so close to our quiet neighborhood. My husband and I have more time together in the evening, and less stress when we sit down on the couch with our glasses of wine after an easy commute. I know what you are saying about your husband's college friends and their big houses, however. My in-laws are from a much less expensive part of the country and cannot believe we live in such a small house, with our jobs. They do not understand the prices here, but more so, how going 2 or 5 miles can be a soul-sucking endeavor with the traffic here. It is just a different perspective- some people just INSIST on having the big house as a measure of success. One of the many things I like about Arlington is that as a close-in, densely developed area, houses and neighborhoods are constantly being updated. The solid, post-war brick houses are constantly being renovated; some houses are torn down to build new ones. You can see that the neighborhoods will continue to look good and be functional 10, 20 years from now. Ashburn is not the same way- with a development of tract homes all built at the same time, cheaply constructed, the neighborhood will age in place. 10 or 20 years from now, the homes in Ashburn will look dated. Look at any subdivision built decades ago- it looks dated. The architecture isn't that good- faux colonials and too many gables, with an attached garage in front of the house. Another reason I like our house? In an unexpected turn of the bad economy, my husband was laid off along with a whole bunch of others. Although that was never something that we'd planned for or expected, it turned out to be a very good thing that my salary could cover our expenses, so that my husband had the option to become self-employed/start his own business. Having smaller fixed monthly bills made pursuing his dream a real option. (I'm SO happy to give it a shot.. without having big stress in the process. ) |
Anonymous
| The snobbery from people that live close in is really unbearable. If Ashburn is not for you, then don't move there. Thumbing your nose at those who chose to is not a good look. |