Help husband and I settle a huge argument over where to move!

[Anonymous]

Cannot not offer you advise on location, but I can tell you - hands-down, buying inside the beltway and near public transportation, and a home that is older with charm (pre-1960) that needs a little work will always, always, always be a better investment than buying a mcmansion anywhere!

That logic works no matter what part of the country you're in. So as far as I'm concerned, give him the concession by buying in VA, but buy in McLean, Falls Church, Arlington or Alexandria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vote Mclean, hands down. Bethesda loses because, sadly, $700k will not buy you much at all plus the commute is worse. $700k in Mclean won't buy you a new McMansion, but it will probably net you an extra bedroom and a garage and a much larger yard vs. what you could get in Bethesda. Plus the commute would be much easier, and for travelling during non-rush hour periods the drive between Bethesda and Mclean will be easy for you as a SAHM visiting friends and family. It's presumably also closer to Ashburn although that's one of those towns whose name I hear all the time but probably couldn't find on the map. Mclean schools are great and depending on your location you can be inbounds for the famous TJ high school. And Mclean will surely hold (and increase) its value. I live in Bethesda btw - love it, but unfortunately know all too well what $700k gets you here. It's ridiculous.

Bethesda is not more expensive than McLean. $700k here in McLean won't necessarily buy you a great house, either. But it is a great location, close to Arlington for restaurants/shopping, close to Tyson's and the city, great schools. McLean to Tyson's commute is 15 minutes at the most.

Ashburn is horrid--very far out, and a bad commute. Ugly preplanned area with nothing but chain restaurants and no charm.

[Anonymous]

We've been househunting for a while and I agree that Mclean is no cheaper than Bethesda. And of course PPs are right that investment-wise you are way better off staying inside the beltway and buying something that you can slowly improve over time. But of course, you're looking for a home to live in so it's not just a financial calculation. I am totally with you on this but I can also imagine if this was my DH I'd have to hear it from him for the next 20 years every time something was not perfect about our house. Can you compromise and move somewhere like Reston or Herndon?

[Anonymous]

I am going to agree with 11:53. You need to look at this both as the place where you will live and raise your kids, as well as one of the, if not the, biggest investment you will make.

Re-sale value and the steady home prices are on transit corridors and in the District and close-in suburbs. This will increase as the cost of gas and single-occupancy travel increase (tolls, insurance etc.).

The era of the exurban McMansion is over. Heating and cooling it, driving to it etc. will become increasingly expensive. The sooner your husband understands this, the better it will be for all of you.

[Anonymous]

Fairfax is the best for both of you. Great schools, good commute, and you are still close to a lot of SAHM activities. While your babysitters are going to be a bit further away if you live in McLean or Falls Church, they are still within driving distance.

Bethesda would be a horrible, horrible daily commute.

McMansions are just tacky. And no one really needs that much space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vote Mclean, hands down. Bethesda loses because, sadly, $700k will not buy you much at all plus the commute is worse. $700k in Mclean won't buy you a new McMansion, but it will probably net you an extra bedroom and a garage and a much larger yard vs. what you could get in Bethesda. Plus the commute would be much easier, and for travelling during non-rush hour periods the drive between Bethesda and Mclean will be easy for you as a SAHM visiting friends and family. It's presumably also closer to Ashburn although that's one of those towns whose name I hear all the time but probably couldn't find on the map. Mclean schools are great and depending on your location you can be inbounds for the famous TJ high school. And Mclean will surely hold (and increase) its value. I live in Bethesda btw - love it, but unfortunately know all too well what $700k gets you here. It's ridiculous.

A friend of mine just sold a beautiful house over 2K sq. feet for 700K in Bethesda. On a major road but totally renovated. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right opportunity.

I also wanted to disagree with the idea that Tysons would be a bad commute. Bethesda to Tysons is not a big deal. I guess it may depend on where in Bethesda, but I work in that area and its' fine. You can also think about the Northern part of Bethesda near the Montgomery Mall, which would be a very easy commute to Tysons, or Cabin John. I agree that Great Falls is a good option and so is Oakton.

[Anonymous]

Isn't Ashburn in a different time zone?

This is how we steeled where to move. On a Sunday night, we stayed in a hotel in that area, woke up at the normal time and drove to work in the commute, half way from Ashburn to Mclean, my husband called and said, let's buy the house in Bethesda. I said to be fair, let's do the same next week by staying in a hotel in Bethesda he said no way. We ended up in Glen Echo and his commute is very short to N VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't Ashburn in a different time zone?

This is how we steeled where to move. On a Sunday night, we stayed in a hotel in that area, woke up at the normal time and drove to work in the commute, half way from Ashburn to Mclean, my husband called and said, let's buy the house in Bethesda. I said to be fair, let's do the same next week by staying in a hotel in Bethesda he said no way. We ended up in Glen Echo and his commute is very short to N VA.

Is 9:05 the OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think if he is the one who has to deal with the commute, I would let him choose the area to live. It won't make much difference to you which parks, playgrounds, library, Starbucks, etc. you go to. If the schools are good, you can make new friends and find babysitters. Ashburn is not the end of the world.

Also, as much as I would love to be a SAHM, and I am not a SAHM - I think the fact that he works and thus allows you the opportunity to be a SAHM is a huge contribution on his part and his desires in where the salary he makes buys a home should weigh heavily on this decision. Not to denigrate the work that YOU do. But to recognize how lucky you are to have that option of staying home.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like his buddies all have large houses, and he wants one to, to save face. I bet he can't imagine buying a house at the top of your budget and having it be a 3 bedroom rambler.

I'd look at a compromise - Oakton/Vienna/Reston. You can get a little more house with great schools and a better commute (than Ashburn).

[Anonymous]

I'd estimate that the Ashburn-Tysons commute is about 1 hour during rush hour; commuters crawl along Route 7 or the Toll Road.

Well, the thing is, your DH will be working or on the road commuting during the week, so not at home. He may have time for his buddies on weekends alone for which he can drive to see them once a week at most, maybe once every 2 weeks. You, on the other hand, will be living in the house scheduling activities with kids throughout the week.

[Anonymous]

i'd vote bethesda or mclean for sure. schools are better. loudoun's gotten a bit better, but the redneck/mcmansion crowd? I don't mean Cooter's garage type rednecks, more like the drive gas guzzling suburban, wear baseball hats guy/frosty blonde, too skinny wives club that you find in exurbia...No thanks.

[Anonymous]

The Bethesda to Tysons commute is hellish. There is no reason for it.

Not if you work flexible hours, such as coming in early or leaving late. I commute NW DC (just inside of Bethesda) to Fairfax on the beltway and it's not terrible. 30 minutes each way for me, but I flex my hours. If that's not an option...well, it might be hellish.

[Anonymous]

Ashburn does not sound fun.
To far out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like his buddies all have large houses, and he wants one to, to save face. I bet he can't imagine buying a house at the top of your budget and having it be a 3 bedroom rambler.

Good point, and one that I was thinking of as well. We entertain my DH's team (he has about a dozen people on his staff) once a year, and I know that part of him feels sheepish that we have a 2K sqft home with no garage and most of the guys on his team have huge houses. The catch is, we're in Arlington, they're scattered across Loudon, Prince William, and even St. Mary's counties.

Is there a way to figure out if his motivation is to be near his buddies, or to "keep up with" his buddies as measured by square footage rather than value?