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Help husband and I settle a huge argument over where to move!
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Anonymous
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My husband and I are in a deadlock as to our future living arrangements, and I don't know how we're going to be able to compromise. We are buying a house this summer and are in total disagreement as to where. I would prefer to buy an older, smaller house inside the beltway, either Bethesda, Mclean or Falls Church. A house that's liveable but may need renovations as time goes on. My husband wants to buy an enormous, fairly new house in Ashburn. Neither of us are budging on this and I don't know what to do.
Things to consider: -My husband works in Tysons, I am a SAHM. -My dad and brother, who help us out a ton with babysitting, both live in Bethesda. -All of my mom friends/children friends live in Mclean, Bethesda, DC and we have playdates all the time. -I have lived in DC/NOVA since my son was born and I now have a great cache of places to go and activities to do with little ones in this area. -schools in MOCO, Fairfax county are awesome -My husbands group of guy friends from college all live in Ashburn with their families. -My children are young (2.5 and 1) so could make new friends easily. -Much of Ashburn is families, where as alot of the neighborhoods I like have a mix of young families and older residents. Ok, so these are the facts, there are pros and cons for both, obviously. I think what it's going to come down to is what the best decision is financially. In the long run, what would be the better investment- a smaller house close in that we will prob want to renovate in the future, or a gorgeous home that requires no maintenance but is in Ashburn?? Thanks for any opinions. |
Anonymous
| I would exclude Bethesda to begin with. I can see why it appeals to you because you have family and friends there but for your husband to commute every day from Bethesda to Tysons sounds nightmarish. |
Anonymous
| Is budget a concern, or that's flexible? |
Anonymous
| OP. Budget is 700k. That can buy two very different houses in different areas, hence the drama. As for the commute, how is it from Ashburn to Tysons? I honestly have no idea. Also, husband is in sales, so daily schedule can be a bit flexible. |
Anonymous
| I commute from Bethesda (along the Mass corridor- Sumner, Westmoreland, Westhaven area) to Tysons and it only takes 20 minutes or so. I go in sort of early though so I'm not sure what it would be like at 9. Going home is a bit longer but I can almost always do it in 30 minutes. |
Anonymous
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Think first about schools and commute -- the two things you can't change.
You can always add on. Pick a house in a close-in neighborhood that has a flat lot or space to do so. My feeling is that this kind of house is a better investment than something farther out. I think you would end up feeling isolated in Ashburn. Plus, as your kids get older, you may want access to things like camps and after-school activities that may only be available closer in. Also, with all due respect to your husband, you are the SAHM and will be in the house and neighborhood most of the time. The fact that his buddies live nearby shouldn't be of primary importance. |
Anonymous
| How about Great Falls? |
Anonymous
| I vote Mclean, hands down. Bethesda loses because, sadly, $700k will not buy you much at all plus the commute is worse. $700k in Mclean won't buy you a new McMansion, but it will probably net you an extra bedroom and a garage and a much larger yard vs. what you could get in Bethesda. Plus the commute would be much easier, and for travelling during non-rush hour periods the drive between Bethesda and Mclean will be easy for you as a SAHM visiting friends and family. It's presumably also closer to Ashburn although that's one of those towns whose name I hear all the time but probably couldn't find on the map. Mclean schools are great and depending on your location you can be inbounds for the famous TJ high school. And Mclean will surely hold (and increase) its value. I live in Bethesda btw - love it, but unfortunately know all too well what $700k gets you here. It's ridiculous. |
Anonymous
| My husband lived closer to Baltimore than I did, so when we were looking for houses, he really wanted to be further out. So we ended up in the boonies of MD. It's ok, but my hour long commute does stink and I still miss living closer to DC. I'd think really hard before compromising on this. |
Anonymous
| Bethesda. It's on the metro and close to major highways and roads. Plus, it's in Maryland (I'm a non-VA person myself, so that's a big factor for me). I agree with PPs that it's important to consider the needs of the whole family, regarding schools and how easy it will be for you to spend your time while at home. You don't want to be somewhere where you have to drive everywhere, you want to be able to walk (or metro) to parks and shops and museums and the zoo. You can always drive on the weekends to hang out with friends. |
Anonymous
| Ashburn is for people who simply must have a huge McMansion or who just can't afford to live closer. I would pick somewhere inside the beltway, hands down. |
Anonymous
| I'm not familiar with Ashburn at all, but based on the reasons you listed I think you should stay in the McLean, close-in Virginia area. Your husband will be close to work, so that's a huge plus for him in addition to the quality schools and housing values which are the most important things. |
Anonymous
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The Bethesda to Tysons commute is hellish. There is no reason for it. Ashburn to Tysons isn't great, either. He would only be seeing his friends on the weekends, anyway, so why move all the way out there?
I would look in McLean, Arlington and Falls Church for 700k--you can get something decent, awesome schools, not too far from Bethesda to visit friends and your family, and a good commute to Tysons. |
Anonymous
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If you move to Ashburn, all of the negatives fall on you. (1) Who is going to clean and maintain said "enormous" house. YOU. If you think a new home won't require any maintenance, you are dreaming. (2) Who is going to have to develop and entirely new set of acquaintances, friends, social support, babysitters etc. not only for yourself but for your children? YOU. (3) Who is going to be separated from immediate family members? YOU.
Meanwhile, he gets to keep his life as before, hang out with HIS buddies after work, and get to feel all proud of him manliess for buying you granite countertops (whoop dee doo.) In all ways you lose and he comes out on top. |
Anonymous
This. You should just print this out and show it to your DH. |