Date made snide comments about me being a trust fund baby

[Anonymous]

Absolutely a troll post. People who actually have $ know not to mention it to others since some people will want to date you just for your money. The fact that OP is clueless to this point means they are a troll for sure.

[Anonymous]

Probably a troll but some of you give too much credit to the rich -- lots of idiot rich people out there, especially in their 20s. People grow up in narrow social circles and overprotected by well-resourced parents and never learn how to interact with other sorts of people. OP's persistence in this thread says troll but I've definitely met people like this in life.

In a real scenario like this, the OP's trust fund wouldn't alone be considered an issue. In fact plenty of people would view that as appealing -- if you marry someone with a trust fund, that will be a a benefit to you both.

What would be off-putting is someone who is aimless, doesn't seem to have goals or plans for the future. Especially in a dating context -- no one wants to get involved with someone who has no direction at all. Relationships tend to need some kind of forward momentum, especially for young people who are building a life. It's weird to encountered someone in their 20s who is just standing still, and this will put off potential partners whether there's a trust fund or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a guy on Instagram and we went on two dates. On the second date he asked about my work. I said I’m taking a break for now, which is true. Later it came out that I’m financially independent due to family money / a trust fund.
His tone immediately changed. He made snide comments like “must be nice not to have to work” and implied I must have an easy or unmotivated life. It didn’t feel playful — it felt judgmental.
After the date he continued calling and texting me, but I felt uncomfortable enough that I ended up ghosting and blocking him.
I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future. I just didn’t expect this reaction from this guy who is quite successful himself.
So I’m genuinely curious — is being a “trust fund baby” a turn-off when dating? Or did I just meet the wrong guy? What do men really think of women like me?

I don't know about the unmotivated part, although "I am taking a break for now" and "I'm not opposed to working in the future," combined with you not indicating how long this break has been and no definite plans to search for or go back to work, certainly suggest it.

But it's hard to argue with "must be nice not to have to work" and "your life is easy" - why would you get offended by that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

Have you ever had a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a guy on Instagram and we went on two dates. On the second date he asked about my work. I said I’m taking a break for now, which is true. Later it came out that I’m financially independent due to family money / a trust fund.
His tone immediately changed. He made snide comments like “must be nice not to have to work” and implied I must have an easy or unmotivated life. It didn’t feel playful — it felt judgmental.
After the date he continued calling and texting me, but I felt uncomfortable enough that I ended up ghosting and blocking him.
I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future. I just didn’t expect this reaction from this guy who is quite successful himself.
So I’m genuinely curious — is being a “trust fund baby” a turn-off when dating? Or did I just meet the wrong guy? What do men really think of women like me?

A couple of things. 1) You don't lead a normal life. Most people work for a living. 2) You aren't successful, you're lucky. He probably works for his money, you do not.

I'm mot judging you, I'd love to be independently wealthy. But you sound really tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should ask around in your network to find someone similar to date. I’m dead serious. There’s a reason why all the wedding announcements in the NYT were between people from rich families. Someone who had a similar upbringing to you wouldn’t do a double take when you mentioned you had a trust fund and then you could know that you were on the same page re: money.

I usually date guys from similar backgrounds, just tried something different this time. I’m turning 24 soon, and just looking for a long term partner.

OMG, you're 24? What are you "taking a break" from exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

Have you ever had a job?

Besides internting in college, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably a troll but some of you give too much credit to the rich -- lots of idiot rich people out there, especially in their 20s. People grow up in narrow social circles and overprotected by well-resourced parents and never learn how to interact with other sorts of people. OP's persistence in this thread says troll but I've definitely met people like this in life.

In a real scenario like this, the OP's trust fund wouldn't alone be considered an issue. In fact plenty of people would view that as appealing -- if you marry someone with a trust fund, that will be a a benefit to you both.

What would be off-putting is someone who is aimless, doesn't seem to have goals or plans for the future. Especially in a dating context -- no one wants to get involved with someone who has no direction at all. Relationships tend to need some kind of forward momentum, especially for young people who are building a life. It's weird to encountered someone in their 20s who is just standing still, and this will put off potential partners whether there's a trust fund or not.

I don’t think you need to work to have a life purpose .. that’s a weird way to think. Whats wrong with Mr taking a break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

Have you ever had a job?

Besides internting in college, no.

Maybe you should look into working at an art gallery, thats what most rich girls do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time.

Agreed. I would love to never have to work so enjoy that for me, but I would need to be doing SOMETHING, like what gets you up out of bed every day, and what will you talk to people about, how do you make friends and such if you are idle rich?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time.

Agreed. I would love to never have to work so enjoy that for me, but I would need to be doing SOMETHING, like what gets you up out of bed every day, and what will you talk to people about, how do you make friends and such if you are idle rich?

I do have things I’m committed to and do and plan to go to grad school. My friends live similar lives to me, and there’s never not enough to do, going out with friends, partying, hanging out with parents, our many hobbies, we have a lot to talk about.

[Anonymous]

pillow princess