Date made snide comments about me being a trust fund baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time.

Agreed. I would love to never have to work so enjoy that for me, but I would need to be doing SOMETHING, like what gets you up out of bed every day, and what will you talk to people about, how do you make friends and such if you are idle rich?

I do have things I’m committed to and do and plan to go to grad school. My friends live similar lives to me, and there’s never not enough to do, going out with friends, partying, hanging out with parents, our many hobbies, we have a lot to talk about.

That's great OP. What's hard for you to know at your age is that by mid-life, if you haven't devoted yourself to something meaningful, many people hit a "what does it all mean" phase. And honestly being busy helps get you through that. Doesn't mean you have to be busy working retail or chained to a desk, but without a greater purpose, it all becomes a bit of a void. I'm seeing this among some of the Dads of our school families; guys that made a ton of money early and retired in their late 40's, now they're mid 50's and pretty aimless. They never really parented so they have no real role at home, and many are sort of lost. Lots of TV, too much drinking. A few affairs which I think developed out of sheer boredom. You're truly fortunate to have the range of options your wealth affords you. Remember that infinite options can sometimes be harder than just a few choices. Grad school is probably a great idea.

[Anonymous]

I actually have several friends and acquaintances who have very large trusts. Not one of them does nothing all day and they didn't raise their children to feel they need breaks from the luxury of studying for 4 years at an elite college. I have even more friends who are self-made multi millionaires and all of them are engaged in a project or job that occupies them full-time, even if it's unpaid work. (Lots of friends who made their fortune in Silicon Valley and now spend their time giving away that money to causes they care about.)

In a city like DC, the young people that move here for careers are generally highly motivated overachievers. On the non-profit and advocacy sectors, many of those people would do what they do (albeit perhaps not starting at 9am every morning) even if they didn't need the money. And they definitely work for less money than they could earn over in the private sector. In general, these types of people won't find a person without a life purpose, or even interested in figuring out what their purpose is, to be appealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re really embarrassing OP. Whether a troll or for real, totally embarrassing and dumb as a doornail.

We know.

[Anonymous]

The issue is you’re unmotivated and uninvolved. A successful driven career man isn’t going to be interested in someone who can’t even be bothered to hold a volunteer position or job meant for rich kids with trust funds.

You likely have nothing interesting going on in your life and clearly can’t manage even the most normal of conversations.

You’ll have to find yourself a boring trust fund man that is also happy to waste his life away and you can take turns cheating on each other on your vacations and day drinking.

[Anonymous]

Oh man I have a friend from college like this. Rich, good-looking, great sense of humor. Has a huge trust. He always asked me why we never dated, and I told him the truth, which was that I always just felt friendship towards him. What I never said was that the reason I had no attraction to him was that he had no ambition for life. He was whip smart, probably could have done anything he wanted. But he had no hunger or drive, and now lives near the beach and spends his time walking his dogs, working out, and playing golf. I'm a physician who still works, and after 20 years in my field, that life sounds amazing to me now. But at 30 I was like yeah, no.

There's also the dark side of all that free time over the past 30 years, which have included a few trips to rehab and one very unfortunate cocaine binge. No thanks. We're still good friends though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

Aww, come on. I wanted the dolt troll to tell us about her Women’s Studies BA and all her activist protests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

That’s a weird MO OP.

I know a ton of wealthy real trust funders and most have tangible careers. The intl ones work elsewhere in their 20s and get graduate degrees overseas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time.

Agreed. I would love to never have to work so enjoy that for me, but I would need to be doing SOMETHING, like what gets you up out of bed every day, and what will you talk to people about, how do you make friends and such if you are idle rich?

I do have things I’m committed to and do and plan to go to grad school. My friends live similar lives to me, and there’s never not enough to do, going out with friends, partying, hanging out with parents, our many hobbies, we have a lot to talk about.

That's great OP. What's hard for you to know at your age is that by mid-life, if you haven't devoted yourself to something meaningful, many people hit a "what does it all mean" phase. And honestly being busy helps get you through that. Doesn't mean you have to be busy working retail or chained to a desk, but without a greater purpose, it all becomes a bit of a void. I'm seeing this among some of the Dads of our school families; guys that made a ton of money early and retired in their late 40's, now they're mid 50's and pretty aimless. They never really parented so they have no real role at home, and many are sort of lost. Lots of TV, too much drinking. A few affairs which I think developed out of sheer boredom. You're truly fortunate to have the range of options your wealth affords you. Remember that infinite options can sometimes be harder than just a few choices. Grad school is probably a great idea.

I’m going back to school this fall, and plan to do more work. At 24 with the level of wealth I have, I don’t think anything has to be rushed. I can take my time to figure out what I want to do long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I have a friend from college like this. Rich, good-looking, great sense of humor. Has a huge trust. He always asked me why we never dated, and I told him the truth, which was that I always just felt friendship towards him. What I never said was that the reason I had no attraction to him was that he had no ambition for life. He was whip smart, probably could have done anything he wanted. But he had no hunger or drive, and now lives near the beach and spends his time walking his dogs, working out, and playing golf. I'm a physician who still works, and after 20 years in my field, that life sounds amazing to me now. But at 30 I was like yeah, no.

There's also the dark side of all that free time over the past 30 years, which have included a few trips to rehab and one very unfortunate cocaine binge. No thanks. We're still good friends though.

We sound like twins! I heavily filtered for non ambitious men and would never have married one.

Alas, I am a 40 year old attorney who has finally reached the “why does this even matter anymore” stage. I wouldnt retire to do nothing; I would probably sit on boards and do all the stuff our nanny does for us now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure we are getting trolled here.

Stop being the troll police.

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to these losers . They wish they were you. A lot of them didn’t come from money and had to grind to make it, which is hard as a woman, and they ended up getting married to lackluster men and are now unhappy with their lives in middle age. They’re very envious of a hot rich 24yo woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to these losers . They wish they were you. A lot of them didn’t come from money and had to grind to make it, which is hard as a woman, and they ended up getting married to lackluster men and are now unhappy with their lives in middle age. They’re very envious of a hot rich 24yo woman.

Lol if op were hot, I suspect the guy she went on a date with wouldn’t have had a problem with her layabout life. Her problem is she’s not hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to these losers . They wish they were you. A lot of them didn’t come from money and had to grind to make it, which is hard as a woman, and they ended up getting married to lackluster men and are now unhappy with their lives in middle age. They’re very envious of a hot rich 24yo woman.

Lol if op were hot, I suspect the guy she went on a date with wouldn’t have had a problem with her layabout life. Her problem is she’s not hot.

I don’t think he has a problem with the way she lives her life moreso, is jealous about how easy she has it. Why would he go on a date with her and continue contacting her if he didn’t like her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to these losers . They wish they were you. A lot of them didn’t come from money and had to grind to make it, which is hard as a woman, and they ended up getting married to lackluster men and are now unhappy with their lives in middle age. They’re very envious of a hot rich 24yo woman.

Lol if op were hot, I suspect the guy she went on a date with wouldn’t have had a problem with her layabout life. Her problem is she’s not hot.

Not true. A lot of guys don’t want a hot layabout wife either. Your not a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to these losers . They wish they were you. A lot of them didn’t come from money and had to grind to make it, which is hard as a woman, and they ended up getting married to lackluster men and are now unhappy with their lives in middle age. They’re very envious of a hot rich 24yo woman.

Lol if op were hot, I suspect the guy she went on a date with wouldn’t have had a problem with her layabout life. Her problem is she’s not hot.

That doesn’t change the fact that your still jealous of young hot women.