Date made snide comments about me being a trust fund baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a guy on Instagram and we went on two dates. On the second date he asked about my work. I said I’m taking a break for now, which is true. Later it came out that I’m financially independent due to family money / a trust fund.
His tone immediately changed. He made snide comments like “must be nice not to have to work” and implied I must have an easy or unmotivated life. It didn’t feel playful — it felt judgmental.
After the date he continued calling and texting me, but I felt uncomfortable enough that I ended up ghosting and blocking him.
I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future. I just didn’t expect this reaction from this guy who is quite successful himself.
So I’m genuinely curious — is being a “trust fund baby” a turn-off when dating? Or did I just meet the wrong guy? What do men really think of women like me?

This is what’s your not understanding, OP. Almost nobody I know can afford to step out of the workforce. Those who can have high-earning spouses or family money. Just sitting out of the working world as an unmarried young(?) adult is astoundingly flashy.

His behavior was out of line, but he was probably triggered. Just projecting, but I would guess that he has college loans or low-earning parents and likely experiences some form of financial stress. You were right to break up with him, not because he experiences financial stress, but because he couldn’t handle the wealth disparity.

In the future, you need to wait to mention the trust fund until you are engaged. If people can tell that you have a trust funds from your life style, you’re not living the quiet life you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

“I live a normal life.” lol.

You have to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a guy on Instagram and we went on two dates. On the second date he asked about my work. I said I’m taking a break for now, which is true. Later it came out that I’m financially independent due to family money / a trust fund.
His tone immediately changed. He made snide comments like “must be nice not to have to work” and implied I must have an easy or unmotivated life. It didn’t feel playful — it felt judgmental.
After the date he continued calling and texting me, but I felt uncomfortable enough that I ended up ghosting and blocking him.
I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future. I just didn’t expect this reaction from this guy who is quite successful himself.
So I’m genuinely curious — is being a “trust fund baby” a turn-off when dating? Or did I just meet the wrong guy? What do men really think of women like me?

This is what’s your not understanding, OP. Almost nobody I know can afford to step out of the workforce. Those who can have high-earning spouses or family money. Just sitting out of the working world as an unmarried young(?) adult is astoundingly flashy.

His behavior was out of line, but he was probably triggered. Just projecting, but I would guess that he has college loans or low-earning parents and likely experiences some form of financial stress. You were right to break up with him, not because he experiences financial stress, but because he couldn’t handle the wealth disparity.

In the future, you need to wait to mention the trust fund until you are engaged. If people can tell that you have a trust funds from your life style, you’re not living the quiet life you think you are.

What part was out of line? Stating what most people think? Yes, it must be nice not to work. Not having to work and not worry financially makes an easy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See how nastily some people on this thread are responding? You want to keep this a secret for as long as possible. And then they'll be too much in love to care, especially as it's not debts you're confessing to, but money!

Also, do these nasty posters also look down on stay-at-home parents?

There is nothing wrong with not working if you don't have to work.

Yes. That's a definite "yes," from me anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think of you as a bougie welfare queen living off the work of others.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone can take a well deserved break after college. Hope you didn't phrase it that way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future.”

You seem a little clueless if you have to ask this question to begin with. But in a world where most people need to work to support themselves, are you really not able to see how your statement above might come across? Many would instantly conclude you have little in common with their lives

+1

A 24 yr old who does not need to work, and in fact doesn't, is not living "a normal life."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

If y'all doubted before that this is a troll ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think of you as a bougie welfare queen living off the work of others.

This.

[Anonymous]

My DH, his brother, and sister all have trust funds. He and his brother worked anyway, and worked hard. They have both been successful. His sister refused to work. She’s a piece of work, like the child who never grew up.

I think of trust funds as something that someone at some point worked really hard to build. They’re there for safety and to pass down, to make life easier, but not to just blow through aimlessly.

The line that you are open to working is weird. Working isn’t something you just sign up for, like a gym membership. You have to actually build a career, and that takes work. Unless you mean you’re going to work at Banana Republic or Starbucks or someplace like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what do you do all day?

I graduated from an Ivy League school and am just taking a well-needed break. Hobbies including traveling, golf, Pilates, etc.

Sure, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future.”

You seem a little clueless if you have to ask this question to begin with. But in a world where most people need to work to support themselves, are you really not able to see how your statement above might come across? Many would instantly conclude you have little in common with their lives

+1

A 24 yr old who does not need to work, and in fact doesn't, is not living "a normal life."

College was hard. So hard. And now a multi year break is needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not flashy, I live a normal life, and I’m not opposed to working in the future.”

You seem a little clueless if you have to ask this question to begin with. But in a world where most people need to work to support themselves, are you really not able to see how your statement above might come across? Many would instantly conclude you have little in common with their lives

+1

A 24 yr old who does not need to work, and in fact doesn't, is not living "a normal life."

College was hard. So hard. And now a multi year break is needed.

This is a troll. One hundred percent. Look at the voice here. Stop feeding the troll.

[Anonymous]

Why are you all so judgy towards rich people and Sahms?

I come from a rich family, and took many breaks throughout my career, it’s not an issue at all. Not being a wage slave bothers you that much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you could have just said “I’m living off savings,” and left it at that. The way you phrased it turned me off too.

Trust fund kid here. Yeah, don't tell someone you barely know you have a trust fund. Say you are relying on savings for now but look forward to working in the future. And be careful letting guys you date know how much money you have - you don't want someone marrying you for the wrong reasons.

I started going part time/remote during Covid. But I was 48 then. And I still have something to put on my resume so I can work again if I get Bernie Madoffed or something.

You are too young to stop working. You need to get that life experience. Or if you truly have tons of money, at least go to grad school.