Am I in the wrong here or is my daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

Like 12-1 am because I have to put the kids to bed, do some extra work, do the kitchen, and after all this have some time to myself to read a book or watch a movie with my husband who works from 7-9 on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends.

This is sounding more and more troll-ish. I kind of hope you're making this all up.

You cannot wake up before 8 to help your teen daughter prioritize sleep because you need to read a book or watch a movie. You are shocked that a teenager rolls their eyes, therefore you take away all screens.

Be a loving parent. Feed the cats for her, then talk to her when she wakes up. Most teens are sleeping until 11 or later whenever they get the chance. They need it.

So you expect me not to have any time to myself? If you were a parent you would know that that is necessary or you will become burnt out. Especially with 3 kids and a husband who is constantly working. Plus during the week she wakes up at 6 to take care of the cats so there is no reason for me to. On the weekends its her sister usually even though I dont agree that she should be the one having to do the work.

I am a parent! That's why I can confidently state that you should be prioritizing her getting sleep over you watching a movie! You were already up! Feeding the cats would take 2 minutes, tops. Versus her having to wake up, do it, and miss out on needed sleep. People who love each other do favors for the other person sometimes.

I hope your child has friends whose parents love on her instead of criticize her constantly. And I hope she is able to go to college far away to start fresh.

[Anonymous]

A couple of days ago she was telling me how she wanted to go to a college near our house so she could always be near us and live with us during her college times (she doesn't like being separated from us for long like no sleep away camps or more than 2 night sleepovers) and I had to tell her if she still had that attitude then no we wouldn't want that. She then asked me if we would kick her out if she were 18 right now and I told her we would give her money, get her a place to stay and kick her out unless she improves on her attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This has to be a troll.

Its not. I grew up with a mom like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

Like 12-1 am because I have to put the kids to bed, do some extra work, do the kitchen, and after all this have some time to myself to read a book or watch a movie with my husband who works from 7-9 on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends.

This is sounding more and more troll-ish. I kind of hope you're making this all up.

You cannot wake up before 8 to help your teen daughter prioritize sleep because you need to read a book or watch a movie. You are shocked that a teenager rolls their eyes, therefore you take away all screens.

Be a loving parent. Feed the cats for her, then talk to her when she wakes up. Most teens are sleeping until 11 or later whenever they get the chance. They need it.

So you expect me not to have any time to myself? If you were a parent you would know that that is necessary or you will become burnt out. Especially with 3 kids and a husband who is constantly working. Plus during the week she wakes up at 6 to take care of the cats so there is no reason for me to. On the weekends its her sister usually even though I dont agree that she should be the one having to do the work.

I am a parent! That's why I can confidently state that you should be prioritizing her getting sleep over you watching a movie! You were already up! Feeding the cats would take 2 minutes, tops. Versus her having to wake up, do it, and miss out on needed sleep. People who love each other do favors for the other person sometimes.

I hope your child has friends whose parents love on her instead of criticize her constantly. And I hope she is able to go to college far away to start fresh.

You aren't making sense. I watch the movie with my husband who works all day until 9pm. She can feed the cats at night before she goes to bed. that is not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

I am NOT a troll. I say this because it is true. I don't want her to think her attitude is ok because its not. Ive tried talking to her multiple times but nothing works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple of days ago she was telling me how she wanted to go to a college near our house so she could always be near us and live with us during her college times (she doesn't like being separated from us for long like no sleep away camps or more than 2 night sleepovers) and I had to tell her if she still had that attitude then no we wouldn't want that. She then asked me if we would kick her out if she were 18 right now and I told her we would give her money, get her a place to stay and kick her out unless she improves on her attitude.

I'm so, so sorry for your daughter.

When I was 18 and was dropped off at college, I asked my dad if he would miss me. He confidently said, "Not really, you've been a jerk for 5 years, it'll be nice to have a break." I am now 39 and still cry when I think about that. Our relationship has always been strained in my adult life, and probably never will be any different.

Tell your daughter you love her. That's it. Just say that. No strings attached, no, "I love you but..." Just let her know she is unconditionally loved. And if you can't say that, get yourself help. Teens are hard, but they don't mean to be snotty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

I am NOT a troll. I say this because it is true. I don't want her to think her attitude is ok because its not. Ive tried talking to her multiple times but nothing works.

You really don't get it. She has the attitude because of how you treat her. You are mean to her, you don't like her and you favor her sister. Why would she be nice to someone who treats her like crap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

I am NOT a troll. I say this because it is true. I don't want her to think her attitude is ok because its not. Ive tried talking to her multiple times but nothing works.

Which is why you clearly need a parenting coach or therapist to teach you how to properly engage with her. Berating her isn't working.

[Anonymous]

So mom works barely part time but you want to sh*t on 15dd is going to school and fostering animals and basically caring for herself? Where's their dad in this? Is he a dead beat too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

I am NOT a troll. I say this because it is true. I don't want her to think her attitude is ok because its not. Ive tried talking to her multiple times but nothing works.

She is 15! This is normal. Nothing is supposed to work. If you did your job as a parent, they will get through this stage of finding independence and alienating themselves from parents and come around and have a good relationship with you as adults. If you screw it up, they will leave at 18 and not come back and remember you as ruining their childhood.
She has taken on a LOT of responsibility, her younger sister wants to help, good for her too. You are still a parent and need to set the emotional and physical example of being supportive and responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

Literally who cares? That's not what kids want or need. They want and need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. Your posts are dripping in disdain for your own child. I promise you she senses that and gives it right back. For the love of God read a parenting book during your many hours of "me time" every night.

Like I always tell her: "With you attitude nobody wants to be around you." She knows why. She doesn't change.

This is now clearly in troll land.

But on the off chance it's not...prioritize therapy for yourself, OP. You need support to learn how to parent your child in a way that she will respond to. What you are doing currently obviously isn't working. Regardless of who is right or wrong, no one is happy. Therapy can help you learn how to engage more fruitfully.

I am NOT a troll. I say this because it is true. I don't want her to think her attitude is ok because its not. Ive tried talking to her multiple times but nothing works.

You really don't get it. She has the attitude because of how you treat her. You are mean to her, you don't like her and you favor her sister. Why would she be nice to someone who treats her like crap?

See YOU don't get it. She has always been a stubborn and angry child. By angry I mean she's like her dad. Gets angry fast but doesn't last for long. She doesn't seem mad about yesterday morning anymore so it's obviously not as big as a deal as you guys are making it out to be. Anyway, we have always been loving and supporting parents and she talks to us about a lot of things like boyfriends or crushes so she obviously trusts us. It's just when her attitude flares up its bad for the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus she is extremely polite and helpful at friends houses - I have received so many comments about her helping with the dishes, being very polite etc..- why cant she do this at her own house?

Probably because she doesn't like or respect you because of everything you've told us today. Can't wait for a "why doesn't my daughter speak to me" post from you in five years.

We do everything for them. Whatever sports they want to do, If they want new books, and we agreed to these foster cats.

LOL you "do everything" for her but you can't feed the cats you're already interacting with in the morning, or feed your own kids during the week because the 15 year old is already awake to take care of the foster cats so why not just have her take care of her siblings while she's at it?

I hope this is a troll, because no adult should sound so immature.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong.