Am I in the wrong here or is my daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

Well she’s 15. Just wait until she gets away from you and realizes how ridiculous you are once she’s a full fledged adult. You sound lazy and unappreciative of how good you have it with your daughter. She’s not perfect and neither are you. But she’s a teenager, what’s your excuse for being so lazy and petty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We’re fostering a mom cat and her five kittens. My (newly turned) 15 year old daughter really wanted to do this since we can’t adopt right now, so we let her take full responsibility. She handles the adoption emails (we’re copied on them), communicates with the kitten foster counselor, feeds them at night and on weekday mornings, cleans their litter box, and tidies her room every night since kittens make a huge mess. They live in her basement room at night but are allowed upstairs during the day. My 12-year-old also helps sometimes, especially on weekends when her sister sleeps in until 9 or has a sleepover.

On weekdays, my older daughter wakes up at 6 a.m. to get ready and take care of the cats and goes to bed around 10–11. Yesterday, the mom cat had a spay appointment at 8 a.m., so I woke up at 7 to get ready. My younger daughter was up too since she was coming with me. At 7:30, I went to the basement and turned on the lights to wake up my older daughter so she could feed them. I didn’t want my younger daughter doing it since my older daughter had wanted the responsibility.

When I woke her, she asked why her sister, who was already playing with the kittens, couldn’t feed them. She said she gets up at 6 every weekday and just wanted one morning to sleep in. She said she’d only gotten five hours of sleep the day before after haven woken up early the day before to go to Costco with me, and had even declined a sleepover to rest. She said she’d mentioned wanting to sleep in, but I told her that didn’t excuse her responsibilities and that she should just go to bed earlier.

Before I left, she yelled that I “can’t be talking” since I wake up at 8 every morning. I found that disrespectful because while I do wake up at 8 on weekdays, I also work a job and take care of three kids (the youngest is 8).

Who’s in the wrong here?

are you obese? who gets up at 8 on a weekday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We’re fostering a mom cat and her five kittens. My (newly turned) 15 year old daughter really wanted to do this since we can’t adopt right now, so we let her take full responsibility. She handles the adoption emails (we’re copied on them), communicates with the kitten foster counselor, feeds them at night and on weekday mornings, cleans their litter box, and tidies her room every night since kittens make a huge mess. They live in her basement room at night but are allowed upstairs during the day. My 12-year-old also helps sometimes, especially on weekends when her sister sleeps in until 9 or has a sleepover.

On weekdays, my older daughter wakes up at 6 a.m. to get ready and take care of the cats and goes to bed around 10–11. Yesterday, the mom cat had a spay appointment at 8 a.m., so I woke up at 7 to get ready. My younger daughter was up too since she was coming with me. At 7:30, I went to the basement and turned on the lights to wake up my older daughter so she could feed them. I didn’t want my younger daughter doing it since my older daughter had wanted the responsibility.

When I woke her, she asked why her sister, who was already playing with the kittens, couldn’t feed them. She said she gets up at 6 every weekday and just wanted one morning to sleep in. She said she’d only gotten five hours of sleep the day before after haven woken up early the day before to go to Costco with me, and had even declined a sleepover to rest. She said she’d mentioned wanting to sleep in, but I told her that didn’t excuse her responsibilities and that she should just go to bed earlier.

Before I left, she yelled that I “can’t be talking” since I wake up at 8 every morning. I found that disrespectful because while I do wake up at 8 on weekdays, I also work a job and take care of three kids (the youngest is 8).

Who’s in the wrong here?

are you obese? who gets up at 8 on a weekday?

And when does OP take care of the kids? Not the mornings, they are doing it themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

Why ask OP? For validation? Because you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

So your husband is never home to see his children, you are sleeping in while theyre getting ready for school, and you wont spend time with them in the evening because that's your 'you' time. Why did you even have children if you never want to be around them?

Your title was who was in the wrong. 8 pages of people say it was you, why can't you take the L and do some introspection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

Yes OP we get it, you're a wonderful mom and your daughter is doing everything wrong.

I shouldn't have, but laughed at your synopsis.

I feel like there is a cultural element here that hasn't come up but might explain the disconnect between the majority of people who find mom problematic (of which I am one) and OP looking for blind obedience and absolute compliance.

I have been thinking this. Not that American moms can't be terrible (hello I have one) but there seems like a cultural disconnect here with the emphasis on respect and blind obedience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

Well she’s 15. Just wait until she gets away from you and realizes how ridiculous you are once she’s a full fledged adult. You sound lazy and unappreciative of how good you have it with your daughter. She’s not perfect and neither are you. But she’s a teenager, what’s your excuse for being so lazy and petty?

This! At 15 I thought my mom was my "best friend" and wanted to stay in state for college. Fast forward to adulthood and I realize that my mom is an actual narcissist and was a TERRIBLE mother who said awful things to me when I was growing up. We talk by phone maybe 2x/year and I haven't seen her in person in a decade.

[Anonymous]

Page 11.

You're still wrong, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

You already said you don’t wake up and make them breakfast or lunch bc they are “old enough to do it themselves”

Nice try walking back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again:
Also I do have a job. It's from 10-4 and my two oldest daughters are old enough to make breakfast themselves and pack their lunch (one of them doesn't even eat breakfast and eats lunch at school) They take the bus to school and leave at around 8:15. My youngest daughter starts school at 8:45 and we live right next to the school so there is enough time for me to make her breakfast and lunch and then do her hair.

OP is such a f***ing liar. Bad trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I love my daughter. She has a bad attitude and its impacting the whole family. Theres no excusing that. My husband works from 7-9 almost 7 times a week. I wake up at 7:50 enough time to make breakfast and lunch since 2 of them leave at 8:15 and one at 8:45. They have no problem with this. My daughter very clearly wants to stay near us as she does not want to live far away for college and doesn't want any sleepaway camps. She is connected to her friends and teachers at school and does many acativites. I dont see your problem with me. There are many with her that we are working on even though its hard.

You already said you don’t wake up and make them breakfast or lunch bc they are “old enough to do it themselves”

Nice try walking back

She meant breakfast for just her, duh, while she’s watching them walk out the door. It wasn’t breakfast for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We’re fostering a mom cat and her five kittens. My (newly turned) 15 year old daughter really wanted to do this since we can’t adopt right now, so we let her take full responsibility. She handles the adoption emails (we’re copied on them), communicates with the kitten foster counselor, feeds them at night and on weekday mornings, cleans their litter box, and tidies her room every night since kittens make a huge mess. They live in her basement room at night but are allowed upstairs during the day. My 12-year-old also helps sometimes, especially on weekends when her sister sleeps in until 9 or has a sleepover.

On weekdays, my older daughter wakes up at 6 a.m. to get ready and take care of the cats and goes to bed around 10–11. Yesterday, the mom cat had a spay appointment at 8 a.m., so I woke up at 7 to get ready. My younger daughter was up too since she was coming with me. At 7:30, I went to the basement and turned on the lights to wake up my older daughter so she could feed them. I didn’t want my younger daughter doing it since my older daughter had wanted the responsibility.

When I woke her, she asked why her sister, who was already playing with the kittens, couldn’t feed them. She said she gets up at 6 every weekday and just wanted one morning to sleep in. She said she’d only gotten five hours of sleep the day before after haven woken up early the day before to go to Costco with me, and had even declined a sleepover to rest. She said she’d mentioned wanting to sleep in, but I told her that didn’t excuse her responsibilities and that she should just go to bed earlier.

Before I left, she yelled that I “can’t be talking” since I wake up at 8 every morning. I found that disrespectful because while I do wake up at 8 on weekdays, I also work a job and take care of three kids (the youngest is 8).

Who’s in the wrong here?

are you obese? who gets up at 8 on a weekday?

I’m not OP, but I’m curious why you asked if she’s obese? I get up at 6:30 in the morning, but it’s not like that’s keeping me thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

Like 12-1 am because I have to put the kids to bed, do some extra work, do the kitchen, and after all this have some time to myself to read a book or watch a movie with my husband who works from 7-9 on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends.

You're funny. You have to put them to bed?! But, they get up and out the door to school with breakfast and lunch all by themselves. You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

Like 12-1 am because I have to put the kids to bed, do some extra work, do the kitchen, and after all this have some time to myself to read a book or watch a movie with my husband who works from 7-9 on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends.

You're funny. You have to put them to bed?! But, they get up and out the door to school with breakfast and lunch all by themselves. You sound awful.

And her dh works 70+ hours per week, but they set aside time to watch movies.

[Anonymous]

Eleven pages say that you're wrong because you're wrong. Your 15 year old is far more mature than you are. As others have said, nice people do nice things for one another and the people who were already up should have taken care of the kittens.

I love cats and know that kittens are nocturnal and will keep a person up all night if they can. My hat's off to your daughter.