Desperately need help to recover from lovesickness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

[Anonymous]

I don't think people can say what the mans intentions or motivations are. He has serious personality and mental health issues and also substance use issues. He may also have needed the weekly texts as a support and he may have felt validated by someone still wanting him despite all his issues and felt cared for but he knows he isn't healthy enough to be in a relationship or knows OP would not be a healthy person to be involved with so he has kept OP at arms length. OP has been working hard to get her own needs met and likely the guy has been doing the same. Both seem to struggling with their mental health which is likely impacting on their perspectives and actions and thinking and decision-making ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

Your namecalling doesn't make you sound part, nor does it add strength to your argument. You've never known someone who kept you around just for your resources, including time and attention? You must not know very many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

Your namecalling doesn't make you sound part, nor does it add strength to your argument. You've never known someone who kept you around just for your resources, including time and attention? You must not know very many people.

Your judgmental assumptions about someone you know nothing about and who hasn't had any input says a lot about you. People who are happy to just attack others and speak about them in a derogatory way based on a sliver of information are not nice people. Your own nastiness about the guy doesn't say much about you either.

If the guy was posting or telling his friends about OP, it would likely to a very different story and a very different perspective. Your immature judgmental posts and efforts to try to project random negative characteristics onto him is pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

You have to remember that we're getting her side only and she's not ok. It's obviously shitty and cowardly to ghost someone but calling his actions "emotionally violent" doesn't actually help OP because in her mind, it justifies continuing to think about him and stay in this mental loop over her grievance and their "connection." Also, they were coworkers who texted. It doesn't seem like they actually dated or slept together.

And note in her first post, he does seem to try to gently distance himself or let her down easy- he tells her she has someone else and she's ok now. And instead of letting the conversation conclude, she expresses her love for him again. He obviously doesn't have the emotional maturity or ability to be firm with her after that point, but would she really absorb it even if he did?

OP, you need to take his silence as a "no" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

How is that not what friends do? Stay in touch, meet up occasionaly, hug when they see each other, talk about their lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

Men are not difficult to understand. When a man is interested he makes an effort to see with you and be with you regularly. This guy does not. He was a work acquaintance you texted with. I'm not sure if I'd call someone who doesn't want to see me a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

How is that not what friends do? Stay in touch, meet up occasionaly, hug when they see each other, talk about their lives?

What kind of friend gives a tight hug keeping you in their arms for 30 seconds? Earlier this year, I suggested that we travel somewhere as friends, and this is when he said that my marriage is a boundary that he is extremely hesitant to cross. What kind of friend says that?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe the people defending OP like her thinking is completely normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

How is that not what friends do? Stay in touch, meet up occasionaly, hug when they see each other, talk about their lives?

What kind of friend gives a tight hug keeping you in their arms for 30 seconds? Earlier this year, I suggested that we travel somewhere as friends, and this is when he said that my marriage is a boundary that he is extremely hesitant to cross. What kind of friend says that?

Stop obsessing OP. Seriously. You need to work on your mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his silence is kindness so you can go cold turkey.
You should.

While I agree that she should, silence is violence. Truth is kindness. If the answer is no, say no. If the answer is "I think you're really great, and I'm not available to be the person you deserve" say that. Honestly, if the answer is "Hell no, you delusional _______! " well, say that. Own the truth.

Going silent, ghosting, saying nothing when there's something important you could say... that's not kindness, it's cowardice. Be an adult and speak your truth, especially to someone who has already shown you that courtesy. Don't string people along when there's an easy way to not.

And I still agree she should pinch this turd off, because she has recognized that this "relationship" ain't shit and never will be.

OP here. Thank you. This is exactly how his silence feels to me - like violence. I don’t know why he is so afraid to tell the truth - I’m super peaceful and he knows that, there is no way I would come and actually stalk or physically hurt him if I don’t like his response.

Silence is not violence and he's made himself very clear. Let go of the idea that he owes you attention or affection. He doesn't. He's scared of a confrontation with you, not necessarily because you would be outright violent, but maybe he is just too cowardly. I would also be scared of a confrontation with you based on your posts as you seem unstable.

Yeah, no. Going non-com after stringing someone along is emotionally manipulative, and hurtful. Not saying anything at all from the start is one thing, but leading someone on and then ghosting is emotionally violent.

It's not "confrontational" to simply say no. If more people would just say "no" instead of all the pussyfooting around they do instead (and then ghosting), there'd be a lot less wasted time/energy and confusion.

Stable people have no trouble saying a direct "no" when they're not interested, and then not engaging if the other party persists. This guy didn't do that. He led her on and then went non-com. That's shite.

We are only getting OPs side of things and it's clear she's delusional and makes sure the narrative goes a certain way.

OP here. Why? I’m sharing the facts here: he has stayed in touch with me for many months, checking in on me, suggesting the phone calls to catch up, asked a lot of personal questions and shared a lot of personal information about himself. When we met, he hugged me 4 times, with the first and last hugs being tight and lasting for at least 30 seconds! I’d think any reasonable woman would think that a man is at least somewhat interested.

How is that not what friends do? Stay in touch, meet up occasionaly, hug when they see each other, talk about their lives?

What kind of friend gives a tight hug keeping you in their arms for 30 seconds? Earlier this year, I suggested that we travel somewhere as friends, and this is when he said that my marriage is a boundary that he is extremely hesitant to cross. What kind of friend says that?

I mean, your husband was married to you for 20 years and you dumped him completely, so I'm not sure why you're giving a 30 second hug so much meaning.

Also, he was clearly letting you down gently by citing your marriage, and you just refuse to get it. Come on girl, get with it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Also, regarding friends. Why was his reaction to me seeing someone “you’ve found a man and have no need for me”? Is this something a friend would say? I really wasn’t stalking him at that point, he was the one to check in on me at the end of July.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Also, regarding friends. Why was his reaction to me seeing someone “you’ve found a man and have no need for me”? Is this something a friend would say? I really wasn’t stalking him at that point, he was the one to check in on me at the end of July.

So you don't actually want help it seems. You just want attention and to obsess over him. You didn't actually post to get help and advice, you posted for validation and attention seeking purposes. Because if you actually wanted help, you'd put in an effort. But no, you just keep talking about him and wanting people to tell you you're right and all that. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Also, regarding friends. Why was his reaction to me seeing someone “you’ve found a man and have no need for me”? Is this something a friend would say? I really wasn’t stalking him at that point, he was the one to check in on me at the end of July.

He is saying this because he knows you have romantic feelings for him and he doesn't reciprocate. He's trying to be diplomatic or gentle with you without realizing how insanely invested you are. He has never slept with you or had a romantic relationship with you, so he doesn't really owe you any closure because there's nothing to close. You were casual work friends at best.