My DD is sliding into depression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What OP and others miss is this: if the other earlier cut girl had not been put on the roster, that doesn't mean OP DD would get on.

The outrageous part is that a girl who got cut early made it on the roster. If any of the girls who made it into the last round of tryouts was selected instead, this would be an entirely different conversation (or lack thereof). That's what the "life is unfair" mob doesn't get or refuses to acknowledge.

So many pages on unfairness.
The donor's nephew will get the internship.
The big customer's kid will get the summer job.
Things happen and it's how one reacts to them that determines your life.
Resilience is a learned skill.
BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What OP and others miss is this: if the other earlier cut girl had not been put on the roster, that doesn't mean OP DD would get on.

The outrageous part is that a girl who got cut early made it on the roster. If any of the girls who made it into the last round of tryouts was selected instead, this would be an entirely different conversation (or lack thereof). That's what the "life is unfair" mob doesn't get or refuses to acknowledge.

I think people DO get and acknowledge this. It's an injustice, one that doesn't make sense. You don't want to talk to the coach about it, and you and your daughter are both ruminating on it, resulting in her becoming depressed. This isn't healthy for either one of you. This is a setback, a disappointment, one of many that she will experience in her life. I know you think that this situation is "different" from other disappointments, but it isn't. It's a result of decisions that are outside of your control. I hope you get help for your daughter and possibly for yourself as well. This won't be the last time that something unfair happens to her and you need to learn how to parent through it without all of this sturm and drang.

You are not replying to the OP - this is something that I wrote. I agree that some people acknowledge the unfairness, but there are quite a few who simply blame the OP for not raising a more resilient DD. No shades of gray, no acknowledgement of injustice, just go for the jugular.

That is because of OP's failure as a parent.

Bottom line is OP made her kid obsessive about volleyball, no good parent does that.

OP's complaints about the other kid are ridiculous. OP is not a coach. OP has no idea how the coach sets up their team and fills in the talent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What OP and others miss is this: if the other earlier cut girl had not been put on the roster, that doesn't mean OP DD would get on.

The outrageous part is that a girl who got cut early made it on the roster. If any of the girls who made it into the last round of tryouts was selected instead, this would be an entirely different conversation (or lack thereof). That's what the "life is unfair" mob doesn't get or refuses to acknowledge.

I think people DO get and acknowledge this. It's an injustice, one that doesn't make sense. You don't want to talk to the coach about it, and you and your daughter are both ruminating on it, resulting in her becoming depressed. This isn't healthy for either one of you. This is a setback, a disappointment, one of many that she will experience in her life. I know you think that this situation is "different" from other disappointments, but it isn't. It's a result of decisions that are outside of your control. I hope you get help for your daughter and possibly for yourself as well. This won't be the last time that something unfair happens to her and you need to learn how to parent through it without all of this sturm and drang.

You are not replying to the OP - this is something that I wrote. I agree that some people acknowledge the unfairness, but there are quite a few who simply blame the OP for not raising a more resilient DD. No shades of gray, no acknowledgement of injustice, just go for the jugular.

That is because of OP's failure as a parent.

Bottom line is OP made her kid obsessive about volleyball, no good parent does that.

OP's complaints about the other kid are ridiculous. OP is not a coach. OP has no idea how the coach sets up their team and fills in the talent.

According to the latest post by the OP, the "talent" shanks most of the balls and has an embarrassing serve. But I am sure the other parents are liars and cannot tell when a ball gets shanked and you need to be a coach to see the difference between a good vs an embarrassing serve.