pay for adult kids to attend destination wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer to pay if it doesn't make a difference to your financial circumstances. My parents stopped paying for things like this once I was out of graduate school, but I know plenty of families where the parents pay for that kind of stuff indefinitely. I think it's kind of sweet.

It's generous but not "sweet". You are basically funding your adult child's vacations. You are forever a "child" in their minds. At some point, parents need to cut the tether, even for vacations.

I can understand if parents want a family vacation, and the adult kids can't afford it, but if the adult child can afford it and wants to go to a family wedding, then why would the parents pay for that? Sure, the parents can afford it, but so can the adult kids, albeit not as easily.

When do you officially cut the chord for everything?

Cord. Not "chord".

Why? Why does the cord needs to be cut at all? Why should you not give to your biological family if you like them and they are nice people?

Cord gets cut anyways when you die. Then all you can give is an inheritance.

I agree with this poster. Maybe it is partly cultural. DH and I are financially independent, we own a home and have kids and are not funded by our parents.

Last year we took a trip their home country (mine are immigrants) and planned to pay, we'd booked everything ourselves. My parents then decided they wanted to pay for it (they were always planning to join us). We could afford it, they can afford it, it's not a matter of needing or expecting.

But it was sweet and meaningful to us. Hard to explain it to people who just have a different worldview.