Nanny bringing child on vacation with us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you totally should tell the nanny no.
You are paying her for that week anyway, right, whether she travels with you or stays home? Its not her vacation week.

Exactly. Nanny is giving up a week of paid time off. She has done the personal math and it only is worth it to her if she can bring her daughter on this all-expense-paid trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford to take multiple vacations a year AND bring your nanny with you on vacation, I think you should let the nanny bring her child. When I saw the subject, ai was picturing a toddler who would split your nanny’s attention while caring for your kids. But a highschooler will be self sufficient while the nanny is with your kids, and can hang out with your nanny during her off hours. I’m assuming you’re not asking the nanny to be on call 24/7, right?? It would be a nice thing to do to let the teen come, it would probably make a huge difference to their family with only very minor costs to you.

I would not make this assumption. If the op is so worried about paying for the daughter's meals at pricey restaurants, she could not take the nanny to dinners (you know, spend time parenting her kids) or leave the children with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is giving OP a very hard time. OP, I get it. It is a lot to bring an additional person on vacation with you. I don’t know the logistics but I can see it being an extra air fare, extra hotel room, another vehicle needed for transportation, etc. I would talk with my husband and see if we could bring the teen. I get it for them too. This may be a once in a lifetime experience for them and they want to experience it. Maybe there is a happy middle ground where you pay for half of the teens stuff? Then the rest she pays on her own but you pay her for this vacation up front to her so that she has spending money? So let’s say you pay for the hotel and airfare but everything else is up to her. If you go to an expensive restaurant then leave the kids at home with her. Go out and enjoy yourselves. Maybe treat them to one nice meal out on you all with just them two? I would try to accommodate if I can.

OP deserves a hard time, and you're condescending AF when it comes to the nanny.

Agree. Why would OP and 1st PP above assume that the nanny’s daughter is thrilled to spend a week babysitting for some kids she doesn’t even know and being treated like a servant by OP? What a lot of entitled nonsense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is giving OP a very hard time. OP, I get it. It is a lot to bring an additional person on vacation with you. I don’t know the logistics but I can see it being an extra air fare, extra hotel room, another vehicle needed for transportation, etc. I would talk with my husband and see if we could bring the teen. I get it for them too. This may be a once in a lifetime experience for them and they want to experience it. Maybe there is a happy middle ground where you pay for half of the teens stuff? Then the rest she pays on her own but you pay her for this vacation up front to her so that she has spending money? So let’s say you pay for the hotel and airfare but everything else is up to her. If you go to an expensive restaurant then leave the kids at home with her. Go out and enjoy yourselves. Maybe treat them to one nice meal out on you all with just them two? I would try to accommodate if I can.

OP deserves a hard time, and you're condescending AF when it comes to the nanny.

Agree. Why would OP and 1st PP above assume that the nanny’s daughter is thrilled to spend a week babysitting for some kids she doesn’t even know and being treated like a servant by OP? What a lot of entitled nonsense!

Some of you are unhinged, can't read, or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the nanny and her daughter were looking forward to that week off to spend time together.
And now the nanny's boss has made a request and as her employee, the nanny doesn't want to say no but also doesn't want to disappoint (or be away from) her own child.

Sheesh, op, a little grace here.

How about moms helping moms?
You get childcare on vacation and your nanny gets to still spend time with her own kid who probably will help her mom and be fun for your kids. Even if you have to buy the teenager a hamburger or two.
Everybody wins.

I bet you like to say that your nanny is part of the family. Well, prove it.

+1

Especially to the last two lines.

[Anonymous]

I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

No, read it again. Nanny wants meals paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford to take multiple vacations a year AND bring your nanny with you on vacation, I think you should let the nanny bring her child. When I saw the subject, ai was picturing a toddler who would split your nanny’s attention while caring for your kids. But a highschooler will be self sufficient while the nanny is with your kids, and can hang out with your nanny during her off hours. I’m assuming you’re not asking the nanny to be on call 24/7, right?? It would be a nice thing to do to let the teen come, it would probably make a huge difference to their family with only very minor costs to you.

I would not make this assumption. If the op is so worried about paying for the daughter's meals at pricey restaurants, she could not take the nanny to dinners (you know, spend time parenting her kids) or leave the children with the nanny.

Lets be real, most don't go out to pricey meals with kids. The issue is usually babysitters or nannies on vacation work 24-7 instead of the normal 8 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

Not the same thing. You weren't working 24-7 for a week. This isn't a vacation for nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

No, read it again. Nanny wants meals paid.

She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals

I read that as the Nanny wants to cover her daughter’s meals. OP is worried that won’t happen and at the end OP will have to pay.

The nanny is not asking for OP to pay for her daughter’s meals or expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

No, read it again. Nanny wants meals paid.

According to the original post, the Nanny expects to cover the costs of her daughter’s meals.The OP is concerned that she might end up covering some of these costs. Where are you getting the idea that the “Nanny wants meals paid” from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's worth noting that at least per the original OP, the daughter is just coming along to the destination. She doesn't want to hang out with the kids and may not even want to hang out with her mom. It doesn't sound like OP is actually being asked to pay for anything - she's just worried that will happen. With good communication and clear expectations, it won't.

I used to accompany my husband on business travel all the time. Sometimes it was appropriate to join a business dinner, other times not. Sometimes he was occupied until midnight with business stuff, other times we did things together. The purpose of tagging along when he went to LA was to go to the beach, not his meetings. I'd imagine the teenager wants to be going to the beach, not babysitting OP's children in exchange for an overpriced steak.

No, read it again. Nanny wants meals paid.

She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals

I read that as the Nanny wants to cover her daughter’s meals. OP is worried that won’t happen and at the end OP will have to pay.

The nanny is not asking for OP to pay for her daughter’s meals or expenses.

Nanny should be working 8 hours a day. After that you give her a stipend for her meals outside of yours. I suspect nanny is expected to be with them all the time. Just leave the kids home with nanny.

[Anonymous]

Why can't OP take care of her own kids on vacation? Does she even like her kids?

[Anonymous]

I would rather clean motel rooms with a toothbrush than be a nanny for this entitled lady or the people who support her.

I, also, need to ask: doesn't she even like her own kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't OP take care of her own kids on vacation? Does she even like her kids?

Seconding this. I have childcare for my kids when I'm working but on vacation? Are you guys incapable of handling your own kids?