Relative gives “gifts” from closet

[Anonymous]

Just reciprocate in kind. Or have fun finding the best thing you can find on mega sale for $4 or less. Make a game of it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone gives me a gift, I say thank you, as my parents taught me, and you should, too.

Yep. I did that. That’s not even in question.

You’ve totally avoided the part where I was the only one to receive used items and lied to and told they were bought new.

You must get your jollies attacking people on the boards.

It. Doesn't. Matter.

New, old, lied to - doesn't matter. You say thank you, and then if you don't want it you toss it. That's all you need to do.

If you don't like this lady, don't visit her. That's fine. But choosing not to visit her because she gave you a bad gift is a weird motivation and that's why people are not sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

"Oh... just what I wanted. How did you know? Where did you find it?"

Toss it in the garbage where it belongs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

So you expect these elderly people to go out shopping for you? Why do you care about gifts at all?

“Go out shopping for you?” What year is this? Guarantee-damn-tee these “elderly people” whom you consider so terribly enfeebled have smartphones with internet access.

And so many elderly people know how or are comfortable shopping online. Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

So you expect these elderly people to go out shopping for you? Why do you care about gifts at all?

“Go out shopping for you?” What year is this? Guarantee-damn-tee these “elderly people” whom you consider so terribly enfeebled have smartphones with internet access.

And so many elderly people know how or are comfortable shopping online. Right.

How old are we talking? My mom and her 75+ friends are online shopping pros. It's so much easier for them than going out to the shops.

[Anonymous]

Definitley a troll post. Whenever there is an OP who continues to engage and respond aggressively to most posts, demonstrating that she continues to have her back up, it's a sure sign. If not a troll, she's truly a sad person. The idea that she would contemplate "writing a letter" to air her petty grievance is so strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone gives me a gift, I say thank you, as my parents taught me, and you should, too.

Yep. I did that. That’s not even in question.

You’ve totally avoided the part where I was the only one to receive used items and lied to and told they were bought new.

You must get your jollies attacking people on the boards.

It. Doesn't. Matter.

New, old, lied to - doesn't matter. You say thank you, and then if you don't want it you toss it. That's all you need to do.

If you don't like this lady, don't visit her. That's fine. But choosing not to visit her because she gave you a bad gift is a weird motivation and that's why people are not sympathetic.

Yes, I said thank you for the gifts. Of course. I'm not sure why you keep assuming I didn't say thanks.

No, the lying and old gifts does matter. As other have pointed out here, gifts can be used to show people what you think of them. If you grew up with normal parents, you couldn't know this.

Maybe you mean well yet your view is limited if you don't understand her undertones.

There are posts by others in messed up family dynamics. They get it, and you do not.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just reciprocate in kind. Or have fun finding the best thing you can find on mega sale for $4 or less. Make a game of it!

Most of us do not have time to play these games and junk shop and it’s destroying the environment to add to add to the landfill. If Op sets a no gift policy hope this person respects it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone gives me a gift, I say thank you, as my parents taught me, and you should, too.

Yep. I did that. That’s not even in question.

You’ve totally avoided the part where I was the only one to receive used items and lied to and told they were bought new.

You must get your jollies attacking people on the boards.

It. Doesn't. Matter.

New, old, lied to - doesn't matter. You say thank you, and then if you don't want it you toss it. That's all you need to do.

If you don't like this lady, don't visit her. That's fine. But choosing not to visit her because she gave you a bad gift is a weird motivation and that's why people are not sympathetic.

Yes, I said thank you for the gifts. Of course. I'm not sure why you keep assuming I didn't say thanks.

No, the lying and old gifts does matter. As other have pointed out here, gifts can be used to show people what you think of them. If you grew up with normal parents, you couldn't know this.

Maybe you mean well yet your view is limited if you don't understand her undertones.

There are posts by others in messed up family dynamics. They get it, and you do not.

OP

1000 times nope.

[Anonymous]

I try to shut down gift-giving whenever possible, and I'd do that here, too. But I would also tell myself that this may be their version of a thoughtful gift-- maybe they came upon it and really thought I'd like it.

I don't get offended when people don't spend money on me unless they're insistent that I spend money on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to shut down gift-giving whenever possible, and I'd do that here, too. But I would also tell myself that this may be their version of a thoughtful gift-- maybe they came upon it and really thought I'd like it.

I don't get offended when people don't spend money on me unless they're insistent that I spend money on them.

I don’t care either but it hits different when you’re the only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to shut down gift-giving whenever possible, and I'd do that here, too. But I would also tell myself that this may be their version of a thoughtful gift-- maybe they came upon it and really thought I'd like it.

I don't get offended when people don't spend money on me unless they're insistent that I spend money on them.

I don’t care either but it hits different when you’re the only one.

Because you've decided the things they've saved all these years are intended as insuits.

Being you seems exhausting. But you chose it.