Relative gives “gifts” from closet

[Anonymous]

I realize you feel singled out, but you need to get over it. Accept and donate or ask for no more gifts at the holidays. Simply say you have too much stuff.

[Anonymous]

My elderly parent thanked me for the Christmas presents but then said they didn’t like them, didn’t wish me Merry Christmas, didn’t ask how we or the kids were doing, and didn’t think to send us anything this year, or acknowledge that they forgot. I’m not mad but it’s sad that they have gotten to this point.

[Anonymous]

OP if it makes you feel any better this happens to me and my sister from my stepmother. Every Christmas she wraps up between eight and 10 things that she pulls out of closets and the basement and gives it to me and my sister, now she does this to my daughter. My dad stands there happily and smiles, and pats her on the back for doing such a great job. One year she gave my sister a bracelet my sister had given her 5 years prior. This happens in their remote city when we visit via flight and don’t check bags, so I often have to carry it all home in cloth grocery bags as a carry-on. It stays in the trunk of my car and goes directly to the Goodwill. One year I asked my dad kindly if this tradition could stop as we simply don’t need more things. I did not add that we especially don’t need used things from my stepmother‘s closets. He replied that he was happy to mail it to the house if it was too much for me to carry it on an airplane.

We can’t decide if she’s cheap, passive aggressive, social inept, or all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Smile, say thank you, donate.

You are not entitled to brand new gifts.

This entire idea in your head that their method of gift giving is a sign of hate or something you should talk to them about is just crazy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op your level of anger about this is not normal. You sound extremely odd. Get some better problems

Agree. OP you need to increase your therapy visits or find a new one.

[Anonymous]

Old people ate often weird about money and "stuff." I'd treat it as a sad symptom of illness, smile, and donate/trash. My mom gives me a ton of stuff from her house and that's the only way her hoard is going to leave so I act enthused about it and make it disappear. PP with the plane ride should just stop at a parking lot donation bin on the way to the airport.

[Anonymous]

No! Don’t be rude. Just trash or donate.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m guessing you’re very young.

[Anonymous]

Birds of a feather. You all sound classless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lean into it and kill them with kindness. "OMG, is this purse vintage? I looked this up and it hasn't been sold in 30 years. This must have cost a fortune! Oh, you shouldn't have!"

Do you have a personality disorder?

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you just have a sense of humor about it? People have no sense of humor anymore particularly young people. I would be excited to see what crap i was getting each year.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, I often gift from my closet. I specifically buy gifts when I’m overseas to help the local economy and have nice gifts on hand. I bought some beautiful beaded evening bags that took me 10 years to gift. Same with some silk cosmetics bags in fun colors with contrast stitching. It sounds like people may not like it, even though I buy the same things for myself. Oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

The only way you do this is with your thinking, not whether you show up.

[Anonymous]

This is not a normal response for an adult OP. Are you poor? Unable to buy yourself what you need? Why not just donate the item and move on? Obviously no need to attend Christmas somewhere you don’t enjoy it, but it’s weird to fixate on that. Most adults don’t need the random Christmas gifts they receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if it makes you feel any better this happens to me and my sister from my stepmother. Every Christmas she wraps up between eight and 10 things that she pulls out of closets and the basement and gives it to me and my sister, now she does this to my daughter. My dad stands there happily and smiles, and pats her on the back for doing such a great job. One year she gave my sister a bracelet my sister had given her 5 years prior. This happens in their remote city when we visit via flight and don’t check bags, so I often have to carry it all home in cloth grocery bags as a carry-on. It stays in the trunk of my car and goes directly to the Goodwill. One year I asked my dad kindly if this tradition could stop as we simply don’t need more things. I did not add that we especially don’t need used things from my stepmother‘s closets. He replied that he was happy to mail it to the house if it was too much for me to carry it on an airplane.

We can’t decide if she’s cheap, passive aggressive, social inept, or all of the above.

I’d do what pp said and just leave it all there in the house in a closet when you leave.