Relative gives “gifts” from closet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

So you expect these elderly people to go out shopping for you? Why do you care about gifts at all?

“Go out shopping for you?” What year is this? Guarantee-damn-tee these “elderly people” whom you consider so terribly enfeebled have smartphones with internet access. :roll:

You
Aren’t
Entitled
To
A
New
Gift

Used junk isn't a gift.

+1

Louder for people in the back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if it makes you feel any better this happens to me and my sister from my stepmother. Every Christmas she wraps up between eight and 10 things that she pulls out of closets and the basement and gives it to me and my sister, now she does this to my daughter. My dad stands there happily and smiles, and pats her on the back for doing such a great job. One year she gave my sister a bracelet my sister had given her 5 years prior. This happens in their remote city when we visit via flight and don’t check bags, so I often have to carry it all home in cloth grocery bags as a carry-on. It stays in the trunk of my car and goes directly to the Goodwill. One year I asked my dad kindly if this tradition could stop as we simply don’t need more things. I did not add that we especially don’t need used things from my stepmother‘s closets. He replied that he was happy to mail it to the house if it was too much for me to carry it on an airplane.

We can’t decide if she’s cheap, passive aggressive, social inept, or all of the above.

This is terrible. I’m sorry this happens to you. It also is annoying the man stands around doing nothing in this situation.

I agree it’s hard to know why they do it.

I do not want to end up like these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op your level of anger about this is not normal. You sound extremely odd. Get some better problems

Agree. OP you need to increase your therapy visits or find a new one.

You need therapy, and I hope you can find help.

Impersonating a mental health professional is uncool at best.

Since you can’t diagnose people, you’d best leave that to the people with that training and education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lean into it and kill them with kindness. "OMG, is this purse vintage? I looked this up and it hasn't been sold in 30 years. This must have cost a fortune! Oh, you shouldn't have!"

Do you have a personality disorder?

They are being funny. You have no clue what a personality disorder is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

How can you both be the only person there and there be others who are getting better presents than you?

Your reading comprehension is off.

I never said I was the only person there. I’d explain it to you but it is not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're reaching here.

You said it only happened to you, but you also said two people got the old notebooks.

And then you said you would stop visiting and the relative would end up alone, but you also said a whole group of people were there this year during the gift exchange.

This isn't about you. I'm glad you're going to talk to your therapist about it.

The old person didn’t lie about the notebooks, so that’s not the issue.

If I don’t go, the others won’t go. We have prioritized this old person for five years so we can just prioritize another old person who doesn’t do this.

You’re not really glad. I like your passive aggressive comment at the end. Touché. Hope that keeps you warm tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

You are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the more OP posts, the more unsympathetic she becomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op your level of anger about this is not normal. You sound extremely odd. Get some better problems

Agree. OP you need to increase your therapy visits or find a new one.

You need therapy, and I hope you can find help.

Impersonating a mental health professional is uncool at best.

Since you can’t diagnose people, you’d best leave that to the people with that training and education.

Who is impersonating? Are you not capable of reading that OP is going to therapy already?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

You are a horrible person.

Probably a sock puppeting troll.

[Anonymous]

Definitely a letter is the way to go. Post a draft here and we'll help you finalize it.

Just one question. You said that you're the only one in the group to receive the special treatment, and then also that they would be alone if you were to not attend. So which is it, or should this relative be giving you a dictionary so you can look up words like "alone" and "group"?

Troll score D+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, I often gift from my closet. I specifically buy gifts when I’m overseas to help the local economy and have nice gifts on hand. I bought some beautiful beaded evening bags that took me 10 years to gift. Same with some silk cosmetics bags in fun colors with contrast stitching. It sounds like people may not like it, even though I buy the same things for myself. Oh well!

Fine if you think it's something the recipient would like. Cosmetics/toiletries bags can be really useul for all sorts of thing. I have a drawer with zippered cosmetic clutches and airline passed zip cloth bags that accumulated. Just sits and now used by GC for crayons and markers. Not given as present but as here it is - use it for stuff. This sort of thing https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/gift-with-any-75-lancome-purchase?ID=5367292&CategoryID=6864

[Anonymous]

This is so sad. My grandmother passed two years ago and I would do just about anything for another day with her. I would not care that she gave me a used scarf from her closet made of wool (I’m allergic). Just to be thought of enough to be given a gift is so special. Maybe they were self conscious or thought you would like it. Who cares how much they donated? It’s about being together not what you gain. Who cares if it has to be a red cup? Be thankful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way to make it stop?

They actually told me they “shopped local.” But the town they live in is so small that I doubted they could find this item in a local store.

The supposedly new item had no tags so I googled it and found it is a vintage item from the 90s from a European country they traveled to in the 90s.

They also gave two of us old notebooks. Last year, two of us received these large rayon scarves that you wrap all around your body.

I get it. The relative is cheap and probably hates me.

They have plenty of money as they donated $10,000 to an organization no problem.

I’m thinking about writing a letter to them about it.

What would you do?

Accept it and say thanks. Don’t be mad if you see it for millions on antiques roadshow. But pearls before swine as they say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you really be okay being the only one in the group who receives old and smelly items year after year?

My feelings are hurt, and I care that they hate me so much to do this.

They must be unhappy inside to act this way.

My response will be not to return for Xmas. Giving someone else power over my Xmas is not going to happen again.

Win-win solution.

Sadly, it’ll be worse for them as they will be alone, and they don’t like that. For five years, I’ve prioritized visiting them since their spouse died.

Actions have consequences though.

You are a horrible person.

Probably a sock puppeting troll.

Yep.