New social media trend from Sweden: the 'Soft girl' ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother and grandmother were both in traditional marriages, both widowed in their 50s/60s and both urged me in the strongest possible terms to have a career and be able to provide for myself financially. A man, even a good man, is not a plan.

My mom has been proud of me my whole life for my career and advanced degree, but as I approach 40s she is starting to pity me for having long commute, working 2 shifts at home and being fat (at size 2) lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very mindful. Very demure.

The woman who coined that phrase was talking about her office make up. She wasn’t a kept woman.

[Anonymous]

No comment on the delightful Swedish word “Ungdomsbarometern”?

[Anonymous]

Most couples don't marry in Scandinavian countries.

Every generation rediscovers this idea in a new form. It's the mating game.

There was The Rules in the 90s. It was the same stuff. How to be attractive to men.

Then the real relationship starts and people evolve. Attraction us where it starts though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is being fueled by the internet, largely tiktok, across the world. It will have serious ramifications on women in the workplace and I predict we will see more women opting for the tradwife lifestyle.

But I'm focusing on the upside, which is that more women dropping out of the workplace means more opportunities for smart ambitious women like me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother and grandmother were both in traditional marriages, both widowed in their 50s/60s and both urged me in the strongest possible terms to have a career and be able to provide for myself financially. A man, even a good man, is not a plan.

My mom has been proud of me my whole life for my career and advanced degree, but as I approach 40s she is starting to pity me for having long commute, working 2 shifts at home and being fat (at size 2) lol!

Conversely, think about your SAH mom friends.

- do you pity them? Look down on them?

And the mothers of your SAH friends: do you think their mothers are ashamed of their own daughters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother and grandmother were both in traditional marriages, both widowed in their 50s/60s and both urged me in the strongest possible terms to have a career and be able to provide for myself financially. A man, even a good man, is not a plan.

My mom has been proud of me my whole life for my career and advanced degree, but as I approach 40s she is starting to pity me for having long commute, working 2 shifts at home and being fat (at size 2) lol!

Conversely, think about your SAH mom friends.

- do you pity them? Look down on them?

And the mothers of your SAH friends: do you think their mothers are ashamed of their own daughters?

I don't think about their mom's opinion. It's interesting you think about details like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother and grandmother were both in traditional marriages, both widowed in their 50s/60s and both urged me in the strongest possible terms to have a career and be able to provide for myself financially. A man, even a good man, is not a plan.

That's why every family needs to earn, save and invest and insure so if needed you've a backup plan. This option isn't for broke people with debt.

+1 If you put away 100% of one spouse's money for five years (which you should do anyway if you hope to live on one income), it will pay off in later years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For once in my life I feel ahead of the trend! I have been a SAHM since 2008 and became minimalist shortly after. I'm happy for these people that they are realizing a calmer, simpler life without so much consumerism can be extremely fulfilling.

What will you do once the kids don't need you as much? What would happen if your DH dies or you divorce? Is his life insurance worth $10mil? Because $1mil would not be enough if you have kids and a mortgage. Or maybe you have wealthy parents.

Most women should not rely on a man as their plan long term. Sure, if you have kids, take some time off, but if you completely step back from the workplace, you are basically playing Russian Roulette with your and your kids' futures.

[Anonymous]

I totally support "traditional" gender roles and being a "soft girl." My great-grandmother got married at 22, had five kids in eight years, and used to do things like spend 48 hours straight in the kitchen/farmyard to slaughter and process a whole hog. Her mother-in-law raised 17 kids (can't remember the division, it was something like 8 of her own then 9 step-kids after her first husband died) that she had to feed and do laundry for--this was before electricity or indoor plumbing got to her part of the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For once in my life I feel ahead of the trend! I have been a SAHM since 2008 and became minimalist shortly after. I'm happy for these people that they are realizing a calmer, simpler life without so much consumerism can be extremely fulfilling.

What will you do once the kids don't need you as much? What would happen if your DH dies or you divorce? Is his life insurance worth $10mil? Because $1mil would not be enough if you have kids and a mortgage. Or maybe you have wealthy parents.

If he dies I am set for life and more. We have a lot of assets. If we divorce, I’m still totally fine on half the assets. We have no mortgage, the kids are teens and their college is already saved fully. I also sub at our local preschool and probably will work there on a more regular basis once my youngest leaves for college.

Most women should not rely on a man as their plan long term. Sure, if you have kids, take some time off, but if you completely step back from the workplace, you are basically playing Russian Roulette with your and your kids' futures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For once in my life I feel ahead of the trend! I have been a SAHM since 2008 and became minimalist shortly after. I'm happy for these people that they are realizing a calmer, simpler life without so much consumerism can be extremely fulfilling.

What will you do once the kids don't need you as much? What would happen if your DH dies or you divorce? Is his life insurance worth $10mil? Because $1mil would not be enough if you have kids and a mortgage. Or maybe you have wealthy parents.

Most women should not rely on a man as their plan long term. Sure, if you have kids, take some time off, but if you completely step back from the workplace, you are basically playing Russian Roulette with your and your kids' futures.

If he dies I am set for life and more. We have a lot of assets. If we divorce, I’m still totally fine on half the assets. We have no mortgage, the kids are teens and their college is already saved fully. I also sub at our local preschool and probably will work there on a more regular basis once my youngest leaves for college.

[Anonymous]

When it’s not Swedish women doing it, this is called a stay at home girl girlfriend. I’ve been been seeing occasional articles about this “new” trend for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting! Noticed on the BBC site this AM that the latest trend out of Sweden is for employed women to abandon careers to become what the Swedish call 'Soft girls.' This is the artical:


https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0j1wwypygxo

At first I was kinda horrified; NGL. But maybe this could be overall good? Im intrigued.

Let me guess a different way to trad wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a bit on WTOP this morning about “trad wives” and they mentioned it is “sweeping Sweden” and there was an interview with a woman in Sweden who was going on about how her life is “softer.”

Weird.

Ha!

Suck it, losers!! You were wrong: this is NEW, and it’s SWEDISH.

Say it: you were wrong!!