New social media trend from Sweden: the 'Soft girl' ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dang another black trend co-opted by white people. At least acknowledge the origins!

It's really crazy there's no mention of nigerian soft girls since it's the same news outlet. Do some journalism BBC!
https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20221202-soft-girl-what-it-really-means-to-lead-a-soft-life

Well, I don't know about that. And this Swedish trend seems uniquely Swedish, it says "“It’s about leaning away from this ‘girl boss’ ideal that we've seen for a lot of years, where there are very, very high demands for success in every aspect of life,” explains Johanna Göransson, a researcher for Ungdomsbarometern."

So thats different.

But the "boss girl" push really hit home, since DC seems all about pushing the "boss girl" identity. Hard.

Did you even read the other article posted? That's the exact same verbiage - NOT swedish, NOT new.

"Arguably, the Soft Black Girl phenomenon is a backlash against the persistent "strong black woman" trope in our culture, which, alongside the "girl boss" ideal, can feel like a burden, continuously demanding our energy, whether at work or in relationships with others. The 'Soft Life' offers us an alternative, and makes it okay to expend energy on ourselves instead. As black women, we're rarely given the opportunity to imagine and dream a life for ourselves on our own terms."

It's also not about being a tradwife or stay at home girlfriend.

"the soft life, for me, goes beyond an aesthetic to a deeper meaning. It's explorative and creative, allowing me to experiment with approaches to work-life balance, finding the confidence to set boundaries and sit with the discomfort of doing so, question automatic responses, seek healthy coping mechanisms, and build the ones that feel nourishing into my daily routine. Wild swimming, somatics, hiking and nature writing are all things that I have in my control and that don't cost a penny. How often do we ask ourselves what we need, what makes us feel good, and then find ways to meet those needs without having to rely on others? Softness is ultimately rooted in self-care, and is how I experience empowerment. "

“Wild swimming” lol. These “aesthetics” are out of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^or girl dinner. Whatever. The way we always eat and never thought to brag? share?

I rarely eat like that.

Eat like what? Wtf is girl dinner supposed to mean?

It's when you're alone and want a dinner that is easy, usually doesn't involve cooking or cleanup, and wouldn't be considered a "real meal" by a lot of people. So like, a glass of wine and some cheese/charcuterie with a hunk of baguette.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/08/style/girl-dinner.html?unlocked_article_code=1.fE4.X0T0.NYV2YGBlVT0K&smid=url-share

I absolutely hate this. It's so regressive. Like a woman alone does not merit a full home cooked meal. I get being tired and not wanting to cook, but OTOH it's implying women should subsist on air and a few handfuls of popcorn, and actual meals are just for men/families. I am single and enjoy cooking healthy hot meals. I can save the leftovers for tomorrow and/or know how to make quick meals in less than 10 minutes. I deserve a home cooked meal at the end of the workday as much as anyone else!

And I’m single and don’t give a shit about having a hot meal. I’ve apparently been “girl eating” my whole life. It’s not a comment on how much I value myself, I promise.

I’m married and don’t give a damn about this cooking a “hot meal” stuff. And when my husband wants one, he can make it himself.

He often chooses crackers and peanut butter and cereal. I guess that is “boy dinner”?

We are both lawyers and don’t have any time for any of this stuff. And it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Yes, let’s encourage women to be financially dependent on men. What could the harm be in that? As long as you are “soft”…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand why some women become so outraged when other women make different choices than they do.

Then perhaps you should take a women’s studies class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s likely a thing in Sweden because Scandinavian countries have really pushed equality and men and women have very similar expectations.

While in theory it should be easier to be a woman there it doesn’t seem that way in practice.

Not surprised women are pushing back.

I have a few friends who live in Sweden and they rave about it. They’re all lawyers married to hot skilled tradesmen who are hands on dads with zero ego and machismo, and the maternity leave, day care and health care situations are amazing. The only thing they don’t like is the food.

Well, that makes no sense because they have that Ligonberry stuff. And meatballs and gravy. I would love it.

[Anonymous]

I can understand the rage if a highly educated woman on professional track leaves her career to have and rase kids but I don't get why leaving dead end retail job to take care of her partner, baby and home when they can afford it? Sweden has social and governmental safety nets to bounce back when she needs/wants it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting! Noticed on the BBC site this AM that the latest trend out of Sweden is for employed women to abandon careers to become what the Swedish call 'Soft girls.' This is the artical:


https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0j1wwypygxo

At first I was kinda horrified; NGL. But maybe this could be overall good? Im intrigued.

I agree with it. I have not worked since I had my children 20 years ago (have business interests so I have an income as a silent partner) but do not report to an office and I love it. Moms I know that try to do it all are stressed out and not doing it all. Something usually gives and sadly it is their kids. The moms go to work, they work out, they look great, they attend social events with friends, but what they are missing is their kids. Some day I think they will realize.

The extreme privilege dripping from this post…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dang another black trend co-opted by white people. At least acknowledge the origins!

It's really crazy there's no mention of nigerian soft girls since it's the same news outlet. Do some journalism BBC!
https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20221202-soft-girl-what-it-really-means-to-lead-a-soft-life

Well, I don't know about that. And this Swedish trend seems uniquely Swedish, it says "“It’s about leaning away from this ‘girl boss’ ideal that we've seen for a lot of years, where there are very, very high demands for success in every aspect of life,” explains Johanna Göransson, a researcher for Ungdomsbarometern."

So thats different.

But the "boss girl" push really hit home, since DC seems all about pushing the "boss girl" identity. Hard.

Both are extremes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the gist of this is that a man is the plan?

Also she is a plan for that man. Its not like he isn't benefiting from this lifestyle. If they are happy, what's our problem?

[Anonymous]

Sweden probably has the highest percentage of soft dads as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the gist of this is that a man is the plan?

Also she is a plan for that man. Its not like he isn't benefiting from this lifestyle. If they are happy, what's our problem?

Money

She really doesn't have any

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad wife is a wife (probably a mother too), soft girl is more like trad wife prep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let’s encourage women to be financially dependent on men. What could the harm be in that? As long as you are “soft”…

You can't impose American fears on Swedish women. Their society is far ahead in women's rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad wife is a wife (probably a mother too), soft girl is more like trad wife prep.

Marriage isn't a forced necessity for Swedish couples. Its merely a personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the gist of this is that a man is the plan?

Also she is a plan for that man. Its not like he isn't benefiting from this lifestyle. If they are happy, what's our problem?

Is she though?
Men have a tendency not to value domestic labor. And unfortunately many lose interest as women age.

Trad relationships work wonderfully when the man absolutely loves the woman and values her contribution to the household. My parents’ relationship is like that. But even they advised me not to ever depend on a man or give up my income.