New social media trend from Sweden: the 'Soft girl' ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For once in my life I feel ahead of the trend! I have been a SAHM since 2008 and became minimalist shortly after. I'm happy for these people that they are realizing a calmer, simpler life without so much consumerism can be extremely fulfilling.

What will you do once the kids don't need you as much? What would happen if your DH dies or you divorce? Is his life insurance worth $10mil? Because $1mil would not be enough if you have kids and a mortgage. Or maybe you have wealthy parents.

Most women should not rely on a man as their plan long term. Sure, if you have kids, take some time off, but if you completely step back from the workplace, you are basically playing Russian Roulette with your and your kids' futures.

Not PP, but I agree. I only became a SAHM because I have the safety net of a large trust fund. With three kids and a (ex) husband who travelled 100 nights a year, it was a great choice for me.

That said- I’d have been completely F*ucked financially by my “breadwinner” husband who became an alcoholic had I relied on child support or alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For once in my life I feel ahead of the trend! I have been a SAHM since 2008 and became minimalist shortly after. I'm happy for these people that they are realizing a calmer, simpler life without so much consumerism can be extremely fulfilling.

What will you do once the kids don't need you as much? What would happen if your DH dies or you divorce? Is his life insurance worth $10mil? Because $1mil would not be enough if you have kids and a mortgage. Or maybe you have wealthy parents.

Most women should not rely on a man as their plan long term. Sure, if you have kids, take some time off, but if you completely step back from the workplace, you are basically playing Russian Roulette with your and your kids' futures.

We have 2 high incomes and we don’t have mortgage. It’s a luxury not a necessity. As a high tax payer I am more than happy to fund “soft” moms basic needs since statistically most husbands don’t drop dead in their prime. hey I am already funding illegals immigrants stipend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally support "traditional" gender roles and being a "soft girl." My great-grandmother got married at 22, had five kids in eight years, and used to do things like spend 48 hours straight in the kitchen/farmyard to slaughter and process a whole hog. Her mother-in-law raised 17 kids (can't remember the division, it was something like 8 of her own then 9 step-kids after her first husband died) that she had to feed and do laundry for--this was before electricity or indoor plumbing got to her part of the country.

I grow up in mid west and half of my friends have stay home moms. They have wonderful relationships and those friends also end up being SAH moms with 3-4 children. Those people are paying for my social security in 30 years so I am not going to speak ill things about the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the gist of this is that a man is the plan?

Also she is a plan for that man. Its not like he isn't benefiting from this lifestyle. If they are happy, what's our problem?

Is she though?
Men have a tendency not to value domestic labor. And unfortunately many lose interest as women age.

Trad relationships work wonderfully when the man absolutely loves the woman and values her contribution to the household. My parents’ relationship is like that. But even they advised me not to ever depend on a man or give up my income.

I have high income, when I drop dead in my 40s due to decades of stressful job, commute and family commitments, my income, savings and insurance policies will probably go to DH’s next wife, who is likely “soft” and will screw over my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad wife is a wife (probably a mother too), soft girl is more like trad wife prep.

Marriage isn't a forced necessity for Swedish couples. Its merely a personal choice.

It’s a lot easier to be a non married soft girl - or boy - in Sweden than in the US. Sweden has a social safety net for non working people that the US does not. Women in the US either have to work or get married to at the very least get access to healthcare.

[Anonymous]

Its a great trend if your view of women is that they are like plants or pets or young children. That they aren't able to be independent or manage adult lives and adult responsibilities. That they need to be taken care as they aren't competent and capable like men. The view that a man has to be the plan because a women can't do much and can't manage an independent adult life isn't new and certainly not a trend that is worth emulating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a great trend if your view of women is that they are like plants or pets or young children. That they aren't able to be independent or manage adult lives and adult responsibilities. That they need to be taken care as they aren't competent and capable like men. The view that a man has to be the plan because a women can't do much and can't manage an independent adult life isn't new and certainly not a trend that is worth emulating.

No it is a great trend if you can get someone to pay you a salary to be their girlfriend. Could you imagine if the genders were reversed? It’s just another woman privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a great trend if your view of women is that they are like plants or pets or young children. That they aren't able to be independent or manage adult lives and adult responsibilities. That they need to be taken care as they aren't competent and capable like men. The view that a man has to be the plan because a women can't do much and can't manage an independent adult life isn't new and certainly not a trend that is worth emulating.

PP, like many others, seem to look down on the women who choose this new Swedish lifestyle trend.

Meaning: you wouldn’t approve of your daughter’s choice here?

Time for an S/o thread to explore this view (as it is your view, not your daughter’s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a great trend if your view of women is that they are like plants or pets or young children. That they aren't able to be independent or manage adult lives and adult responsibilities. That they need to be taken care as they aren't competent and capable like men. The view that a man has to be the plan because a women can't do much and can't manage an independent adult life isn't new and certainly not a trend that is worth emulating.

Personally I will take a soft Swedish dad
We have increased productivity across all farming/manufacturing, there is no reason for everyone to continue to grind like slaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad Girlfriend is a thing too

[Anonymous]

We should have never told men we can work too. Let them do it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No comment on the delightful Swedish word “Ungdomsbarometern”?

I prefer “Lagom.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad wife is a wife (probably a mother too), soft girl is more like trad wife prep.

Marriage isn't a forced necessity for Swedish couples. Its merely a personal choice.

It’s a lot easier to be a non married soft girl - or boy - in Sweden than in the US. Sweden has a social safety net for non working people that the US does not. Women in the US either have to work or get married to at the very least get access to healthcare.

I guess. Swedish is way more expensive and salaries are lower. Taxes are higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s likely a thing in Sweden because Scandinavian countries have really pushed equality and men and women have very similar expectations.

While in theory it should be easier to be a woman there it doesn’t seem that way in practice.

Not surprised women are pushing back.

I have a few friends who live in Sweden and they rave about it. They’re all lawyers married to hot skilled tradesmen who are hands on dads with zero ego and machismo, and the maternity leave, day care and health care situations are amazing. The only thing they don’t like is the food.

Well, that makes no sense because they have that Ligonberry stuff. And meatballs and gravy. I would love it.

Yeah but that’s all they have. You can’t put lingonberries on everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean Trad Wife?

Trad Girlfriend is a thing too

That's not Trad, by definition. It's hoochie.