Elegant comeback ideas for public school parents who

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they saying "well my kid went to Public HS and is going to Same Ivy" or are they just...sharing where their kid got it?

This. If someone is saying "Well Larla is also going to Yale and that's without having blown 300k on private tuition" then by all means say "Congratulations but I have no regrets about private school because it was the learning environment we thought would best prepare our kids for college and beyond." Like just don't engage on the premise that private school is about getting into top colleges (especially because this is not a good reason to send kids to private schools!).

But I suspect that what is actually happening is that OP knows people who are just sharing the good news of their kid getting into top schools and OP is mentally doing the math on how those kids were able to do that without spending money on private school tuition and feeling like a chump and wants to one-up these people somehow as an act of defensiveness. This is all about OP's insecurities and nothing to do with the other people. As I said, sending your kids to private just to get into highly competitive colleges is a fool's errand -- it doesn't always work out that way and it's way too much money to view as an investment in a specific outcome. You have to choose private for it's intrinsic qualities and accept that college is going to work out the way it works out -- not every kid is Ivy League material even at very competitive private HSs.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. It wasn’t about college admissions it was about self segregation as we are better than you no matter what.

Nearly spit up my afternoon coffee. Thank you for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say, wow they both have had COMPLETELY different journeys and experiences and now they get to go to the same school and learn from one another. And then follow up with a question that shows your kid has a better educational experience, like, “Jenny was thrilled when her Building, Engineering and Design group went to visit the Tesla engineering plant and saw them demonstrate blah blah blah - did Buddy Bud at The Worst Public School ever get a chance to do that too?”

The odds of them 'learning from one another' or even associating with one another are unlikely. Private school networks don't end at college, they firm up in competitive clubs, study groups, and sororities and fraternities. They probably won't be the same major and it's not like you magically become friends with everyone in a 400 or 500 student freshman lecture hall at UVA or UMD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

The world needs ditch diggers, too.

[Anonymous]

Love these threads. Never change, Privates forum.

[Anonymous]

Agree. So many elegant replies.

😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. It wasn’t about college admissions it was about self segregation as we are better than you no matter what.

+1. But yes I totally enjoy all of the private school kids attending Tech and JMU, I can't lie.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the most pathetic, embarrassing, and entitled threads I've ever read. Congrats DCUM private school forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

Your kid was well educated in a community with facilities and access to so many things - with that is no comparison to public schools. That is what you can tell them.

Honestly, I really do agree with the above, and think that is precisely why you should NOT indulge in any snide comebacks or anything of the like. They are justifying to themselves the fact that they did not find their kids’ educations worth spending that money on, and they are relieved. Just smile and nod

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best "come back" or revenge, is success. Just wait- wait until your kids succeed and theirs don't....and then say it to yourself and nobody else....because the pissing contest is just ridiculous, be nice.

Wow - what a terrible thing to say. The real message here is the OP - and others (like the PP) - are upset that OPs kid does not have a leg up to a public school kid and now want to put the mom in her PLACE??? Yikes. This kind of thinking is why Trump won people.

+100. OP and many others are clearly bothered by this because deep down you believe that you are better than public school families. And this means your kid would go to better schools and have a leg up on college and life. You’ve been or are walking around wearing your kids private school like some badge of honor or prestige and now that your public school friends/family/acquaintances are having the same college success it’s digging at you. Congratulate the other family or if this is truly passive aggressiveness (which I suspect it isn’t) directly ask why they keep bringing things up and address any misconception head on, then move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

Well, what is your truth? If you don't believe that your kid benefitted from private school in ways that are not reflected in acceptances, that's a fair point. If you do, just tell them. Looking for "an elegant comeback" is a cop out.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people taking a go at mind reading the “passive aggressive” parent.

I have been both a private and public school parent. I find many private school parents elitist but am not going to imply that or say that to them, or be passive aggressive about it. Lots of elitist public school parents out there as well, but to a lesser degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

"I'm sorry you're poor."

[Anonymous]

"They are going to love it." How about ignore (what you think) is a put down. All you have to manage is cordial, if that's all you can do.

By choosing private you were saying the neighborhood kids weren't an acceptable peer group.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had your problems, OP.