Elegant comeback ideas for public school parents who

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they saying "well my kid went to Public HS and is going to Same Ivy" or are they just...sharing where their kid got it?

This. If someone is saying "Well Larla is also going to Yale and that's without having blown 300k on private tuition" then by all means say "Congratulations but I have no regrets about private school because it was the learning environment we thought would best prepare our kids for college and beyond." Like just don't engage on the premise that private school is about getting into top colleges (especially because this is not a good reason to send kids to private schools!).

But I suspect that what is actually happening is that OP knows people who are just sharing the good news of their kid getting into top schools and OP is mentally doing the math on how those kids were able to do that without spending money on private school tuition and feeling like a chump and wants to one-up these people somehow as an act of defensiveness. This is all about OP's insecurities and nothing to do with the other people. As I said, sending your kids to private just to get into highly competitive colleges is a fool's errand -- it doesn't always work out that way and it's way too much money to view as an investment in a specific outcome. You have to choose private for it's intrinsic qualities and accept that college is going to work out the way it works out -- not every kid is Ivy League material even at very competitive private HSs.

+1

-10000

[Anonymous]

Why is it only OP is allowed to state where her DD got in but the other parent is not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for oyou/them!"

"I'm sorry you're poor."

I live in NYC and know lots of families that can afford private but choose public. It’s just a different set of values, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had your problems, OP.

This comment really highlights how ridiculous OP is being.

She sent her kid to the school of their choice, something many public school families would view as a luxury. And now her kid has succeeded at getting into a great school! This should be one of those moments in life where OP just enjoys her blessings. Instead she apparently is reading "passive aggression" into *multiple* interactions with public school parents to the degree she thinks she needs a "come back."

Let's just appreciate how small and insecure OP must be here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

So the OP should just sit with the insult in the face of rudeness?

Yes! You don’t have to meet perceived insult with insult. Let me guess who you voted for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

Well, what is your truth? If you don't believe that your kid benefitted from private school in ways that are not reflected in acceptances, that's a fair point. If you do, just tell them. Looking for "an elegant comeback" is a cop out.

It’s astonishing how many people think every kid admitted to say UVA or Georgetown for example have the exact same stats and capabilities. You think there is no gap between the top and bottom quartiles? The gaps are extreme, and that’s before factoring in soft skills and emotional IQ, and also, the private school network pubkic kids will never gain entry to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they saying "well my kid went to Public HS and is going to Same Ivy" or are they just...sharing where their kid got it?

This. If someone is saying "Well Larla is also going to Yale and that's without having blown 300k on private tuition" then by all means say "Congratulations but I have no regrets about private school because it was the learning environment we thought would best prepare our kids for college and beyond." Like just don't engage on the premise that private school is about getting into top colleges (especially because this is not a good reason to send kids to private schools!).

But I suspect that what is actually happening is that OP knows people who are just sharing the good news of their kid getting into top schools and OP is mentally doing the math on how those kids were able to do that without spending money on private school tuition and feeling like a chump and wants to one-up these people somehow as an act of defensiveness. This is all about OP's insecurities and nothing to do with the other people. As I said, sending your kids to private just to get into highly competitive colleges is a fool's errand -- it doesn't always work out that way and it's way too much money to view as an investment in a specific outcome. You have to choose private for it's intrinsic qualities and accept that college is going to work out the way it works out -- not every kid is Ivy League material even at very competitive private HSs.

+1

The odds are like one in a million for two private and public parents in the same social orbit to both have same year kids admitted to Yale. OP’s hypothetical is going to be second and third tier schools with relatively large admitted pools - e.g. UVA, Michigan, Georgetown.

[Anonymous]

Nothing elegant about what you're feeling if you need a "come back" other than "congratulations!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

Good question. Whatever happened to a simple "congratulations " and moving on? Regardless of if you think there's more behind it.

[Anonymous]

If what they said even means what you think it means, maybe it’s a bit of payback for all the years of you looking down on them for not sending their kid to private and insinuating that you love your kids more? That they are doing the equivalent of feeding their kids poison?

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it only OP is allowed to state where her DD got in but the other parent is not?

Because OP paid for private school. She's better than public school parents and is annoyed that those lowly public school kids might have achievements similar to her kid.

[Anonymous]

Since most private school kids are in private school because they have special needs and required the smaller classroom environment, I would think that the most accurate response would be “yes, we are so grateful that the private school was able to provide the additional supports our student needed in order to catch up to your student so that now they can be in the same academic environment “

[Anonymous]

It's hilarious someone who had means to send kid to private school and kid had all those extras feels insulted by someone proudly saying their kid got in from public school. Actually, that kid did really well. Are you secretly miffed by suspicions public school kid might have more raw ability, lol?

You could always say, "Oh, I am so glad Larloz got one of those mercy admits!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

Why are you insecure and resentful? You do you and congratulate them on their good luck. Next you'll find group of state colleges who secured same jobs or professions as your kids. Its not about competing with them but improving your children's odds with your income.

[Anonymous]

*state college parents