Elegant comeback ideas for public school parents who

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

So the OP should just sit with the insult in the face of rudeness?

Yes. The best reaction to a snide parenting comment is to completely misunderstand it because you are such a good and genuine person.

What else are you going to do, put down their kid?

Completely misunderstanding it IS a comeback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

The fact that you are looking for a comeback to this (and you are projecting something the other person didn’t say) means you are actually a wee bit insecure about this and the inference hit a nerve. It’s super weird when private school parents pretend they don’t hope their investment in tuition produces success and good college admission outcomes.

X1000

Which was it, a truly better education or pay to play to maintain/enhance social status.

If it was a truly better education, you would most likely not be bothered at all.

[Anonymous]

Reactivity is considered low e.q. and poor form. Bland graciousness, as recommended, is considered the elegant comeback.

[Anonymous]

Or they're...proud? I don't think comebacks work in the direction you're describing. That's just...being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's wonderful!"
If I'm closer and more emotionally invested with someone I'll say how interesting it is that we all do things differently based on our backgrounds, our research, our gut instincts and our kids can still wind up in the same place. Because it IS interesting.

Our socio-economic standing, too! Wow!

[Anonymous]

"It's just so incredibly impressive that Kaedyn was able to pull himself up by his bootstraps all the way into Harvard, especially when he had so many obstacles like bomb threats disrupting his learning. Huge congrats to him AND to you! If he ever needs a ride up to Boston I am sure Hannah would be happy to drive him there...I mean, the Tesla drives for her mostly, but you know what I mean."

[Anonymous]

Can't help but laugh at adults who convince themselves all the kids who get into a particular college are equal. Life doesn't reset when they all get on campus. And in an era of kids keeping their teen friend group for the rest of their lives, well worth the money to put them in a setting with amazing kids from great families.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t we lucky that both of our children have forged amazing paths? I’m really glad for them!

Doesn’t have to be a comeback. Why not join them?

I would never spend $500 on a pair of pants. But friends do. When I look cute in my Target joggers, my wealthy friends compliment me. If they are wearing some designer garb, I compliment them. No need to make others feel bad. And if they are feeling insecure, be kind. You are lucky that you don’t feel insecure.

Grave

We all need a bit more of it.

[Anonymous]

Worst autocorrect. Apologies.

Grace! We all need more grace.

[Anonymous]

I would not assume they are trying to one up you or shame you, just make a connection with same age kids and possible same college.

[Anonymous]

"I love that for them - congratulations" is appropriate. Many public school kids get into great schools, as they should. This shouldn't make you feel any sort of way about your schooling decisions and if someone is throwing shade - you also don't need to explain your decisions. There is more to school choice than college outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I hear your frustration. I was a public school kid who went to a fancy college and at the time, I thought the way these other parents do - it seemed frivolous to spend so much on education.

Two things changed that opinion:

1. I had a roommate who went to Sidwell. My math and science education was on par with anyone’s (and that was my major), but the way she had thought about books and art and history was a result of way deeper thought than I had been exposed to.

2. Now that I have kids in private - it isn’t about getting them into a fancy college, though that obviously would be nice. It’s about challenging them to be best version of themselves and the attention/chance for individualization they get with resources and small class size is what I’m seeking.

I think these parents you are dealing with just don’t understand that and you are lucky to have life circumstances to appreciate those benefits. I think if you focus on this as an “IYKYK” situation, it makes it easier to let the comments slide because they just don’t get what you value. And that’s okay - but explaining it is kind of obnoxious and you should just appreciate what you have.

[Anonymous]

The best "come back" or revenge, is success. Just wait- wait until your kids succeed and theirs don't....and then say it to yourself and nobody else....because the pissing contest is just ridiculous, be nice.

[Anonymous]

Tell them that your DC didn't have to dodge bullets, watch their peers get knocked up, or pay off drug dealers to get into X University.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear your frustration. I was a public school kid who went to a fancy college and at the time, I thought the way these other parents do - it seemed frivolous to spend so much on education.

Two things changed that opinion:

1. I had a roommate who went to Sidwell. My math and science education was on par with anyone’s (and that was my major), but the way she had thought about books and art and history was a result of way deeper thought than I had been exposed to.

2. Now that I have kids in private - it isn’t about getting them into a fancy college, though that obviously would be nice. It’s about challenging them to be best version of themselves and the attention/chance for individualization they get with resources and small class size is what I’m seeking.

I think these parents you are dealing with just don’t understand that and you are lucky to have life circumstances to appreciate those benefits. I think if you focus on this as an “IYKYK” situation, it makes it easier to let the comments slide because they just don’t get what you value. And that’s okay - but explaining it is kind of obnoxious and you should just appreciate what you have.

+1000

We make real sacrifice for private school. But it's not for college (DC is in 2nd grade), it's to make them an intellectually richer person.