DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Boy Mom brigade is at it again! One of the things Mark Robinson admitted to on his porn forum was peeping on teen girls in the shower when he was a kid. Excusing sexually inappropriate behavior (because that's what peeping is) teaches the kid that this is a line that's ok to cross, because no consequence happened to him. What will happen if he repeats this behavior with a girl he isn't related to?

OP you aren't taking this seriously enough at all. Your SIL is accusing your daughter of a sexual offence! Exposing yourself to a young child is a big deal! What are you going to do if SIL calls CPS on you?

I am so serious when I say you need to cut contact with these people and see a family therapist about this whole situation. This would be traumatizing for many teens, both the sexually inappropriate behavior of the cousin and the aunt then falsely accusing your daughter of a sexual offense. A professional needs to give your family next steps on how to deal with this.

Why do we have to pick a side? Its done. She locks the door in the future what else is there to say? This isn’t even a big deal as nobody has talked to op about it. But you are going off the deep end

YOU have ZERO right to tell another female how to feel about being peeped on. It's a violation and you need to stop minimizing another female's trauma.

I’m not talking to the 16yr old, clown. This is an anonymous board and OP could be a troll for all we know.

[Anonymous]

You are doing a lot of assuming there CLOWN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing a lot of assuming there CLOWN.

If you want to talk about your own problems start your own thread or better yet hire a real therapist.

[Anonymous]

Ooo burn stupid housewife telling the 16yr old it’s no big deal to get peeped at. You should get your misogyny looked at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ooo burn stupid housewife telling the 16yr old it’s no big deal to get peeped at. You should get your misogyny looked at.

Do you really think you’re talking to a 16 yr old here? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ooo burn stupid housewife telling the 16yr old it’s no big deal to get peeped at. You should get your misogyny looked at.

The issue isn’t about the daughter. It’s about the fallout with the aunt. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

I would escalate this. I don’t believe the 9yo’s story for one second. He snuck into the bathroom knowing she was in the shower, potentially disabling the faulty lock, and was watching her through the cracked open door of the toilet room! That is extremely creepy! I am sure she feels violated! I would see if she wants to talk about it with a therapist. This is so different from someone accidentally opening a door and immediately turning around.

The fact that the SIL is digging in and believes her son’s obvious lie is problematic. She should be talking to him about boundaries and bodies and all that stuff. This is how it started with the Duggar kid, and his parents kept blowing it off as a normal boy thing to be curious about girls…now he’s in jail for child porn.

[Anonymous]

You are all crazy, inventing little details to a very bare bones story. Get on with life.

[Anonymous]

This is really not a big deal, OP. It sounds like he walked in to pee while she was getting out of the shower and both of them are freaking out and accusing the other of doing something wrong when neither of them actually did anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

I usually have to defend men here because there are so many feminazis on this site. But I have to say, if I’m presented two conflicting stories—one saying that a young boy is a perv and the other saying that a young girl is a perv—I’m going to believe that the boy is the perv every time.

[Anonymous]

Have not read the thread but the adults are acting nuts, blowing this out of proportion and causing these kids to feel shame that can really do damage.

This kind of thing happens in a shared house. Both kids can get a quick talk about locking doors, knocking first, whatever and then call it a day. If it continues to happen, then it warrants more attention but to inflate its significance in some way is asinine. Shane on this SIL.

[Anonymous]

Yeah because so many 16 years old girls are just dying for everyone to see them nude. It is obvious the boy snuck in. I don't think it makes him a "perv" but it certainly needs to be shut down and I certainly get why your DD is pissed and embarrassed. Your SIL sounds like she is out of touch with reality so talking to her is like talking to a wall.
Just tell your kid to lock the door from now on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

+1

+1The 9 year old may have been curious or it may have been an accident and he’s afraid to admit it. Calling a 9 year old a perv in this situation is over the top. Adults need to grow the f up and relax. It’s over. Harping on it is totally bizarre. Signed - a sex crimes prosecutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

+1. Yes, she’s right to be upset but this sh-t happens. Take her side, tell her that he was being a little sh-t but 9 year old boys aren’t known for their great behavior, and aunt Larla is being dumb about it, so you’re just gojng to move on. Lock the door always gojng forward, and don’t engage with SIl. If she pushes it, I think your best answer is “well, he clearly misheard because no way in hell did she call him in.”

Ah yes the boys will be boys defense

Have you lost your mind? The kid is 9! He’s not Jack the Ripper or Harvey Weinstein. JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

+1. Yes, she’s right to be upset but this sh-t happens. Take her side, tell her that he was being a little sh-t but 9 year old boys aren’t known for their great behavior, and aunt Larla is being dumb about it, so you’re just gojng to move on. Lock the door always gojng forward, and don’t engage with SIl. If she pushes it, I think your best answer is “well, he clearly misheard because no way in hell did she call him in.”

Ah yes the boys will be boys defense

It’s not a defense. I’m not saying that what he did is okay (and honestly it’s more about him being 9 than about him being a boy — I can see a 9 year old girl doing something similar because they are also curious about bodies and also tend to be a little oblivious to their surroundjngs. I just don’t see any use in OP calling for him to be publicly pilloried. I think the most likely thing is that he walked in oblivious to her being in there, then was sort of startled and froze, then when she started screaming and he was going to get in trouble, he made up a dumb lie. Kids that age lie all the time when they think they will get in trouble, and they are usually really dumb/transparent lies. The worst actor here is SIL for believing such a stupid lie—but I don’t know that calling SIL out on this stupidity will be helpful. Saying “well perhaps he misheard her, and in the future he’ll know not to enter a closed bathroom door without knocking.” And moving on seems like the best course. And if this is typical for SIL, I would avoid future shared living arrangements.

DP

You went too far with the bolded.

I know this is the DC area and we are as PC as it gets, but don't kid yourselves. We can argue all day about whether it's biology or learned behavior, but a 9 year old girl would not peek in on a 16 year old taking a shower. Absolutely not!