DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower

[Anonymous]

And her cousin is claiming DD exposed herself to him in the bathroom.

This happened at Grandparents house over the weekend. DD says she got out of the shower and her cousin was standing in the small room where the toilet is and peeking at her. She covered herself with her towel and started shouting at him and he ran out.

He’s claiming she called him into the bathroom while she was nude.

Obviously DH & I believe our daughter. There’s zero reason she would purposefully expose herself to her younger cousin.

However my SIL believes her son. BIL seems to be staying out of it.

It’s becoming a major issue in our family and DD is incredibly upset that her aunt thinks she’d expose herself to her cousin.

We are taking a little time out from family and hope that SIL calls down.

DH is a little worried because she has a history of escalating things.

Should we be doing something? I’m pretty upset as well.

[Anonymous]

Are DH and BIL brothers, or are DH and SIL brother/sister?

This clearly is a he said/she said situation and it is unlikely whoever is in the wrong will admit it. So you have to decide how to move forward. I am guessing that there will be no more staying together at grandmother's house.

I hope someone else has a better answer.

[Anonymous]

Who is your DH related to?

That fear of escalation is what he is worried about is telling.

I'd take care of my DD by avoiding staying at grandparents' house for a while. Maybe even taking a break for a bit. This is very bad for her, that she is being accused like this.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell your daughter that if the 9 yo is a perv, everyone will eventually figure it out because he'll do it again to someone else. All you can do is keep her safe, so you'll no longer allow for situations where she could be put in that position with him again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are DH and BIL brothers, or are DH and SIL brother/sister?

This clearly is a he said/she said situation and it is unlikely whoever is in the wrong will admit it. So you have to decide how to move forward. I am guessing that there will be no more staying together at grandmother's house.

I hope someone else has a better answer.

Yes DH & BIL are brothers.

Yes if my kids go to Grandma’s alone it will be when cousins are not there. Which is really sad, but I guess it is what it is now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is your DH related to?

That fear of escalation is what he is worried about is telling.

I'd take care of my DD by avoiding staying at grandparents' house for a while. Maybe even taking a break for a bit. This is very bad for her, that she is being accused like this.

I’m telling her not to worry about it because she’s been so upset all weekend but truthfully I am worried.

I don’t take this lightly at all.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.

[Anonymous]

I teachmy kids you will accidentally see people naked when you are sharing houses, vacationing, etc.

Be polite gently look away don’t freak out and excuse yourself

Both the kids are acting like psychos and so are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.

My daughter felt like her space and right to privacy was invaded. She’s only 16.

I am not angry at my nephew and won’t label him. He’s a kid.

But I believe my daughter and my responsibility is to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teachmy kids you will accidentally see people naked when you are sharing houses, vacationing, etc.

Be polite gently look away don’t freak out and excuse yourself

Both the kids are acting like psychos and so are you.

I’ve been on countless vacations/shared houses/etc. and NEVER saw someone naked.

[Anonymous]

How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

“She shouldn’t have been wearing a skirt your honor!”

I can hear this kid in 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell your daughter that if the 9 yo is a perv, everyone will eventually figure it out because he'll do it again to someone else. All you can do is keep her safe, so you'll no longer allow for situations where she could be put in that position with him again.

This.

Why didn’t she use a lock? My teen often leaves her bathroom door and bedroom door wide open while she is showering - very little chance of someone intentionally walking in on her. Still, I tell her EVERYTIME to close and lock her door. If her little 9 year old cousin walked in on her I would give her the old ‘I told you so’ and ‘This is why we lock the door’.

Is it also possible that the cousin ‘thought’ he heard her call him? Either way, who cares - you can only be responsible for your kid - not a pervey cousin. I wouldn’t mention it again to the in-laws, just let it go and train your kid to protect herself. Let the in-laws deal with the budding perv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you? Curious (or clueless) nine year old sees your daughter who freaks out and rather than get in trouble the kid says “no, she made me do it”. You should have told her to lock the door, tell him to not go in if someone is in there and have everyone apologize.

Nine year old boys are curious about boobies.

+1

[Anonymous]

Neither of you are changing your minds on this so just let it go. You aren’t going to be able to prove your daughter is right.