DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower

[Anonymous]

The Boy Mom brigade is at it again! One of the things Mark Robinson admitted to on his porn forum was peeping on teen girls in the shower when he was a kid. Excusing sexually inappropriate behavior (because that's what peeping is) teaches the kid that this is a line that's ok to cross, because no consequence happened to him. What will happen if he repeats this behavior with a girl he isn't related to?

OP you aren't taking this seriously enough at all. Your SIL is accusing your daughter of a sexual offence! Exposing yourself to a young child is a big deal! What are you going to do if SIL calls CPS on you?

I am so serious when I say you need to cut contact with these people and see a family therapist about this whole situation. This would be traumatizing for many teens, both the sexually inappropriate behavior of the cousin and the aunt then falsely accusing your daughter of a sexual offense. A professional needs to give your family next steps on how to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

I used to work at a residential treatment center where the sex offenders unit admitted children as young as 11. The attitudes of a lot of posters on here about the boy's behavior really scares me, because this is how it starts.

[Anonymous]

I'd avoid them. The lying could ruin her, especially if his Mom goes over the top with things. If he was honest that he was curious and took a peak would be one thing. Not okay, but somewhat within normal. Accusing her is a whole other level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a veteran of zillions of big family vacations at the lake house, I couldn’t even count how often this or something like it happened. It’s normal for young boys to try to sneak a peek- and then get schooled. It’s normal for teen girls to feel really upset- and they should be validated and listened to. On the off chance a cousin has a problem, you don’t want to sweep it under the rug. If Aidan does this repeatedly that’s concerning.

SIL is the problem here. Willing to bet the boy is lying because he doesn’t want to be in trouble with her. What can you do besides make sure DD isn’t alone with him (for her protection against allegations) and let DH deal with it otherwise.

Quote for sanity.

Put your heads back on, everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell your daughter that if the 9 yo is a perv, everyone will eventually figure it out because he'll do it again to someone else. All you can do is keep her safe, so you'll no longer allow for situations where she could be put in that position with him again.

I wouldn’t call him a perv, I’d call him curious. Gross that it’s his cousin and probably not completely normal. You have to wonder about the SIL if she truly believes a 16 year old female cousin would call her 9 year old cousin in to the bathroom.

Maebe, Maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.

My daughter felt like her space and right to privacy was invaded. She’s only 16.

I am not angry at my nephew and won’t label him. He’s a kid.

But I believe my daughter and my responsibility is to her.

Why didn’t she lock the door? Who takes a shower in someone else’s house with the door open/unlocked?

Get out of here with your blame the girl mentality! You weirdo!

She leave the door open and I’m the weirdo?? 😂😂😂

She could have been immediately out of the shower with no shower noise to warn anyone and her father, uncle or grandfather could have walked in on her.

You perv!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Boy Mom brigade is at it again! One of the things Mark Robinson admitted to on his porn forum was peeping on teen girls in the shower when he was a kid. Excusing sexually inappropriate behavior (because that's what peeping is) teaches the kid that this is a line that's ok to cross, because no consequence happened to him. What will happen if he repeats this behavior with a girl he isn't related to?

OP you aren't taking this seriously enough at all. Your SIL is accusing your daughter of a sexual offence! Exposing yourself to a young child is a big deal! What are you going to do if SIL calls CPS on you?

I am so serious when I say you need to cut contact with these people and see a family therapist about this whole situation. This would be traumatizing for many teens, both the sexually inappropriate behavior of the cousin and the aunt then falsely accusing your daughter of a sexual offense. A professional needs to give your family next steps on how to deal with this.

Why do we have to pick a side? Its done. She locks the door in the future what else is there to say? This isn’t even a big deal as nobody has talked to op about it. But you are going off the deep end

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell your daughter that if the 9 yo is a perv, everyone will eventually figure it out because he'll do it again to someone else. All you can do is keep her safe, so you'll no longer allow for situations where she could be put in that position with him again.

I wouldn’t call him a perv, I’d call him curious. Gross that it’s his cousin and probably not completely normal. You have to wonder about the SIL if she truly believes a 16 year old female cousin would call her 9 year old cousin in to the bathroom.

Maebe, Maybe not.

[Anonymous]

The amount of people on this thread who aren’t the least bit concerned that the likelihood this child is himself being abused is disturbing. This is not normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The amount of people on this thread who aren’t the least bit concerned that the likelihood this child is himself being abused is disturbing. This is not normal behavior.

We weren’t there maybe it happened as he said. Why are you so invested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The amount of people on this thread who aren’t the least bit concerned that the likelihood this child is himself being abused is disturbing. This is not normal behavior.

Because it's not very likely.

What is likely is he hasn't been taught very good manners and boundaries and in typical #boymom fashion his mother blames everyone else.
The sneaking is within the realm of normal for his age.

The normal parental response would be to sternly correct him so he doesn't do it again.

His weirdo mom has decided not to do that
So he's likely going to continue

[Anonymous]

I get why you and DD are upset, especially if SIL is accusing your dd of being an exhibitionist. Obviously, none of us know what happened and age differences are tricky because they mean there's a power difference. However, he walked in on HER, the accusation that she called him over to look at her get of the shower is just not plausible unless she's got some weird history of this kind of stuff. SIL sounds like a huge problem. My hope is she lets this drop and you can just avoid them for awhile but for sure you need to protect your dd if you don't know how far SIL will take this.

[Anonymous]

9 yr old was peeping at her, got caught and is now embarrassed so lying she called him in there. SIL is ridiculous to believe this. I would never feel safe around this kid ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Boy Mom brigade is at it again! One of the things Mark Robinson admitted to on his porn forum was peeping on teen girls in the shower when he was a kid. Excusing sexually inappropriate behavior (because that's what peeping is) teaches the kid that this is a line that's ok to cross, because no consequence happened to him. What will happen if he repeats this behavior with a girl he isn't related to?

OP you aren't taking this seriously enough at all. Your SIL is accusing your daughter of a sexual offence! Exposing yourself to a young child is a big deal! What are you going to do if SIL calls CPS on you?

I am so serious when I say you need to cut contact with these people and see a family therapist about this whole situation. This would be traumatizing for many teens, both the sexually inappropriate behavior of the cousin and the aunt then falsely accusing your daughter of a sexual offense. A professional needs to give your family next steps on how to deal with this.

Why do we have to pick a side? Its done. She locks the door in the future what else is there to say? This isn’t even a big deal as nobody has talked to op about it. But you are going off the deep end

YOU have ZERO right to tell another female how to feel about being peeped on. It's a violation and you need to stop minimizing another female's trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 yr old was peeping at her, got caught and is now embarrassed so lying she called him in there. SIL is ridiculous to believe this. I would never feel safe around this kid ever again.

This is the hitch that makes me think 9yo went in on accident and lied anyway. Don't you think the mom would know if her son has these proclivities and see through his lie.